This girl is sweet but she's just too much. She's very high maintanace and always wants hugs,almost continuously tapping my arm with her finger,always need some kind of attnetion or wants something. I cant breathe. I want to be friendly,she's a good kid. So,any advice on setting her straight the first time I tell her,without ending up snapping at her. Which I havent yet but its like dealing with a princess.
2007-01-08 23:56:50 · 21 answers · asked by TrofyWife 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Buttersca...
I DO hug her ALOT. But I have other things I need to do. Why must I hug her evry 5 minutes she's at my house.
2007-01-09 00:02:02 · update #1
ITS NOT MY CHILD,ITS MY DAUGHTERS FRIEND. ITS NICE GIVING HER HUGS,BUT TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING GETS ANNOYING
2007-01-09 00:10:24 · update #2
It sounds like she doesn't have a mom like you who pays attention to her. Just try to be nice and if it is really hard to deal with her, then limit the time she spends at your house. Children are very impressionable at this age and if you are mean to her, it could stay with her forever and make her even more clingy.
2007-01-09 00:01:17 · answer #1 · answered by steffers4979 4 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Why not figure out things for all three of you to do and limit the time she spends at your house. Your daughter will end up being hurt if she thinks you love her more then her...even if she hasn't said anything...she may start to think that. Make some cookies and let them decorate them...then send her along home to show her "mommy". Or head outside to the playground or make puzzles. Find something all three of you can do so your own daughter won't feel left out. This happened to me when my son had a friend over, and my son went running into his room after a bit because the little boy would rather be with me. I'd say limit the time with this little girl if you can and talk with her mom too, if at all possible. This little girl needs love and she should be getting it from her mom, not so much you. You've got enough to deal with keeping your own little girl happy and loved. You're nice to have extra to spread around, but somethings gotta give. Wish you the best.
2007-01-09 08:10:57 · answer #2 · answered by babbles 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that kid must be starving for affection and attention. I think it would drive me crazy too. A couple hugs are great but you need some personal space. Maybe you can very mildly say Gee, if the girls are all done playing and just want to sit with you maybe it's time for her to go home. Either that or you can plan some activities for them to do together that will not involve you...board games and puzzles to do or play-doh or something that will get her attention diverted from you to playing with your daughter. You know keep them busy to keep her away...it is what she's there for after all!
2007-01-09 11:00:58 · answer #3 · answered by Sylvia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that her own mother is not as outwardly loving as she needs, so make sure that if/when you cut off the hugginess, you aren't just becoming another adult in her life who rejects her outward displays of affection. Since your daughters are friends, I would suggest you talk to the mother first. The little girl is 5-years-old, and her mother should be aware of what she does and the effect it has on other people. Try to find a way to bring up the conversation in a non-confrontational way. If you don't know that you can, try to talk to the girls' teacher or a mutual friend to be a sort of liason. Tact is a pretty big thing here, and since the 5-year-old's actions are annoying you this much, it's probably something you'll have to work very hard at to achieve, but I think it would be the best thing.
It could be that, when you talk to the mother, she understands completely what you're feeling. My 5-year-old son had this thing for a long time where he was constantly saying "I love you" in this sad depressing little voice, and we got to worrying that everyone who knew him would think he never hears it from us (and he does). We finally ended up talking to him about the appropriate way to say it (we say it "happy" because we're happy that we love each other), and it actually cured him of needing to hear it from others constantly for some reason. *shrug* I don't know that I would have liked someone else getting involved in the correcting of my son, though.
If you must say something, try to explain to the little girl about personal space. Tell her you like getting hugs, but you're not like her and don't necessarily like getting hugs all the time, but you like giving/getting compliments or help or smiling at each other or something like that. Maybe if you let her know it's not about her, it's about the hugs, it will be easier.
I still think you should talk to the mother or someone who could serve as a go-between for you and the mother before you talk to the child. I would both want to know if my child was annoying the crap out of someone, and would want to be the one to talk to them about it.
2007-01-09 09:43:48 · answer #4 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 7 year old nephew, my 7 year old daughter's best friend, who is the same way. He was the 'bonus baby' in their household and doesn't get all the attention that his sibs did when they were young. Yea, its annoying and feels kinda wierd to have someone elses' kid hanging on you all the time, but I had to learn that this is my daughter's best friend, and I want him to be happy almost as much as i want her to be. So I try to give the hug when I can, i try to remember to compliment him when ever I compliment her, and try to treat him, within reason, just like I treat her. I still need to work on some things, but I can see his behavior getting more normal every time he comes over. I think he'll grow out of it eventually.
Really not much you can do, Kids are going to be kids. You can only try to make adjustments to yourself to make yourself more comfortable with the situation. Some kids are just like that.
2007-01-09 08:49:26 · answer #5 · answered by michaelsmaniacal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its amazing to me how many people dont actually read the question. OK I think you should keep her busy, have a bunch of things for her and your daughter to do, playdoh, legos. games, playing dress up... sounds to me like the poor girl doesn't get enough attention at home. maybe tell her something weird like you can only give her 5 hugs a day. or say 'sweetie I'm really busy right now could you hug (your daughter) or a stuffed animal'
2007-01-09 09:19:35 · answer #6 · answered by Olivia's Mama 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's good that you do should her some affection. Maybe she is doing this because she sees your daughter hugging you and she feels that she wants to do the same. If it still is just too much try limiting your daughters play time with her of find things that will keep the occupied.
2007-01-09 09:02:38 · answer #7 · answered by Cas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Giving your child all the affection they want or need is not a bad thing. I have an 11 year old that will still hug & kiss me in public around his friends, and says if not hollers "I love you mom" in a crowd! Feel fortunate that your child loves you like she does. Because all too quickly that moment will be gone! Enjoy it while it lasts.
There are times & places for everything, just tell her nicely that you need your space if necessary. And if you are feeling overwhelmed at times, lock yourself in a room for a breather! Dont punish her for just wanting all your time, its what kids do best. My 41/2 year old son is the same way somedays. But he just wants something right then and there, and hounds me till I do what he wants. When this happens for objects I firmly warn him that if he asks again I will not allow him to have what he is wanting. And I FOLLOW THRU WITH IT! But then again thats only when he wants something other then my love and affection.
2007-01-09 08:08:05 · answer #8 · answered by ,,!,,baddest~lil~b!tch,,!,, 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My first thought is that she may not be getting much attention at home, so since you are nice to her she gets the attention from you. You can be friendly, but put your foot down. Just tell her you want some adult time to do the things that you need to do. If she needs extra attention maybe she can rely on your daughter for it. afterall, she is in your home visiting your daughter.
2007-01-13 04:58:50 · answer #9 · answered by Terry Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child should be loved and due attention should be given. if your schedule is in trouble then you must explain to her that you have something to do in a way that she will still feel loved, then divert her attention into something else. give her a book to read. I suggest give her something like the Wide Eye Learning Program. Its a Beginners guide to learning. everything is there to catch her attention.
2007-01-09 08:12:41 · answer #10 · answered by franz lomas-e 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her like a parent...not a kid trying to make a sense to the parents. Now she's only five just wait til she gets sweet sixteen, you'll be her chauffer to drives her around...its your kid not your Mom..set some ground rules now while you can..don't be too strict though..she's only five but start training her now like in military things before she's realized what's going on...
2007-01-09 08:10:41 · answer #11 · answered by MINH H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋