My husband has been abusing me and cheating on me. Im 9 months pregnant and need to get away from him. Who all can I notify of his behavior? (besides the police, I need to inform military)
He also told me he hopes me and the baby die so he can get $100,000 insurance money that he has on me through the marines AND he doesnt want to go to Iraq next month so hes using my pregnancy to his advantage.
2007-01-08 23:10:43 · 25 answers · asked by chan 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
He is physically, mentally and emotionally abusing me.
2007-01-08 23:21:36 · update #1
I have been trying to wait until I give birth to my baby to leave but he started beating me last night. I cant stay here any longer. Its not safe for me or my baby
2007-01-08 23:23:21 · update #2
Call his CO. (Commanding Officer) I don't know what rank that would be among Marines. For the army it's usually a Colonel or a Lt. Colonel.
If you need to, call the JAG, but only after you try the CO and he/she doesn't help.
2007-01-08 23:25:14 · answer #1 · answered by Linea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does everyone say contact JAG? They can't do anything.
First, leave. Go to the hospital and have your injuries recorded. Then contact the civilian and military law enforcement agencies. They will notify his command of the situation. Next, contact a divorce lawyer, and file a restraining order. Last, but not least, seek some help from agencies that deal with abuse. You will need to talk to someone to help you past this issue. Make sure that you can get home (Mom and Dad).
Good luck
2007-01-09 02:08:11 · answer #2 · answered by My world 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the domestic abuse hotline number and they will direct you to a local shelter or come and get you and help you to take steps from there. You may need to be in a shelter further away than the same city. The local district attorney's office is the first place to go and file a report immediately with them. He will be arrested for pummeling you and your baby and the threats he made on your life and the babies for monetary gain. You will write that in your own writing. Make sure you file reports at both the police department and the D.A.'s offices so they don't get their wires crossed and say "Oops, we never got it from the police." A call to the police should suffice. Have someone close to you take photos of any bruising while it is present with a quality camera. Keep several copies hidden. Prepare an emergency kit consisting of your legal papers, keys, some money, a cell phone and charger, and emergency numbers. Again, these agencies will tell you where to go from there. They've dealt with policemen, judges, lawyers, etc. who have practiced domestic violence so just because he's in the military doesn't mean he can get by with it. God be with you until you get to safety. It will never stop unless you leave or unless he kills or maims you or unless both of you give your lives to Jesus Christ. Until that happens, run for your life and pray while you run.
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
http://www.ndvh.org/
2007-01-08 23:40:53 · answer #3 · answered by Lovin' Mary's Lamb 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The only way he can use the baby to his advantage to not go to Iraq is by you divorcing him and giving him full custody of the child and then he can get out on the Family Care Plan. Dont do this. Notify his chain of Command IMMEDIATLY they will not let this go on I promise. They will make him stay in the baracks. Also tell your Doctors IMMEDIATLY and they will report him. DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOUR CHILD. Also telll the docs immediatly or a nurse so he cant come near you or the baby during delivery and they will notify his chain of command. Trust me they will not allow this to go on. You have more power with him in the military than you would if he wasnt. Also know he has to give you a power of attorney when he leaves and he has to make sure you have access to money when he leaves. If he doesnt make sure the money thing will be taken care of through his chain of command before he leaves. My advice to you is dont let him go to the delivery with you. Also if hes standing over you and you need to tell a nurse just point to a bruise carefully and look at her she will know.
2007-01-09 02:01:08 · answer #4 · answered by lilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get on the website for the base you are at and look up the chaplain. Here we have an on-call pager number for the chaplain, so you can reach someone 24 hours a day. The chaplian will be able to direct you to the resources you need to get out of that house and protect you from your husband.
I would also call his chain of command and let them know what is going on, but not until you are safely away from him. He's probably going to be really mad you told them, so I'd be as far away as possible when he finds out. The military (at least the Army, and I'm sure all of the branches), takes domestic abuse very seriously. In the Army domestic abuse can kill a soldier's career. His chain of command will likely have steps that they want to take not only to protect you, but also to punish him.
If worse comes to worse, you can always call the MPs (or the local police if you live off-base). They probably can't do much unless he is actually hitting you when you call them, but they may be able to refer you to the proper resources. If you don't think you will be able to get away soon, have a close neighbor keep an ear out and call the police as soon as he/she hears anything.
For your safety and that of your unborn child please get away from him as soon as possible. The military does have resources for you, you just have to find them.
2007-01-09 00:37:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
With all due respect Nikki, your marriage, as you say so yourself, is in trouble , getting your husband forced into rehab is hardly going to make things better. However, having just read your question again I think you want to remain anonymous, so to speak, in the whole process so he will believe it is his superiors who are doing the pushing, am I right? If this is the case then I'd say go for it but, and this is a big but, you can't force someone to give up alcohol and it sounds like your husband is not ready to admit he has a problem. He may well do the rehab if forced, but don't expect him to stay off the drink. You can't change anybody but yourself. All the best.
2016-05-22 22:22:31 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off.....if he is making such remarks.......tape the conversations (that way you will have proof). As far as the abuse you need to call the local authorities, if you live off post local sheriff or police or if you live on post call the MP.
Also notify his chain of cmd of what is going on. As an MP in the Army I have delt with cases where the units (most of the times) turn a blind eye to domestic violence, and the reason being is that if they prosecute that soldier, he cannot hold a weapon due to the Laudenbrg act.
That act prohibits ANY military or law enforcement individual from carrying a weapon if they are convicted of domestic violence, hence most unit do a "written reprimand" and consider it done vs a full Court Martial.
My suggestion to you is that you file for domestic abuse and also for divorce, pack your bags and Leave.
The longer you stay in that unhelathy relationship the longer you are jeopardizing you and your unborn child.
Best of Luck
2007-01-08 23:27:11 · answer #7 · answered by spanishflyin_tx 3 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you can contact the military police or the JAG office. For the best resutls, though, contact his command.
If he is enlisted, contact his 1st. Sgt. I will guarantee they set him straight fairly quickly.
If he is an officer, go through the commanding officer, should get the same results as above.
Either way, if they do not set him straight, they will ensure your safety first and foremost.
While going through his command may not end up with "charges" or things like the JAG would do, the command has many creative ways for handling this guy. He will wish he had not done what he did when they are threw with him.
2007-01-09 01:09:04 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please get help now!
There are many options. You can go to the Hospital/Clinic on base. They will want to look over you to make sure you and the baby are safe. This is where I would go first. Make sure the baby is safe. The Chaplain can help. Most people think he only does worship but he also does counseling. Get in contact with anyone at the base. I know the Marine Corps has Unit Victim Advocates UVA's. Please call someone. The more people that know the better. Someone will help. There are also help lines.
1-800-342-9647 Here is the number to Military OneSource. They will put you in contact with someone who will help.
or here is the internet adress. http://www.militaryonesource.com/skins/MOS/home.aspx
Please get help as soon as possible!
2007-01-08 23:44:31 · answer #9 · answered by Vinson 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call his First Sergeant. Call the installation Commander. Call the MP's. The MP's will file the report and tell you what direction you need to go. The Commander won't like that one of his troops isnt being responsible to his family, and will get you results. And the First Sergeant, will be the first to get his attention..
Good luck, and visit the military onesource website..
2007-01-09 01:39:47 · answer #10 · answered by Shawn M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋