me (19) and AP (19) have had a brief but intense past.
even though me and him only lasted 3 weeks in late november/early december
i was so infatuated
i have known him since september
since he has been out with his high school crush, J for about a week (last week) but has spent much time with her on the phone (over a year but not during when i was with him) she's really special to him and i respect that. he is single now...
he has been in the state of confusion because he doesn't know whether he should carry on with J whom occasionally falls out with him or stop.. and find someone else.
and that someone else...would be me. because he knows how i feel
he comes to me for advice about J, i give him honest opinions, not trying to mislead him to leave her, because if that was me, i wouldn't.
but it hurts because I WANT HIM FOR MYSELF but now i am his friend/flirt buddy LOL i don't know.
only speaks to me when he pleases. how crap is that?!
i cherish each moment with him
2007-01-09 01:44:05 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
From what you have written you have turned in the confiding "friend" and there is very rarely a way back from that route.
He confides in you about another woman he likes.
There is little hope I am afraid.
You have two options:
1. Tell him how you feel, lay it on the table and tell him you don't want to talk about this other women, you wanna get back with him. If he says no, cut him off and move on.
2. Suffer in silence and carry on with this painful "friendship" content in being second best.
2007-01-09 02:13:18 · answer #1 · answered by abluebobcat 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't sound promising, does it? It is kind of you to give him advice but you must be scrupulously honest with him and never give in to the temptation to scupper one of his romances so that he can be with you instead. That would be a terrible betrayal of your friendship with him (and I know someone who's done that - she's loved the same man for 20 years or more and he thinks they're just friends. She's manipulated him to keep him single and lonely, because she can't bear to see him happy with anyone else. What kind of love is that?)
You should spend time with other people and nurture other friendships that will probably last much longer than this man, whose name you may well have forgotten in a few years. Do you ever wonder what AP has said to J? Or what J may think of his friendship with you? Can you imagine AP assuring J that you and he are and always will be just good friends? Why else would he come to you for advice? He just feels comfortable with you, as if you were his sister. If he had genuine feelings for you, he wouldn't waste time with anyone else, or risk losing you to another man. You will see this more clearly if you start dating other men, as you should, and see how he reacts.
Good luck.
2007-01-09 02:35:00 · answer #2 · answered by Specsy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You say he only speaks to you when he pleases. Normally when i only talk to a female when i choose its because i know she is "infatuated" with me. Why should i have to spend all my time around or with her if i know i can do nothing and still end up with the same result. If hes single, and sparks fly between you two then go for it. Dont let your emotions get in the way of finding out whats best for you though. Dont be blinded by your feelings, a man still should pursue the woman he wants. I wouldnt throw yourself at him though that obviously doesnt work, and if he doesnt show any interest then leave it alone. He'll know what he had when its gone.
2007-01-09 01:52:51 · answer #3 · answered by king.8307 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are in for a rude awakening. This guy isn't into you. He had his chance with you and went for something else. I'm sure you have this vision in your head of what he was like when you dated. Keep in mind that we have very different perceptions of the people we see. If he did like you, he would be with you now that he isn't with her. He really likes her and will practically do anything to get her. Give up and move on. Thank you.
2007-01-09 01:50:17 · answer #4 · answered by cookie 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Depends why you stopped seeing each other in the first place if you screwed it up somehow and made him mad then leave him alone. If he wants this girl get him before they are serious cause if you brake them up when they are together thats bad karma and not cool to do to somebody
2007-01-09 01:51:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're crazy! He is asking you whether you are interested in him and you are not giving him a clear answer! So, of course he is confused! Don't just be friendly with him. SHOW him that you want him; don't just say so. And if he is truly not interested, then move on.But it seems to me that he is talking to you about another girl so that you will tell him to leave her because you are there for him.
2007-01-09 01:50:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anpadh 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
most guys will not see that you like them if you answer questions like that for him. if he is single, you need to put it out there that you want to be with him no matter what. be blunt, obvious, dont use hints or anything that can be taken a different way than the way they were intended.
2007-01-09 01:53:31 · answer #7 · answered by cr4is2py0 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
maybe you do want him for yoourself but it sounds to me like he has got the penny and the bun argues with one runs back to the other i suppose you could call him a lucky guy and yourself the silly one
2007-01-09 01:53:04 · answer #8 · answered by JANE R 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what you told us, ask him what the f*** .. in a nice way and see what happens. Just remember to respect yourself. Nobody deserves to be 2nd best to anyone.
2007-01-09 01:49:13 · answer #9 · answered by willy g 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
you shouldnt guide to do bad things like that! I think, you should talk to him about everything that you feel. he has to now! honestly. but, dont ever try to persuade him. He may scare.
2007-01-09 01:52:25 · answer #10 · answered by kaha 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋