how do you deal with a father who wont leave you alone?

Question

my mum and father split up almost 7 years ago and me and my sister got stuck in the middle . my youger sister was to young to understand wat was happening . my father us to beat me, my older brother and my mum . now i hate him . he keeps emailing me and i keep telling him to stop and go away but he wont listen . he keeps saying ive changed . but for the five years ive been living in ireland tere has been no presents or anything . my sister gets upset and misses him but i dont .I HATE HIM

Answer 1

Tell him if it does not stop you will get a restricting order, and if he does not respect that then you WILL contact the police and have him stopped.

Answer 2

If you really don't want to communicate with him any more why don't you just use block sender?

Not receiving any presents doesn't necesarily mean he doesn't love you.

If you wanted to keep some contact with him say you are closing the current email address and give him an alternative one letting him know you will check for mail only once a month if he wants to stay in touch. Then you can close the alternative email whenever, but keep in mind you might one day regret severing contact with him completely.

Any way perhaps your sister should be the one to maintain contact with him if you feel so strongly against having contact with him yourself.

You do not mention if you have had any contact with your father during the 7 years that your parents have been separated, or if we are talking about your natural father.

If your father has beaten you since your parents have split up then I can understand why you wouldn't want to have any further contact with him.

If however he has tried to maintain contact with you for 5 or 7 years by email even though he has not seen you, I think he must really want to keep in touch and I would guess he cares for you a lot.

In the end the choice is yours, but do think more about it before you decide.

Take care .... With Love and Good Wishes

Answer 3

My mum use to beat me and I never spoke to her for 30yrs I didnot even know she was dead until 4yrs after her death i understand why you feel so much hate for your father because i have felt the same thing myself. I would change my email address for starters that way he cant get in contact with you try and talk to who ever you are now living with about your concerns and see if they can have a word with your father you dont say how old you are if your sister misses him don't you feel guilty because of it you can only feel what affected you not someones elses feelings, good luck i hope you can move on one day

Answer 4

I also experienced something similar but in my case it was and is my step father who took us in when I was 2yrs old. He was extremely abusive and creepy and horrible and til this day I hate him,I'm allowed.
So I got a restraining order against him and took him to court for every wrong doing he did as im sure you would understand I wanted him to recognise and apologise in front of a court of his own peers for what he did to me,also to make sure he doesn't do it to anyone else.I say stand up and fight but legally,I did and I am left alone by him,everyone is different and have a right to handle things differently but to me this was my way and til this day I wouldn't take it back and I don't care what my family thinks because I can sleep at night.good luck to you

Answer 5

change your email address and only give it to the people you trust, if he has your number then block him so he cant call you....if he treated you poorly when you were younger then don't have anything to do with him ever again, he is untrustworthy..you want to forget, not be reminded...tell your sis if she misses him then she's to see him on her own back, but under no account are you going to support her...let it stay in the past and move on hun, you can do this...just block him from contacting you what ever way you can, a leopard NEVER changes it's spots, trust me, i know from experience, if he carries on harassing you, tell the police (only if he is threatening you) they will do something about it....

Answer 6

I wish you could forget your dad for what he did and I don't mean than the fact that you forgive him does not means you have to see him...You can be kind cause you are a lot more intelligent and you don't have to pay with the same coin, probably your dad is having a hard time for what he did. Be just cordial, it will help you to find peace in your heart.

Answer 7

Change your email address. Have you told him that you hated him and to stop harassing you or spoken to your mother about telling him this on your behalf? If he isn't supporting you all then he has no right to have contact with you. Your mother should take responsibility of this situation so why hasn't she. I would not allow anyone to mistreat my children. Not one of them has ever been hit by a man because I told him if he ever hit them I would kill him and he didn't. I'm sorry that you all went through that abuse.

Answer 8

I would never forgive any parent who'd physically beaten/hit me for no other reason than to take out their own anger or frustration. Also they would never be re-entering my life in later years with apologies.

You have to do what you feel is right. You seem level-headed and strong to me. Good luck.

Answer 9

change your email address if he is on broadband block his i p address get him done for harrasment there are prevention laws restraining laws just try the first 2 the move on if they dont work Regards

Answer 10

have you told your mum he is sending you emails,if not let her know,dont even bother reading the emails he sends you, that way he will get the message,you just get on with your life pal hes not worth getting upset over,hope you get this sorted out