Do You think it is accceptable for a 9 yr old to sleep with their mother on his weekend visits.?

Question

what reprucssions do you think this can cause

Answer 1

Sounds like the child has security issues. Even though he is a 9 yr old I would let him every once in a while (hes really still young and needs as much attention you can give him and support) if you are uncomfortable letting him sleep in your bed, just let him sleep in you room. That might help

Answer 2

Depends on the relationship he has with his mother. If he has always slept in her bed, or has done so more often than not, then he probably doesn't see anything wrong with it and I wouldn't worry. There are many cultures where children and parents sleep in the same bed and make nothing of it. It's only wrong if someone says it's wrong, and if this is the way things have been, then I wouldn't worry.

The only thing that could cause problems for him is if people begin to let on to him that there is something wrong with it. Right now it is probably a security thing that he will grow out of. If he starts thinking that he is doing something bad, then I would think that idea, more so than the act itself, will make him self conscious or ashamed. I would not worry about it and just let him grow out of it for now.



Edit: I see a lot of dirty minds on here too. I take offense to Bottom Dollar stereotyping males like that. I know if I had a daughter I would never do anything to her. I had a lot of younger female cousins that I was around a lot and would never have done anything to them either. Now none of them ever slept in my bed, but I remember tucking them in occasionally and staying with them til they fell asleep when they were little, and I do know there's a BIG difference between comforting a child and molesting them, regardless of the gender alignment. I don't care what you see on the news, that's not fair to the normal guys out there, if you ask me.

Answer 3

There are a lot of variable that can effect the answer. If the child is disable in some way I would probably say yes, but under normal circumstances, I would have to say no. A nine year old boy will have already started experiencing physical and emotional changes about his own body and sleeping in the same bed with a grown woman can lead to confusion and wrong conclusions. I believe we should be open and honest with kids and answer their questions, but we also need to be careful about what we allow them to do and what we do in front of them. Everything in youth shapes the adult they will become. It's a mother's responsibility to lead her children through childhood and guide them through times that can be very scary and confusing so that they learn to become self reliant, well adjusted adults. Sleeping with his mother won't accomplish that.

Answer 4

I think it is ok. I am sure a lot of these people do not have 9 year olds! You can give the option of a bed, but if your child is scared or wants to watch a movie with you in there and falls asleep....why would you tell your child to go to the other room? Everyone has their own parenting style, and will have something to say about someone elses. Use the one that fits you.

Answer 5

NO. I don't think its proper for a child to sleep with their parent or parents. Kids need to be in there own space at certain age. Sleeping with a parent will only cause the child separation issues as he/she gets older. The only reason why a child should be in the bed with a parent should be if that child has a night mare then of course don't kick him out, but other than that its best for him/she to be able to adjust in there own bed

Answer 6

No I don't think its acceptable only because he is 9 yrs old and growing up close to notice things about the member of the opposite sex.

And it may confused him whats going on so he should have his own bedroom when visiting.

How would you feel if it was different? Like say a 9 yrs old girl sleeping with her father? MMmm.

Now there is a STRONG chance a father will do something because that's all we ever hear on the evening news, however don't forget that mothers can ALSO do something to their sons if they are sick enough to do.
So Please be very careful in this situation.

Good luck
Love and Peace in 2007

Answer 7

First of all, who is initiating it? Does mom want the child in bed with her or is she trying to get the child to sleep in his/her own bed and the child is resistant?

If the child wants to sleep in their own bed, there's no question - the child should sleep in their own bed.

If the child wants to sleep with mom, maybe they can snuggle in for a movie and then the child can sleep in the same room but on a couch or futon or cot.

To help them stay in their own room, which is what you want eventually, have the child help pick out the sheets and bedding, lamps, decorations. And if budget is an issue, work with the child to make paintings or artwork to hang on the walls of his/her own room.

Answer 8

It is perfectly natural for a child to sleep with their mother! What are you worried about? It's only during the weekend, perhaps she has no other place for him to sleep, and with her is better than on the floor, no? If your son wanted to sleep in bed with you because of a bad dream, wouldn't you let him? If there is no known reason as to why you wouldn't let him, then why worry about it. As he gets older I'd say it would be inappropriet, but for now he is still just a child.

Answer 9

Who cares? As the 9 year old gets older, they won't want to sleep with mom anymore. As long as there is no worries about sexual abuse, I say let them feel safe and loved anyway they need to. If he only gets to see mom on weekends, they have a lot of time to make up for. It is probably good for both of them.

Answer 10

I think it is fine. I grew-up only seeing my mom on the weekends and my sister and I would both sleep in bed with her. My brother slept in the same room, but not in the bed with us. It it is not a sexual thing. It is about being close to someone you love and miss. If he was older I'd say it may be a problem, but nine is still young.