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Question

I've been depressed for as long as I can remember. I grew up in a very abusive household with drugs and alchohal. I'm 20 years old now and I have to say it's affected my life. I gave birth to my beautiful daughter 4 months ago, and I havent seen any changes. I still scream at people. I also tend to be extremly aggressive and I'm constantly defending myself for nothing. Before I got pregnant I started having intrusive thoughts, that bothered my badly. I'm not violent tword my daughter, and I would never let anything bad happen to her, but I'm worried about myself. I have panic attacks, I think about things that bother me, I also have low self esteem and I constantly complain about it. Most days I can't get out and get dressed, and all I want to do Is sleep. What should be done? I don't want to blame this on my childhood. Does anyone know what I can do to make things better? I want to feel better! Ugh...I feel stupid even asking.

Answer 1

You sound like you're suffering from clinical depression, perhaps complicated by post-partum depression as well. It sounds also like you have many, many issues to deal with, considering your childhood. I advise you to see a psychiatrist or psychologist as soon as possible. You don't mention where you live but most larger cities have free services available to help you. Try to avoid ministers if you can, their viewpoints are limited and so is the help they can offer. Call a doctor or clinic today. There is no reason for you to suffer. Hope all goes well and you feel better soon.

Answer 2

My goodness! Don't you feel bad for asking!!! Hopefully this is a really good first step.
I think it is a brave thing to admit that maybe the way you grew up has had an effect on you. Even more importantly, now you are a mum you might be seeing that the way you feel and behave is going to have an impact on your daughter. You wouldn't want her growing up to feel as you do, would you? Maybe you expected that becoming a parent would suddenly bring out your gentle nurturing side. It would be nice but in my experience when you become a parent it often aggravates the problems we have. Also remember you are quite young and no-one finds it easy to deal with serious issues alone.

Please seek out some professional help. This is a really good time to look at how your childhood has affected you, before you have a negative impact on your baby. Speak to a Doctor and see if you can be linked to some counseling. Often new mums are able to access more help if they ask.

Good luck. I hope you do get some help and are able to move forward in a positive way. Congratulations on your daughter!

Answer 3

human beings get depressed for various of causes. some are basically because of modern life circumstances the position they have allowed themselves to be overextended or the lose of a figure, better 0.5, toddler, or some different person very on the fringe of them. different causes are physiological/neurological. Many chronically depressed human beings have chemical deficiancies or excesses in neurotrans mitters. those can frequently be treated with drugs. remedy also helps by way of reteaching the pearson to seem at and aproach life from a diverse attitude. It appears like your chum may be in a non everlasting difficulty the position she basically needs to releive the rigidity that life is utilizing because of the options she has made. if so some counseling is rather adventagous no matter if that be one-on-one or a set putting. Having associates she will be able to believe and assume will teach to be yet another enormous help. good success and desire the right for you both.

Answer 4

You should definitely seek help- what you're feeling is not normal or healthy. Your upbringing has a significant part to play in that.

You shouldn't feel stupid asking this- there are a lot of people out there with the same or similar problems. I have struggled with depression and can empathize with you.

You ought to speak with a counselor, and also your doctor. You may need medication, and it's okay if you do. Don't shut yourself off from the world, and try to be kind to yourself. Don't do anything you don't feel you want to do.

Answer 5

Early verbal abuses and other kind of abuses results in more adult depression.

The enormous success of cognitive behavioral therapy as a treatment for depressive and anxiety disorders has made it quite clear that the way people think about themselves – the way they silently talk to themselves and make explanations for the things that happen to them - has an enormous bearing on how vulnerable or resistant to depressions and anxiety disorders. People who habitually tend to blame themselves when things go wrong, or who tend to focus on the negative aspects of events rather than on the positive events are far more likely to become depressed or to suffer from anxiety problems than are people with more positive thought habits.

I would advise you to visit the following link which has so many techniques given to overcome depression - but IT IS YOU AND ONLY YOU WHO NEEDS TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND TO COME OUT OF THIS SITUATION.

http://www.lifepositive.com/Mind/psychology/stress/symptoms-of-depression.asp

This is the situation wherein you need to ask for help and you should not be feeling stupid about it. The more you talk about it the more soon you will be able to overcome the problem you have.

Good luck.

Answer 6

you have quite a few things to be proud of and yet you dont even realise it, i would say that the fact that you do not want to blame your problems on your childhood shows that you are actually a responsible person who does not want to wallow in self pity, this is a good thing, but you have to accept that what we see and experience as a child does effect us and you have to now deal with this.
You defend yourself and are aggressive probably because there may be a measure of truth in what people say, but you do not want to hear it! or maybe you do not feel able to explain your actions ( sometimes other peiople use big words or try to put us down, and that can make us defensive.
Just because you have a beautiful daughter, the problems do not just dissapear, in fact they may seem worse, because you are being hard on yourself, and expecting perfection.
The best thing you can do for your daughter is get help, happy mum is happy child, and we do not want your daughter to grow up and be writing a similar question to yours on yahoo answers!
I know this may sound scary to you, and you may not want to do it, but if i was you i would contact social services, i know from experience that if you go to them and need help, they WILL help you, your daughter will NOT be taken away because you have a few problems, but they can offer you so much help. support and information are what you need.
Next stop is doctorsville, you sound like you could benefit from talking to your g.p, they will tell you if you need help for depression, or they can arrange for you to get counselling etc.

Force yourself to get dressed and walk your daughter to the shops every day, even if you do not feel like it, get out and walk. This is proven to help, you will feel better, you will see other humans and the excercise will release chemicals to your brain to make you feel better.

If you have friends or family, tell them how you feel, lean on them, if you do not have a support network socioal services can help you with this, and help you to make new friends.
Remember, no one is perfect, and you are young and so is your child, give yourself time to adjust and do not be afraid to ASK for help, when you get this help you might find that this anger and frustration dissapears, if it does not then you can get help with that too.
Do not feel stupid, i have been in a similar place to you, and i survived, you will too.
I hope you find the answers you need, and if you wish to email me, that is fine, i am here.

There are plenty of helping hands out there.......you just have to grab one!

Answer 7

Take a deep breath. Slowly. Hold it for a moment, and think about tranquility and peace. Ignore the negative thoughts put out by your "committee."

Others, including myself, have been in similar situations. Mostly I suffered from a condition known as "terminal uniqueness"

I thought I was the only one with problems like these. Also, I didn't talk about the problems so that I could find out that others shared the same feelings.

You are neither unique nor alone. Get whatever support you can and seek medical / professional help (not a put down, that's what the doctors DO for chrissakes...)

And look for support groups. They can be fun.

Answer 8

It can't be said too many times, get a doctor! Depression and chronic anxiety are real medical conditions that can be treated. There are also tons of resources on the web for people suffering from deppression. Best wishes.

Answer 9

Don't feel stupid! Sounds like you are depressed AND have post partum depression. Both require a doctor's care. I too have been depressed most of my life. When I had my daughter, I got post partum depression and although I never hurt her, it kept me from bonding with her. Now she's 31 and we don't even talk! I don't want this to happen to anyone else! See your doctor!

Answer 10

Your a Mother now. Time to devote your time to your daughter. Be the best Mom you can be. Give your daughter a better upbringing than you had. Get up, get dressed, dress the baby and go somewhere to show her off. Peole always make comments at babies.