I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year and he still sees alot of his old social circle which includes his Ex and lots of other couples that they were friends with before splitting up. They play on the same sports team. I understand that he still wants to see them and don't stop him or make a fuss because I know he loves me not her. Recently though I have started to wonder why he hasn't introduced me to any of that particular social group ye. We got together very soon after their split and I appreciated that he wouldn't want to "rub her nose in it" by parading me around in front of her, but a year on I feel it's time they all got used to the idea that he's moved on. I suggested that he invite me along next time they get together, and he's said the reason he hasn't before now is that they are very clicky and he is worried that I will feel uncomfortable around them. He has agreed that I will come along next time but I still feel funny about the whole thing. Any Advice?
2007-01-08 23:13:26 · 21 answers · asked by L x 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i totally understand your feelings here. if he hadn't been so intent on socialising with this group alone, you may never have thought of this as a problem! i hardly think going out for a night with his friends together would be "rubbing her nose in it." he should be more concerned about how it must make you feel to be excluded from this important part of his social life! that said, he has agreed that you should meet them next time, albet under duress,so do it! you will feel slightly out of place to start with, but anyone would in that situation.if you dont get on with them, you tried your best, and anyway, you might find them hideously boring! why not try to get involved in some things together and maybe find a whole new group of friends you can both get on with? good luck and i hope it works out for you.
2007-01-09 00:02:39 · answer #1 · answered by joanne f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just go along and be yourself. Its the same as meeting any new group of people, some will probably be receptive to you and others more standoffish. If they are really his friends they will make an effort to make you feel welcome simply because they care about him. I think that since he has agreed that you should come along next time that you shouldnt worry too much about the ex situation or he would make excuses to not take you. And anyway as he is introducing you into a new group of people then it is up to him to make sure it is as painless as possible for you.
2007-01-08 23:20:01 · answer #2 · answered by BluesPoint_98 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alot of guys still talk to their ex's... I'm one of them. The new girlfriend never likes it or understands why but it's simply the fact that it was someone that I/he was with and cared about alot and isnt' going to just cut that person out of their life because they didn't make it as a couple. G/f and ex's getting together is a BAD THING. It never works out for the good. The ex sometimes tries to sabotage the current relationship even tho she seems nice and all and you can't even tell she's doing it... but she is. I'd say going to meet the ex's is walking on dangerout ground... watch your step and don't get sucked in by anything they say.
2007-01-08 23:19:19 · answer #3 · answered by Somebuddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him the benefit of the doubt to you meeting up with them next time and decide on what you really want, do you want to meet up with them or not because on the one hand you seem keen and on the other you seem hesitant.If you do get to meet them just be yourself don't worry about what they think, although sorry to say your boyfriend may be being honest with you but he is not really making any extra efforts to make you feel comfortable when you do meet them or not.whether if the group is clicky or not he has to make the effort to make you feel part of the so called "click".
Although you both seem quite close i would also strongly encourage to get some outside interests of your own and if you do already then build on these outside interests.Keep on doin what makes you happy also so that you have things to look forward to and it may also help to take your mind off your current but solvable situation.
Good luck with that
2007-01-08 23:25:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
till you've little ones jointly or were associates in the previous beginning a romantic courting, i doesn't advise it. i don't have journey in staying associates with an ex, because i'm no longer for it. You had historic previous with this human being- bodily and emotionally and all that junk receives contained in the way even as attempting to grow to be platonic. there is continuously someone who nonetheless have emotions for the different and get extremely burned even as finding out they moved to someone new. Then that new human being may get somewhat jealous because you befriended an ex. it truly is all complicated; your love courting with that human being already went to crap and now you're construction even more effective crap even as attempting to stay associates. i might want to assert commence new and sparkling and go away the ex the position they belong, contained in the previous. some human beings would argue that he/she become once portion of their lives and it isn't some thing to eliminate extremely yet how are you going to likely flow on even as they nonetheless on your life? The ex served a objective and for my section, shouldn't stick round by any ability in any respect.
2016-12-28 12:32:46 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/JzqIQ
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-29 22:30:54 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go along and see how you feel when you are with the group.
Unfortunately when you tend to have a feeling about these type of things, you tend to be right.
Good luck
2007-01-08 23:19:51 · answer #7 · answered by lucyt20 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably right. Maybe he is afraid his friends will make you uncomfortable by talking about the past and the ex. Think positive. He's probably doing you a favor!
2007-01-08 23:19:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel funny....if he doesn't bring you along and support you in front of his "clicky" friends...including his ex, then you know that its time to move on and he has been a prick.
2007-01-08 23:18:00 · answer #9 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone who doesn't have old baggage. People need to go back to getting married and staying married. I think that once a marriage breaks up, there should ALMOST be a law where they're not allowed to date again.
2007-01-08 23:17:45 · answer #10 · answered by Joe C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋