I know, I know, someone, many ones, have posted this before, but they are not me and I need some sympathy. I'm in love with a girl that I see every night and we hang out plutonically all the time, I even hang out with her family. We started just hangin out as friends, but I started falling for her, and now everything about her is magic from her pink New Balance sneakers to the way she sticks a pen in her hair to tie her hair back. She's recently single, but probably not for long because I can see the guys lining up and knocking on the door to get in. I truly enjoy being her friend and feel that letting her know I am crazy about her will alter or end our relationship. I wonder if I should just suffer in silence just to have her in my life, I think I could, but I know when she has her next boyfriend, I will die inside. Can anyone lend advice? Thanks.
2007-01-08 23:09:17 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am 28 and she is 25, so we are all grown ups. I've known her for over a year, but only recently started really hangin out with her (since she broke up with her BF) like 2 months ago.
2007-01-08 23:38:55 · update #1
This is a tough one! Part of me wants to say you'll never know if you dont talk to her about it. Yet if shes not interested it could damage your relationship. So heres my gut feeling...right now your hurting inside...talk to her..tell her you like her & want to try a few dates with her to see where things go. If shes not interested then you have your answer and that will hurt, but your hurting anyway. Maybe this will allow closure for you and you can move on and find your own happiness. Good Luck!
2007-01-08 23:17:11 · answer #1 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you're quite smitten with her.
I'm afraid your platonic friendship has already been altered. You don't give any details about how old you both are or how long you've known each other so it's a bit hard to say very much. But if you are as close as you say, I think you should tell her how you feel about her.
If you don't, and she starts going out with someone else you'll be resentful and you won't be able to be her friend anyway.
If you do she will either:
a) say she feels the same way - HURRAY!
b) let you down easy and say she wants to be your friend the way you have already been. You may be able to salvage your friendship if you both want.
c) get angry - but probably because she's confused and doesn't want to lose your friendship the way it's been. You should just tell her that it's your feelings and you can't help but feel them and you ARE concerned about losing your friendship, too.
Then see where it all goes.
Good luck.
2007-01-09 07:23:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, you have my sympathy, I'm just as intense as you! But be careful, those feelings can overwhelm you so that you don't really see the person. Try to see her without the halo...
But if she's been your friend, she's probably a good choice for you. Don't be scared to take the first step, girls love being chased! Take small steps, but do it with conviction.
Every time I've been involved with someone, they've taken the first steps while I, in fact, didn't even like them much at first. And in each case he persisted and I ended up falling head over heals in love...
2007-01-09 07:21:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her how you feel. If you prefer, go slowly, give her some hints or clues about what you feel for her if you are so afraid to ruin a friendship. For what you say, it does sounds like the girl is a true friend.
Make sure to talk to her somewhere where the two of you can't be interrupted, especially by other guys.
2007-01-09 07:21:18 · answer #4 · answered by David G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
show your real feeling, you are sad now because this things are bothering you right? she is your best friend and i guess she will noticed that you are not feeling good lately, and i guess she will ask and i think thats the time that you will tell her that you have a problem, a problem that you are afraid you two will be changed if she knows you have feelings for her, i know you only want the best for your loved one but you will take the risk here of possible she will change her friendship to you or will try to make this relationship blossom into more than friendship, i guess you have just be be you and how it really the inside of you to outside you. she will notice i guess. just be real.
2007-01-09 07:15:59 · answer #5 · answered by blue violet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to use tactics. That is to inform you care for her but not you've fallen into. This will save you embarrassment and keep from her disrespecting you. Then just watch her reaction/feedback, which mustn't be instant. If positive, you fear nothing and may proceed for further in-depth and intimate issues. Anyhow, you should do something but not watch out while others are proceeding (dating, expressing and wining her heart). In this way you are entertainer not lover.
2007-01-09 07:28:57 · answer #6 · answered by Reer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in the right moment, tell her. You never know she could feel the same way about you. You cant let yourself hurt for the fear of what might happen, then, or tomorrow, or next week. You have to live everyday as it comes, and you should want to make yourself happy and not hurt. But tell her, you never know what might happen!!!!!!
2007-01-09 07:16:29 · answer #7 · answered by pretty_grl_321 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is possible to date your best friend, hell, i married mine. starting out as friends is always the best way to begin a relationship. just see if she feels the same way before you try anything. that way if she doesnt feel the same way, you save your self the crushed ego. if you have any mutual friends ask them to pry a little for you.
good luck
2007-01-09 07:14:05 · answer #8 · answered by Sara 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dude...grow a couple! Ask her out and if it doesn't work move on. Stop acting like a chick! If you act like a wuss, you'll be treated like one. She'll never respect that, and neither will any other woman of quality.
2007-01-09 07:16:05 · answer #9 · answered by brainiac 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is it so akward to tell her how you feel? Or is she not even thinking about you as a boyfriend?
2007-01-09 07:13:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋