Me and my boyfriend are about to have a baby in 3 months (April 27,2007) and in august he will be leaving to go to Atlanta for school and by that time our baby will only be 4 months and i really don't want him to leave because i am scared that she might not be so attached to him when he returns and that he will find someone else to be with and we are planning on getting married in the future. So do any one think that i am being to selfish for not wanting him to go???????????????
2007-01-09 02:45:29 · 12 answers · asked by princesspooh1987 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your situation is not easy I understand the way you feel but I'll tell you something, if this guy really cares about you and loves you then he will not look for somebody else in Atlanta, true love stays even if the person is away, you guys should not get married just because of the Baby, and if he wants to be a good father he will take care of the baby... you are not being selfish is just that you want to share with him and keep him close to the baby which is not bad, but if you can't do anything for him to stay then let him go and try to make the things work as well as he should do it !!!!
congratulations for your baby!!!!
good luck!
2007-01-09 02:58:53 · answer #1 · answered by psmh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you are not being selfish. Especially when you are pregnant, you have the worst hormonal jumps in the world. It is normal to feel this way. But if you think that this is a solid strong relationship, it should last. Maybe you could work something out where you could visit often where he is and you and the baby can spend some time with him. If that is not possible, make sure there is a lot of communication via the phone and let the baby hear his voice often, this way when he comes home the baby will recognize the voice.
How long is he going for? If it is for like 4 years, you might have to both make some sacrifices. Either you find a place there, or let him go to a school closer to you guys. Its tough having a long distance relationship, believe me I know, I am in one, but it is even tougher doing it with a child involved. YOU are NOT being selfish.
2007-01-09 10:56:05 · answer #2 · answered by jam_psb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't necessarily think that you are being selfish but i understand how you can be concerned. my boyfriend is in the military and he is stationed on the other coast of the states. I think that if there is trust in a relationship then there should be no problem. trust is the most important thing in a relationship and as long as you know its there then there should be nothing to worry about. on the childs case yes she might not be as attached but he will return and make up for it and look at the bright side he is leaving for school to provide a better future for both you and the baby. TRUST remember!!!
2007-01-09 10:54:17 · answer #3 · answered by chiquis_mata 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are right fell what you feel, and have these fears. if he was any kind of man, and cared about being a father, he would stay. i am sure there other schools than the one in atlanta! he is the one being selfish if he is still planning to go to atlanta. its his means of escape, plain and simple. he will be running from his duty as a fathe and as a husband, and he WILL find someone else, or at the very least, sleep with someone else. i feel for you. you need to confront him and tell him what you require. and you also need to re-evaluate this relationship quickly. if he goes away, you need to file for child support asap. he is obviously afraid to grow up and accept his responsiblilty. good luck.
2007-01-09 10:55:27 · answer #4 · answered by beechjb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A little selfish, but that's natural. Truth of the matter is though it's a risk you'll have to accept and just do the best with whatever your path ahead holds if you cannot relocate to be near him while he's in school.
2007-01-09 10:50:32 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can either be happy tht he is going to school to better himself or pitch a fit and run the risk of him canceling school and blaming you for the rest of his life of what he could have done with his future. In the end you may or may not lose him. It would be nice if we could keep people in little boxes and keep the on the shelf where we can keep an eye on them.
2007-01-09 10:53:18 · answer #6 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your reaction is normal and healthy, just don't have an unhealthy expression to him. If he is a real man, he will want to be in contact with you every chance he gets and he will miss you and your child terribly. He is trying to better himself for his and your future. Hopefully you can constantly remind him about how much you love him and how much you look forward to your future together.
Get in good with his parents too so they can reaffirm those thoughts and feelings.
2007-01-09 10:51:18 · answer #7 · answered by Jon O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LISTEN HONEY, SOME OF US HAVE HAD IT WORSE BY NOT HAVING THE DAD THERE AT ALL FOR ANYTHING. MY BABY'S DAD WAS GONE FOR THE 1ST 2 MONTHS OF HER LIFE WORKING ALL DAY AND THEN GOING TO A TRAINING CLASS EVERY WEEKEND... HE'S GOING TO GO ANYWAY SO YOU SHOULD JUST ACCEPT IT. IF YOU'RE THINKING HE WILL FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHILE HE'S AWAY THEN OBVIOULSY THERE ARE SOME TRUST ISSUES AND YOU SHOULD'VE GOTTEN AN ABORTION.
just my opinion...
2007-01-09 10:51:03 · answer #8 · answered by kisme86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
naw ma you in luv you better wait for him to come back home after all you guys are having a baby together right.
if thats her daddy then she will know who he is when he comes home if he is there when she is born.
my little brother was born and a month later my dad went to iraq and when he came back home my brother knew exactly who he was just stay strong and don't do anything stupid while he is away
2007-01-09 10:54:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are scared and that is understandable. But if you try to screw up his future with your fear you are being hurtful to you both.
2007-01-09 10:51:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋