Pleez help. Boyfriend problems. Is it okay for your boyfirend to treat you this way or am I just over reactin

Question

He tells me all the time that he loves me and that I'm his everything. He's usually soo sweet. But sometimes he just changes. We were talking on the phone and I wasn't talking much and he told me I was boring.. so i said well you dont have to talk to me if im boring get off the phone. He said no i want to talk to you though. Then we stay on longer and all of a sudden out of bordomn or something he just starts putting me down and calling me names. Like he tells me that im stupid or im on crack er something. He says he's just joking around but does that even make it okay. After a while he decided to get off the phone cuz i was actin pissy n we decided to talk on the computer. He asked me what was wrong and after i told him i dotn understand why you have to act like that n just start caling me names he got mad and said something like boo hoo you cant even handle someone calling you stupid? Am I overreacting with this becuz he said he doesnt mean those things or is this a problem

Answer 1

Yes, there is a problem. Your boyfriend is an immature jerk. Get out while the getting is good!

Answer 2

Well, I'd say he's a rude dude with a split personality and you're being too sensitive. By the same token, (if I were you) I wouldn't put up with anyone being rude to me for too long. Don't let it become a habit because it surely will and I promise you won't like it. He may try to get you to think that he's just playing and it doesn't mean anything. But if it hurts you, doesn't that mean something to you? You have feelings and the right to be respected. Don't let people take advantage of you.

Now, if 99% of the people here tell you that you should leave this guy are you gonna stay and let him continue to abuse you?

That's what I wanna know.

Answer 3

If u love someone u treat them with respect, not the way he talks to u. He sounds very immature, and this type of treatment probably won't change, because he obviously thinks it's ok to talk to u like that. Next time he does that I would say look u are not talking to one of your buddies, I don't appreciate it and I won't put up with it. You have to show him u are strong and demand respect, not weak, those type of personalities prey on the weak so they can get a reaction. If he still continues after u stand up to him then u need to reavaluate what u want out of a bf. I think he needs to grow up and learn how to treat a woman..........u deserve better.

Answer 4

you are not over reacting.

Dump him and run the opposite direction as fast as you can.

This is classic abusive behaviour. It starts out simple enough and with some name calling. Soon, you will have to report to him and he will start yelling and screaming at you, telling you that you are not good enough to live and not good enough for him. If you get depressed, he will yell at you for being depressed.

Anything you do that he doesn't like will result in him yelling or screaming at you. It is only a matter of time before he starts hitting you, and punishing you for doing wrong things, like thinking differently to him, saying that his **** work was not the best in the class.

I once heard of a woman who was chained by her neck to the ceiling, naked, for three days. And why - because she over loaded the washing machine. the husband would put food at her feet, and because she was chained, she couldn't get to it. He would come back in 2 hours and say "oh, you have't eaten, you mustn't be hungry then" and take the food away. So for those three days she had no food or water. She eventually found the courage to run away when he was at work one day. Last i read, he was stalking her and threatening to kill her. And she was under 24 hour protection.

Leave before he gets worse.

You are stupid only if you stay with him

Answer 5

You are NOT being too sensitive. What you are is well on the road to becoming some day just another statistic on the police files of battered women. You are allowing him to get away with verbal abuse, and sooner or later that will become boring to him, and then he will ramp it up to physical abuse. Battered women all got the same warning signs in the early days. They ignored them. You don't think he's like that? It couldn't happen to you? Yep, that's what they all said too.

Answer 6

Good for you for sticking up for yourself!! In my view, you are right to protest. Comments like these can wear anyone down at some point and could even constitute verbal abuse if someone kept it up. Most of us would drop a female friend that made such negative comments and we'd look for more supportive friends. It's impt. that a boyfriend know how to be nuturing and promote positive feelings about ourselves. While it's true that no one can make us feel inferior w/o our permission, we shouldn't have to be defensive w/those that claim to care about us. So I don't think you're over-reacting.

Answer 7

Katee, This is a PROBLEM. He should respect you and NEVER call you stupid or any other names. It is disrespectful to call you names and to manipulate you like this. Contrary to his claim that he loves you, I suspect that he has little respect for you or for himself. He should have more pride in himself than to resort to childish name calling and other abusive behavior. Tell him that if he cannot treat you like a person should be treated that she should look elsewhere for a girlfriend. One should never have to put up with abusive behavior. You should look at the dynamics that go on in his family to see if his mother or sisters are treated badly. He will do no better than he has been taught. He needs to grow up and act like a man instead of a BOY. Hang up when he starts calling you names and tell him that you refuse to be treated like dirt.

Answer 8

He is playing around with your head. He may not mean anything by this but if he knows it bothers you and still does it then he doesn't really care aobut you. Try calling him a nancy boy and cutting on him for awhile and see how he likes it. You might want to consider finding a guy who respects you and actually cares about your feelings. This guy sounds like a childish, immature jerk.

Answer 9

I take care of my boyfriend the way i might want to favor to be dealt with.... many of the time he treats me like a Queen, the really challenge he has is that... He dosen't imagine B4 He speeks! I dont get mad at him even as he does because i understand he does not mean too!! For exp: in the destiny i change into attempting on those jeans and that i change into like " Sweetie, Do those jeans make me look fat!?, He replyed " No Babe! Your fat makes you look fat!" @ the on the spot i change into extremely ticked off, yet once i change into his face and how he didnt recommend to assert it, i change into ok! So yeah,

Answer 10

You are obviously dealing with an immature person. Get rid of the stupid little ***** and and find a mature man who is willing to treat you like a lady.

Answer 11

He's insecure and is trying to make you feel bad by implying that you're not good enough and he can do better. Tell him if he really believes the nasty things he says then you'll find someone with a higher opinion of you. He's the one with the problem NOT you.