I've recently severed ties with my boyfriend of many years. I wanted him to propose but he seemed opposed to marriage. Did I do the right thing?
2007-01-09 00:04:57 · 17 answers · asked by Curious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I love it. It reminds me of all the women, or should I say girls, who told me that I took the "best years of their lives away" because I only run them from 21 to 23 and then get rid of them
Give the poor guy a break. Maybe you just didn't have your game in order, or he didn't have his in order and, therefore, marriage didn't seem right.
2007-01-09 00:10:50 · answer #1 · answered by rex_razor69 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have a serious talk with him about why you want to get married. Guys don't intuitively think about marriage - he has to know that it's important to you. He's dragging his feet because you've already given him everything he'd get in a marriage (i.e. living together, kids, etc...). Let him know that you're happy with him and want to take this next step together. If he loves you and knows that this is important to you, he'll propose. If he says he doesn't want to or makes you feel crazy - you have your answer. He's not going to do it. You'll have to evaluate whether or not you're willing to stay with him unmarried. If you truly want marriage - you might have to find it elsewhere. DO NOT have another baby with this man until you have a marriage certificate in your hands. If you give him a rational justification as to why you'd like to be married, my guess is that he'll pop the question. If he's not the romantic type, let him know that you just want him. Not a dramatic proposal. Not a giant rock. Not a huge blow out wedding. Just him. Are you willing to do it JOP style? See if he's willing to go down to the courthouse. Is it the actual wedding that he's dreading? Or is it the commitment involved in marriage... because if it's the latter - that spells problems... Good luck. You sound like a nice person who's asking for something that's more than reasonable.
2016-05-22 22:29:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the love of seven years is really quite good if it has been good years !!! I think in this day and age even living in a defacto relationship for seven years is good !! but if he has a very good reason for non marriage and then that is his right and opinion !!
if you both are so in love well who cares about marriage then you may have done the wrong thing !! just follow your heart and go with it !! some people stay in relationships for far longer and the marriage word does not evan enter into it !!!
both yours and his reasons are valid !! there must be a compromise some where !!! { sorry don,t have a solution }
hope this has been of some help !!
just some friendly advice
cowboy5
2007-01-09 00:20:44 · answer #3 · answered by cowboy5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are someone who KNOWS they need the commitment of marriage then yes,,you did right,,it isnt something that goes away just because your partner says they dont want to wed,,it eats at you and you wonder why,,even if you truly believe they are the one for you BUT they cannot agree to marriage it wont make the decision any easier,,you can live without it as many do or you have to get married,,it is a personal thing to you and no one can say you are right or wrong,,it isnt them sat at home wondering if you will ever have someone say 'i do' to you,,is it! 7 years is plenty of time to know if you love someone enough to say yes but a long time also to worry if you are the one waiting.
2007-01-09 00:16:53 · answer #4 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7 years is a long time i agree but maybe he isn't ready to commit to marriage yet talk to him ask him y he opposed it then ull know 4 sure if u did the right thing
2007-01-09 00:10:07 · answer #5 · answered by Joshua H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is the huge deal about a piece of paper that only makes lawyers money
you dont need to get married for someone to care about you for a lifetime
as long as you complete each other and respect each other
i know ppl who have lived un married for 20-30 + yrs and they are very happy together
2007-01-09 00:13:09 · answer #6 · answered by elite_women_rule_the_rock 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, sometimes it takes a little longer for the one you love to propose because he may not know what to say! He might be scared. You also have to think about you. so do you think you did the right thing? Think about it....
2007-01-09 00:13:05 · answer #7 · answered by Ctahysi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that depends on prior discussions. if you told him outright that you wanted to get married and he didn't verbally oppose, then yes you did the right thing. but, if he had stated that he did not want to get married in the future, and you simply thought that you could change his mind... then you don't really have a leg to stand on. can't you still love eachother without signing a piece of paper? if not, then i guess you still did the right thing for you.
2007-01-09 00:14:31 · answer #8 · answered by hunting wabbit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you did, for you.
There is a second part.
Find a good man who does want to get married.
Visit different churches and help out.
Volunteering is where quality people are found.
http://www.volunteermatch.org
If you don't find a new squeeze, you will go back to the old one. Give the new one a chance.
2007-01-09 00:13:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess only you can answer that.....if you loved each other, that is sad but if you want marriage and he is opposed, I guess you did the right thing...good luck
2007-01-09 00:11:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋