do i call of my wedding!!!! lack of money?

Question

Dilemma time!!!
please give me some ideas and advice on what u think i should do, getting married 07/07/07 paid and arranged most things, now my partner has money troubles, we firstly have planned this wedding on a really tight budget so cant really cut down on anything as its budgeted for anyway.
I saw my partner cry today as we are in a mess with money, i said to him we should call it off but he said no see where we are in a few months, but to be honest i think we will still be struggling financly.
Really dont know what to do, i want to marry him but i dont wanna make us in more debt.
pleaae

Answer 1

If you really love this person, don't call off the wedding. It costs next to nothing to actually get married, so maybe you get married but postpone the celebration until things get better. Or just have a simple celebration (without the flowers, huge wedding cake, reception hall). I had friends that actually got married, and then just had a huge picnic celebration in a public park. It was actually a lot of fun.

I wish you the best and hope that things get better for you financially.

Answer 2

Have a look at whats already been paid for. How much money would you be losing? What is the estimated overall cost of the day. What would you be prepared to sacrifice.If you are hiring cars suits etc. Can any of this be cut back on. Are there any family members that can help with making the cake doing hair, the disco or music etc. Making your own invitations is less costly and if people know what predicament you're in you will find so many people willing to help. What you need to decide is would you rather wait and have everything you ever dreamed of or would you be satisfied having what you can afford? The worst thing is a starting married life in debt. But I cant talk. We ended up taking a small loan for ours just to meet the short fall. We had so much help in the above ways that it cost us very little we married at the registry office then had a big party. It was the best day of my life. but that was all I wanted. If you want more then perhaps you should wait. Love is all that is important ( as well as the dress!) lol

Whatever you decide make sure its what you both want as it doesn't get any easier when your married. keep talking to each other you can work it out as long as you have each other.

best wishes

Answer 3

Marriage is about love and understanding of 2 people that wish to spend the rest of their lives together. A wedding is a one day thing, one day only. And although we would all like to have the best day of our lives, it is the continuation of the wedding day that really matters. So, this is what you should do.
1) get married in a registry office
2) have an small after party event if it is not drastically gonna mess up your finances
3) then start saving up for a honeymoon next year which will be a combination of honemoon and renewal of the vows on the beach somewhere
4) this way, you will have a dream wedding, a nice big dress if you want it, the gorgeous weather, and family if they so wish to attend

Don't beat yourself about it, there are bound to be a lot of important decisions that you will need to make in your life. The main thing is that you wish to be married, love one another, and the rest will follow. There is no point in you getting yourself deeper into debt, so the sake of a day (I know it is a special day, but!). In the meantime if it possible, get a second job if you really need the money. And don't stress, it will all work out in the end. It always does. Your fiancee was probably just upest because he tried to give you the best day ever and feels that he has somehow let you down, but that isn't the case. It is not what happens in life, it is how you deal with it. I wish you both all the best for the future.

Answer 4

First thing you have to do is comfort him, reassure him, tell you love him with all your heart and you will never leave him, whatever finances are like. Tell him you are always going to be together and the best way to deal with this situation is to face it together.

It does sound to me as if you need to consider postponing your wedding. That way you may not forfeit your deposits. Consider rescheduling it for twelve months later. That would really take the heat off and give you much-needed breathing space to get finances in order - as well as spread out payments so they are less painful. That way you would still have the wedding you wanted, without forfeiting any money or worsening the worry you are both going through.

Alternatively, yes, marry him on 7 July 07 but in a simple, straightforward ceremony followed by lunch or dinner somewhere for a small number of family and friends. If the date itself has numerical significance for you, i.e. it seems like a lucky number, think of 8 8 08 - the Chinese say the number 8 is hugely lucky, so you could triple your luck there.

The most important thing right now is to calm your partner down and get him to face facts - that you probably can't go ahead as planned on 7 July this year. Start making phone calls to your suppliers etc and say you might have to postpone the wedding until whatever date you think best - see what they say about deposits and balances etc.

Good luck.

Answer 5

So you say there is no place to reduce the budget for your wedding? Have you paid in full all the vendors for your ceremony and reception? Or have you paid retainers/down payments? If down payments or required fees to guarantee vendors products then that is almost better? Ok the cost of a church wedding is close to the same for a small and a large wedding-churches have flat fees and usually dont require a limit on persons attending as long as it is not more than they can legally have. The only way to save any on the church is with flowers and others odds and ends Like a guest register. When you shop for things find the same thing without the silver and gold and fancy "wedding stuff" but rather buy a white book to use, savings anywhere from $5 to 60+ for a book!! Since you have the church you could have your reception there and its cheaper. Have a morning wedding and serve "lunch" less food costs. Talk to people and see what you can still do and supplement if necessary.When I found myself pregnant 5months before our wedding we were able to cancel most of our contracts and only lost a small amount of money only because they had not actually started on my wedding yet or purchased anything etc. We then had a small family wedding at my parents house , I still wore my dress (admittedly altered) and we had thier beautifull Christmas Tree as our "chapel". Cost $479 plus the cost of my dress and the bridesmaids dresses that had already been made so I had to buy them (contract). SO its doesnt mean you cant get married but it might mean you wont have the grand wedding you originally planned, but what is important is the marriage right not the fancy ceremony.

Answer 6

Do what you can to cut things back. Do not cancel. Prove to each other that money troubles can be overcome together. Do not get yourself into any more debt. Contact the suppliers and see what you can claw back, if you need to cancel some of your plans then do so. There are plenty of options when it comes to getting married and if it means that you lose a few deposits to save yourself some money in the long run then do so.

We got married on a budget and I wouldn't have changed a thing. The wedding never really mattered to me - it was the marriage that I wanted.

I wish you both luck. Money troubles can cause so many problems for people. You sound like you guys talk about these things which is the first half of the battle.

Answer 7

You know you can have the most wonderful party (for that is what it is) in a park on a sunny day, or a local hall, with a huge fish and chip supper for everyone, or explain that you want everyone to celebrate with you and you'll forgo the gifts if they will pay for their food. These are your friends and family, they love you, they want you to be happy. As long as you get someone (a handful of guests) to take lots of photos thats the bit thats important. Starting out on married life in debt will put a strain on you both - people already get the blues after the wedding because its a let down after all that planning and being busy - make yours different - vow to have fun and everyone else will! Wish I'd done it that way! You may find some deposits can't be refunded, but thats no reason to get further into debt.
Have a happy time!

Answer 8

I am really sorry to hear whats happened. The wedding isn't important it is the love you have for each other. Me and my partner don't have a lot of money, but want to get married and start a life together as husband and wife. We have opted for a wedding abroad in Jamaica. There are so many holidays that give free weddings included, you just need to turn up with dress and get it done (so to speak), and depending on your budget you can add as many extras and you want to make it more special.

It maybe a little late to decide on that but I wish you both the best of luck!x

Answer 9

I know of some people who have gotten married in a major way and the marriage lasted a month and a half. My wedding cost around $1000 and I'm happily going on 6 years.

If you've paid and arranged for most things, figure out a way to cut back on others. There have got to be ways.

This would be easier if we knew what you had left to do, but.....

Order a pre-made cake, or ask your friends if they know of someone who can make a cake for cheap. Or get a plain cake and decorate it with fresh flowers.

Make your own flower arrangements.

Cut the caterer and provide finger sandwiches, shrimp cocktail, or other easy to make (as in, you and your mom/friends made them) finger-foods.

Forget the favors. No one will talk bad about you if they get a few mints instead of engraved picture frames or specially made cd's.

Simplify the wardrobe. Believe it or not, you can get married in more casual clothes or a more casual atmosphere.


If you love him, you need to decide if you want the wedding or the marriage.

Best of luck to you. :-)

Answer 10

I agree with Tamra. Dont call off the wedding just postpone the reception. 07/7 is also my date and the more i read this site the more nervous i am about money. every day i am trying to pare something down or cut something out so i wont be forced to cancel my own wedding.

if u have down payments on vendors for the reception maintain them just use that deposit towards another date in the future ofr the reception. you can always cancel the church and have it somewhere free. if the reception is delayed then u can get away with a Cotsco cake. advise ur wedding party that it wll be just ur man and 2 witnesses and have them bring pot luck to feed the guests.

it can be done just take a minute and think and dont have a pitty party :) it will all come together.

good luck