This is not me.
A friends daughter has recently started 'seeing' this 30 year old.
Personally I think it is a bit wrong but I wanted to know what the general consensus is.
She has left school and works in a bank. He works in the same bank and that is how they met.
He looks alot younger - about 26 I would say and she looks about 18 but I still find it a little weird.
They go on dates and he takes her out for meals and stuff. She also goes round to his flat on a regular basis but my friend does not seem to mind to much which shocks me because if I had a 16 year old daughter I would not like it at all.
Am I being narrow minded or is this wrong?
2007-01-09 01:57:30 · 37 answers · asked by abluebobcat 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am from the UK so no it is not illegal as the age of consent is 16.
2007-01-09 02:03:18 · update #1
Am I on the USA page?
Thought this was UK.
2007-01-09 02:04:27 · update #2
love is blind. it does not take into consideration caste, creed, religion, age,financial status. there is nothing wrong in their relationship.
2007-01-09 02:03:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 1⤋
Like anything you look at the circumstances.
What may well be the case is the guy is immature for his age as parents were over protective and gave him no help getting girlfriends so he fell behind everyone else in the
No experience no girlfriend, no girlfriend no experience trap... So effectively would be much younger and daughter if working may be mature for her age.
Now if she is very immature and the guy is very manipulative withc a history or trying to de virgin girls and dumping them, or getting them onto hard drugs, or into a gang then there is a problem... other then that they could have just as easily met up in a hostel on holiday and hit it off.
If he is too mature for her the relationship will break up with no help from you.
Equally maybe the guys her age are total assholes just into seeing how many girls they can bang, smoking shed loads of dope, total piss heads and part of street gangs.
So simply those her own age does not necessarily mean better.
Or he could be a case of mates all coupled up but still likes clubbing and partying so looking for someone still into it.
If he looks younger odd are he has been treated younger and can't date those his age. Or maybe all the girls his age have been in long term relationships and he has not.
So as said throw the rule book out of the window and judge on a individual circumstance case.
Remember many cases a twenty something teacher and 6th form student started a relationship. Shock horror how dare he. he got hounded out of a job possibly arrested but the girl stuck with him and after everyone butted out they got married and few decades later still happy with kids whilst many who only dated guys their age divorced, single mums, on some dodgy estate etc etc.
So not necessarily wrong... its up to the girl unless GENUINELY manipulated.
One poster wrote
'What in the world do they have in common besides having sex?'
Common dumb thinking... How about likeing the same nightclubs, music, movies, bowling whatever?
Ie just as the guys around 30 does not mean he is into dinner parties and suits and whatever else 30 year olds are supposed to be into...
What is it... reach 30 and you aint allowed to like the same things you did when 29?
Likewise why is it so certain he has been laid more then she has?
As mentioned could well be a case he never had a proper girlfriend.
Oh and in the UK the age of consent is 16 and the teen pregnancy rate is a lot lower so the americans dont know all that much.
Abuse is abuse... ie sexaul bullying...
You mentioned no sign of this, you mentioned no sign she is immature.
When I was in teens girl mates dated guys in 20s and when in 20s mates of 16 though to mid 20s dated.
No different to anyone dating, they just liked each other and in many cases the girls where more mature and experienced then the guys.
Never saw any sign of abuse. When split up often mates.
However come accross pleanty of dick head chav/white trash teenage yobs
2007-01-09 03:34:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many different perceptions on age. It is just a number, and the fact that there is a significant amount of age difference between two people is a very touchy subject for most people. I do not think that there it is such a big deal for people to be ten or more years apart. What I DO have a problem with is the fact that she is only 16!!! She should be at least of legal age!!! She is a child still, not that 18 is a whole lot different, however it is the legal age here!!! If she were 20 and he would be 34 would it make such a difference?? Probably not--I think that the fact that she is only 16 is what I have such a problem with. So narrow minded maybe a little, but I think that a lot of that has to do with the fact that she is only 16...think about how you would feel if she were a bit older.
2007-01-09 02:08:50 · answer #3 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
A married man 30 years old that desires a 16 year old? He is a low life period! An unfaithful selfish person. He is a creep alright. If he messes with you and gets caught, he will go to prison. He will probably lose his wife and family. Not that he wouldn't deserve it but do yourself a favor and stay away from him. Guys like that are twisted. if he isn't a pedophile than he's the closest thing to it along with a lot of other bad things!
2016-05-22 22:37:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it is right.
I don't have a problem with age differences in relationships, but no matter how mature this girl thinks she may be she is still a child.
A 30 year old man will be expecting a lot more from a relationship than a 16 year old girl.
Give your friend a slap and tell him to start being a father to his daughter!
2007-01-09 02:05:43 · answer #5 · answered by L D 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you are'nt being narrow minded, i agree with you. My husbands cousin was 30 when he started seeing a 15yr old, a year later they had a baby, then another year later, had another baby, then they got married, less than 6mths on, they've separated & she wants a divorce & she's only just turned 21. She now want's to live her life by doing all the things she missed out on when she was young, by going out clubbing & partying. i don't agree with that sort of age gap cos it's almost perverse. The girl feels as though she needs to grow up fast to keep in line with her boyfriend & that i think is wrong as the saga with my hubby's cousin proves. But i totally agree with you, it doe's seem wrong.
2007-01-09 02:11:35 · answer #6 · answered by CHELSEAGIRL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as I'm concerned, a 16 year old girl is not capable of handling an adult relationship with a 30 year old man. She should be out with boys her own age, experimenting and growing up at a healthy normal pace. This 30 year old man needs his head examined, somewhere in the world this would be labelled statutory rape. Perhaps he is mentally immature and is grasping at his own teen years through her. A responsible adult has got to put a stop to this.
2007-01-09 02:07:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is wrong. He is an adult and technically she is still just a child. If they want to date, then let him wait 2 years until she is eighteen and an adult.
Doesn't he worry that you could get in trouble by dating a minor. If I was her parents, I would put a stop to it now, before it's too late. It sounds like it already is if she dropped out of school. Atleast she is working, but she needs to be careful.
2007-01-09 02:05:37 · answer #8 · answered by Deborah 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You or her parents can't do a thing about it as it is perfectly legal, and yes this is the UK pags, just that the Americans like to think that all questions, even on the UK and Ireland pages need their input as to what is legal in the various states of the USA.
2007-01-09 02:07:28 · answer #9 · answered by mike-from-spain 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think it's wrong! I am a 32 yr old woman and I would never date a 16 yr old. What in the world do they have in common besides having sex? That mother needs to put a stop to that immediately! It doesn't matter how old they look, it's their legal ages that count. I do believe in some states it's illegal to have a 30 yr old with a 16 yr old. Check out your states laws!
2007-01-09 02:04:32 · answer #10 · answered by TTC Cycle#20 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No, you're not being narrow minded, this is very dodgy. Nothing you can do of course, even her parents can't do much. What on earth do they talk about when not having sex ?
No, you're not on the wrong page, we have to share this page with the US, and they think their law applies worldwide.
2007-01-12 18:35:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋