How do you handle your toddler's constant crawling out of the crib when its bedtime?

Question

We did everything "right". My 19 month old never slept with a bottle, never slept in our bed, and always had a consistant bedtime. The past few weeks she has learned to crawl out of her crib, even with the rail all the way up. She screams and screams when it is bedtime, and wont go to sleep unless we are in there too. I try to let her "cry it out" but it is too exhusting after an hour and a half. What is worse, once she does get to sleep she wakes up at about 2 or 3 am and does the same routine. We are so tired and just dont know what to do! How did you handle this situation and what was the outcome?

Her crib converts to a toddler bed and we tried taking the rail off and got the same results,, and worse because she fell out and THAT woke her up.

Sorry, I dont want my kid sleeping with me and my husband, we need our time to ourselves, and everyone I know who allowed their "baby" to sleep with them end up with a 4, 5, 6 year old "baby" still in bed with them, no thanks.

Answer 1

If your baby is not ready for a big bed yet, I would suggest the "crib tent". It is a covering that goes over the crib and keeps the baby from crawling out.

You can see one here: http://www.securebaby.com/crib_tents_all.html

This will keep your little girl in her bed and hopefully you and your husband can have peace of mind and some more sleep.

As for the crying at bedtime, try to start a routine about 1/2 hour before it is actually time to go down. Take a bath, read a book, snuggle, rock, whatever.

Just make it the same every night, giving her all your attention and calming her down for about 1/2 hr before bed. Then, tell her it is bedtime and she needs to go to sleep now. "Mommy will be right out there" A night light may be helpful too.

You may need to let her cry it out a bit, maybe going in after a few minutes and calming her but NOT getting her up. Pat her back and tell her to lay down and go to sleep.

Do this consistently night after night, letting the spacing between "reassurances" get a little longer. She is old enough now to do this, but she needs to learn how. The key is to have an unshakable routine and be totally consistent. It may take you several days, but she will get it and then..... peaceful sleep for everyone, which she and you all need!

Ask me how I know :-)

Hope that helps,
Mom of 5 with another on the way

Answer 2

Your toddler might be ready for a big kid bed. I have a 15 month old but she hasn't started that yet. I will keep an eye on this question so I can find some answers too. But if I were in your situation now, I would ask her doctor for some advise. Good luck!!
Haha, just wanted to add something because I was reading a few answers down from mine. Isn't it amazing how every first time mother is supposed to know the answer to everything? And no, I would not let my child sleep with me either. It does NOT cause depression. I would like to see some studies on that one. I actually feel bad for her because she is going to have kids living with her forever and they won't be able to do anything for themselves!!

Answer 3

If your crib converts to a toddler bed, then convert it & put a small rail up - that way she won't fall out of bed.

I had this same problem, my oldest would freak out at bedtime, then wake up freaking out. We just put her in her room, and did let her cry it out - which was nerve racking. What was happening was she was using that behavior to get her way, so we would go in after 15 min, lay her down again, and leave, repeating this processes w/more time in between. That way she knew we were still there, but that she was not getting up. It may take a few days (nerve racking I know) but I think once you show her YOU are the boss, she'll come around. My oldest still hates bedtime @ 4 y.o., but she knows she won't win - I just put up w/a lot of whining.

Answer 4

Once my son started getting out of the crib, I converted it to the toddler bed. He too fell out but I put a pillow or pile of blankets at the side so it wouldn't hurt him. He still would wake up and come to our room. When he did that, we let him stay. I figured he just needed the comfort. You might check your daughter's room. Go in there on your knees and look at it from her perspective. Is there something that looks a little spooky from that level? Does it get chilly at night? Is it extremely dark? If you have a nightlight in there, is is in a place where it can light up the area she see when she wakes up? You might also try leaving on a CD of soft lullabies or use a white noise machine. Sometimes it is just the creaks and noises at night that can wake them up and they don't understand. You can do things to make her room more inviting and comfortable but she may still want and need the comfort of being with you and that's ok. Don't try to make her grow up too fast. That will happen on it's own and there are days you'll really miss her toddler days!

Is she taking any long naps during the day? Do you have a bedtime routine? I found it worked best for us if we eased into it. We would go to his room, let him pick out two little books he wanted read, turned out the over head light and used a softer lamp. After he went to sleep I would turn on a little bubbler lamp to create some white noise. Most of the time he slept right through the night. As for needing time alone with your husband, most parents can say they have been there. You have to get creative. Get a family member to watch her for the day or let her spend the night with grandma. She'll get to spend time with other family members, which is beneficial to her and you'll get the time you crave. Make it a regular thing to go on dates with your husband. Movies, picnics, walks in the park, etc. Even a nighttime picnic in the back yard on a warm night. Even if she is home with you, you can have moments alone. Put a baby monitor in her room and you'll be able to hear if she needs anything. I know that doesn't sound very sensual, but with kids, the days of sweeping romantic moments will have to wait a bit. It will get better, just be patient.

Answer 5

Since your crib converts to a toddler bed I would do that. put some pillows down around it in case she falls out. As for getting her to sleep there I like the approach Supernanny takes. It might be exausting and stressful for a few nights, but she'll get the picture. Worked for my night owl! Just make sure you have a solid bedtime routine that involves a lot of soothing and quieting.

Our routine starts with picking up toys (they are 3 and 4), brushing teeth and washing up, reading (we read 4 stories and it usually takes about a half hour of reading, but for her age you'd want to cut it to 2 stories or her attention might wander) and then lights out. If they get up they are told they have to get back in bed and I bring them back. After that, no talking, just being brought back to bed each time until they go to sleep. My kids almost never get up anymore.

Answer 6

well as soon as they start climing out its time for toddler bed , if your afraid of her getting hurt cause she rolls out of it put the matress on the floor it wont hurt her adn its legal , or u can also put a safety rail ton the toddler bed to help prevent her from falling . if she rolls out of the toddler bed and wakes up on the floor no biggy less inuries can happen but climing out of crib can hurt herself if she slips etc . as for the bed time thingy , i dont know what hour you put your child to be at night maybe its to soon or maybe she is over tired and cant sleep or even to excited from activities through out the day , about an hour in a half before bed time have like a cool down period , get things ready for next day have her help pick up her toys etc , then about an hour before bed time give your daughter a nice warm bath , give her like a baby massage with lotion after the bath then read her a book in her bed , after you read the book give her a kiss and tell her good night and walk out of the room dont say no more to her , if she gets out take her back into her room and put her back in bed , keep doing this without saying no more except its time for bed , it may take a week adn yes it may be tiring but in the end its worth it , the kep here is persectance and showing her that its bed time not play time , shes almost 2 and they start testing at that age what there parents will give into and what they wont etc , but at the end of the day there should be a wind down time to relax etc , i hopoe thisd works but i do agree with you never let a child sleep with you from any age especially in you bed , if a child must be in the same room with mom and dad have seperate beds but no matter what age they should not be allowed to sleep in same room with mom and dad , then the child will learn mom and dad is always there and it wont teach a child how to go to sleep on own etc .

Answer 7

first, I would get her into a toddler bed, because she could get hurt crawling out of the crib. I went through this briefly with my daughter, everytime she would come into our room, I would silently bring her back to her room and leave her in her bed. it took a few long nights, but now she knows that she's not going to be allowed in our bed.

Answer 8

I have a 4.5 yr old son, he always slept with me, I nursed him until he was nearly 2. He is NOT in my bed, he has been in his own bed since he was1.5 on his own free will. He is a well adjusted child who reads, writes and sleeps very, very well. I had a sister in-law who did the oppisite; let her child cry it out for hours at a time, not allow her to sleep with her, because she wanted her sleep more (I slept better with mine with me, know ing he was OK and did not have to go very far to feed and take care of him) I was pressured into doing what she did by all of my in-laws family and you know what, my child started to not talk, it messed up his sleeping pattern, made him angry all of the time so I jst sd forget it, I'm his mom they are not. This had lasted for a couple of weeks. Finaly I just did what I felt was right, read to him, stayed in his room until he fell asleep (it's usualy just another awarness stage that makes them do this anyway). until he got used to the idea of me leaving the room. Slowly ( about a week) I was in the living room with his door open and he would fall asleep with no prob. His mood changed for the better, his cousins did not, she crawled out all of the time, would get herself hurt, turned very violent towards others and did not want to have anything to do with her mother. She is still like this at 5. I know other family members who did as she did and the child has the same temperment, where as those who did their own thing (not necs. what I did) had happier babies. So what I am trying to say, do what feels right for the child and you, not what you want, there is a happy medium for all.
The have tents you can put over the bed to prevent her from getting out if you want to go that far.

Answer 9

What did your parents do? Tell you what they did especially if they were European. They would let you ball and that was that. Crawling out....well then the crib has to be made with a higher gate....or you have to get the child tireder (in other words more activity running or crawling or whatever they do at this age) to put to bed "later" than what you are doing now.
That's all. When it gets older, then it will understand the meaning of a whuppin" should it move its hine out of bed or make a wimper when it should be sleeping. Sounds harsh but it "happened to you" and you lived.

Answer 10

Did you know the inventor of 'cry it out' has finally renounced it?

You are so tired and don't know what to do because you keep trying things that don't match the needs of your baby. What you're doing isn't working. You're not getting quality time with your husband and your daughter's trust in your is being hurt.

Why would you keep doing the same thing over and over when it is not working?

You have to stop telling yourself how things should be and face how things are. Babies are not what the western media wishes to pretend they are.