I'm 36, good job and own house, but have been single for 5 years. whats wrong with me?? Please help?

Question

I have lots of friends and a good social life but its lonely always going home alone and one night stands don't interest me. What can i do.

Answer 1

Hmmm ... for a start, you don't allow people to contact you. I was going to email you about a male friend who is in the same situation as yourself and see if you'd like to befriend him (I presume you also live in the south of England?) If you live locally, it's definitely worth you two meeting up. Even if you are not right for each other, you both have many friends to choose from.

Answer 2

Well, rather than thinking something is wrong with you, how about reviewing your search methodology? With a good job and your own home, you have proved you can obviously think your way ahead of the crowd. Is your sub-conscience telling you something?

Have you made a list of the qualities you want in a lifetime mate? Sounds cold, but you do need to have a clear picture of your target instead of using the "..maybe lightning will strike" haphazard way of finding someone.

Once you have a clear picture of what you seek, it should be easier to figure out where they hang out. If you are looking for a rich stock-broker type, don't go to the local CW pool hall. The chances of finding one there is small. Joining the local tennis or golf club would increase your chances.

The other thing to watch out for is self-sabatage. Have you healed sufficiently from the last encounter 5 years ago? Are you setting yourself up for failure no matter what you do? What kind of "vibes" are you giving out? This may involve a couple of sessions with a therapist, but could be well worth the investment in yourself.

Sounds very cold, but think of it as a retail product. The product (you) must be properly merchandised, and attract the right kind of customer (him). Both must be acceptable for a sale to be made. The bottom line is, sometimes life is a job. Treat it like one.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

you're just not going to the places where guys go, or you are going with girlfriends and thus putting off single men to approach you. I'd suggest taking up an interest, probably a night class, which gets you into more male company and where guys might go. I did a car maintenance class years ago - there were only two girls on this and twelve guys (with friends who we met after the class in the pub), and I also learned a valuable skill in addition to meeting more guys. You may be confined within a 'girlie' circle so you have to expand your horizons at bit. Find an interest that men have (learn to ride a motorbike! Great fun and plenty of men!), do something where women are fairly scarce and you will stand out. Good luck, have fun

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with you,not allowing emails means certain serious answers to your questions apart from the odd crony cannot be answered on here,if you can see it from a male prospective?Your social friends may be comfortable knowing your situ but are any of them giving you any positive vibes or do you just feel cosy with them knowing at the end of the night they have someone & you well...Take a step back & decide whether you need to change what you are doing in order to meet a different class of person?

Answer 5

You are tooooooo picky. When you meet someone, you super- over analyze them to the point no one is good enough for you. The person you think you want does not exist. Everyone wants that man but he does not exist because no one is perfect. You are 36 and set in your ways. You will have to figure out what is more important to you, a perfect invisible person or a man you can work with that have a few flaws. You have it going on but you are not perfect yourself. Stop It! The man you want is right in front of you and you are missing your blessing because you do not like the package it came in.

Answer 6

start doing things out of your comfort zone - think of something to do which challenges you - a parachute jump, a cycle route, a marathon, or something else entirely. Whilst concentrating on this new hobby you will meet different people, but people who are interested in similar things to you and then they will see the real you and may find you a lot more interesting than the social successful but seemingly unobtainable person you possibly portray within your comfort zone.

This is only a suggestion as it is impossible to help you without knowing a lot more. But its got to be worth a try.

Answer 7

I own home good jog and I am 46 and still singel.
with zero personal life no friends so sweetheart you not alone.
Your time will come there is a handsome knight out there just 4 you.
Don't give up on love even if it seems to have aluded you for now.
I know about how being alone is I am alone every day looking for that woman to complete my life.
I know that she is out there some where just where I have no clue.
I won't give up so don't you either.
Follow your heart good luck.

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with you. I am in similar position! Just the way life is these days. You will meet someone when you least expect it! I know what you mean about going home to empty house etc. But just focus on your life and you and be happy in yourself the rest will fall into place.

Good Luck

Answer 9

Ask a friend you trust what kind of vibe you give off. I just recently read that for a person in your situation you may be giving off a, "I have everything I need and don't need anyone" vibe. Or, if you're very attractive maybe people think you're already taken, so they're waiting for some type of signal from you too approach.

Answer 10

Take some time off work,.. Do something youve never done before,.. And try to meet a guy outside of your normal social life. The key word here is TRY.