Im lost.................i cant do it again.?

Question

I use to be a serious depressed person when i was 15, I got over it, and l feel like I'm at the bottom again right now. I lost 3 of my good friends,I have no job, because no one will hire me (i either have to much refs or not enough) I'm in debt. My family makes fun of my past depression all the time. I feel i'm at the bottom and no way out again. And I tried for 5 yrs to get out, and i did. But now I'm back, and this time I have no one to talk to when i know thats what can help right now . Ive been through this,and I know it's chemical,but this time I can't do it again...I can't go through what ive already gone through.... I can't do it, i won't do it again,

Its like, all I need is someone there. Sounds dumb, but i just want a hug.

Ive done it all before, I cut for 3 yrs,and tried to kill myself 2 times. I lost every single friend I had,and my dad tried to give me away literally. I don't want to have to go through all that again. Im 22 and I've already been through so much,I just want to move on......i don't want to deal with it again...any of it, doctors, ppl looking at me like they pity me.

Answer 1

ok so you have been depressed before, been down the whole medical road and you are right bak where you started....

honestly some familys do suck really badly and the only thing you can do is turn your back and walk away for your own sanity sake...,

as for friends... there are sooooooooo many people who do not have friends... and those who do have one or two... no more.. that's the real truth about friendships... the sappy garbage on television teaches us that absolutely everyone has friends..... and it is a lie... now as much as you feel you need a friend to be there for you the reality is that you dont.... and while you are down ... you aren't going to be much of a friend for anyone.. no judgement intended there simple truth is all...

get your self back on track and somewhere down the line you will learn how to develop strong gradual relationships with other people that feel good for both sides..

dont go through what youve tried that has not worked for you... try something new and different... try doing what I have had to do... it is by no means easy and you will find yourself wandering off track fro time to time... when that happens just draw your attention back to what it is you are doing for yourself...

I suffer from depression, anxiety, panic attacks and stress....

I can not take any of the medicines that doctors prescribe for these conditions they tend to make me worse... so I have had to do the following to keep myself on an even keel...

Find a good counsellor attend sessions weekly for three months... take a break then do it again... repeat as long as is required..

Exercise: This is not the 101 situps ten mile run kind of exercise..... Just simple exercise like walking swimming or cycling for at least 20 minutes each day... do this very day... do not push yourself too hard at first walk powerfully enough to start tofeel your heart working and then slow dow a bit then build it up again..Do not hurt yourself or push yourself too hard or fast...be kind to yourself even if it takes you a year before you can exercise steadily for 20 minutes that doesnt matter it is just important that you do this daily and do it with gentleness towards yourself.

Eat fresh foods as much as possible. include grains fruit and vegetables in every meal... be creative when preparing meals and use a lot of colourful foods to make eating a true pleasure. Prepare and eat your food while listening to some pleasant music. Make eating a wonderful gift to yourself.

Drink more water: Water flushes toxins out of your system drink lots of water...

Take up a creative pursuit: this can be gardening (nothing fancy here stick a geranium cutting in some dirt and add water) drawing ( a pencil and paper and away you go) music make music with whatever you have, paint, write anything that gets the creative energy flowing,

Learn to pray, meditate and or contemplate.... there is lots of info on the net about prayer and meditation and contemplation means just being quiet with yourself... noticing little things, allowing your mind to gently explore things..

Join an interest group... real time gatherings are best rather than net groups... spending time with other people who have a common interest is an easier way of being with people as the focus is not on you or them but rather on the topic at hand, there are interest groups for many different kinds of interests, lapidary groups (gemstones rocks etc), writers groups, local history groups, motor cycle clubs, land regeneration groups, photography groups, parenting groups, walking groups (bush walking, power walking), pet care groups, charitable groups and organisations. Find a group that you share an iterest with and get involved.

Listen to music that you enjoy and explore a whole range of music like indigenous music from various countries, classical music, opera, rock, blues, listen to many kinds of music and build your cd collection.

Spend time sitting on the ground leaning against a big old tree.. feel the earth supporting your weight, notice how the tree supports your spine allow yourself to feel safe and supported by the universe.

Spend time outdoors in the sunshine and fresh air... the sun interacts wit your body to create some happy chemicals in your body. The fresh air allows your lungs to breathe in and circulate more oxygen.

Laugh! Get some comedy cds or dvds or go out to comedy shows and funny movies. Buy a good joke book and read it. Learn a new joke each week and share the joke with others. Spend time allowig yourself to build up to a good belly laugh. Hang out with people who are funny.

Keep a daily journal. You dont need to record everything. Just record some of your activities, thoughts and ideas for each day.

BE KIND TO YOURSELF
There is no point in being hard on yourself, being negative about yourself, putting youself down.... trust me there are enough people on the planet who will do that for you so don't you do it too.... Instead find the good things about yourself and remind yourself about all of the good things about you.. When you think of good things about yourself record them in your journal...

You can of course combine several of these things.... be outdoors with a group of people that are exercising and you will achieve several of these points in one go... So don't fret about this list seeming long... just introcude one or two of these things to your daily/weekly routine at a time and get used to doing it... don't make it too hard on yourself it is more important that you do these things than how well you do them... just add one and get used to it then add another...

Best of Luck with it all and I am sure you will find a way that suits you..

OH and YES YOU CAN DO THIS.... with or without that hug from someone else.... and along the way you will find that you begin to not feel quite so much in need..... as you learn to satisfy your own needs for yourself....

if you want someone to chat to just click on my name to the left here and see where it says to email me or message me... I use my regular yahoo name here too... so I am not hard to find..

Answer 2

You need some help. The fact you know the signs and symptoms of your depression is great but because of the chemical problems knowing these wont make it any easier to fight & beat it this time round. See your doctor and talk to them about getting some help - be it through medication or counselling or whatever avenues are available in your area. As a person who has been battling depression since I was a child and who has been medicated on and off for 5 years, I totally understand your feeling like your in a huge hole with no way out. Pay no attention to those who mock and laugh at your past struggles - unless you have been there you just have no clue. If you've suffered and beaten this before you can and will again.

Answer 3

Sending you a big hug (). You can do it sweetie. Don't listen to others who make fun of you. They are truly mean people. You are a wonderful person. You are here to make someone very happy. You do have a way out. When I was your age I went through the same thing only I lost only one good friend to a car accident. For your sake if its chemical see a doctor in a clinic or you can write to me through email on my profile. I'll talk with you. You are a special person, believe it. Trust in God that he will deliever you. He did it for me and at 15 I tried to commit suicide. The doctors don't know how I survived but God does. He saved me because I had things to do, like reassuring you that you loved in His eyes and you need a friend. I've been there, done that. I know the depth of your sorrow. I'll talk to you if you want me to.

Sending you an extra hug.

Answer 4

hi I have been through some really tough times myself. Although I am not comparing myself to you. Just try to take one step at a time contact the places that you are in dept with and let them know whats going in financially this way they won't sent you any nasty letters. Then try to get a job and remember it does not matter where you work at least its money. And most importantly love yourself for who you are and don't let the family bother you prove to them that you are better than what they think. And as for the friends you have lost (you did not mention why) their are so many people in this world and the friends that you make in later life are the one that will be their till the end if you would like to talk any time just email me take it easy.

Answer 5

Call you local Hospital or Or a depression hot line and get into care. get on some med combos that work for you and hun do not take 30 years to tell your family to shut up and go get @@@@ed like I did. Does wonder for the self esteem too. I have to take cymbalta and paxil daily to function.

Oh and HUN HUGS HUGS HUGS

Answer 6

Let me just be real with you. I know how you feel Dear. Sometimes all these rotten things happen to us all at once, and we just don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. A year ago I was so damn depressed that I thought my life was over, I even wanted it to be. I was going to blow my brains out. But I hung in there, it was a long hard road out of Hell, but I made it. I'm so glad that I'm still here, and I'm glad that you are to. If you need to talk, please IM me. I'm here hun. - Voodoo

Answer 7

Swami Sukhabodhananda
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One youngster comes to me very depressed and asks this question "Why is God creating so many difficulties for us? How to handle stress?" I tell this youngster to reflect on this beautiful story:

A man goes to a shop, picks up a beautiful cup and says "my god this cup is so beautiful" and suddenly the cup starts talking to the man. The cup starts saying "O man, I am beautiful right now, but what was the state of my being before the pot-maker made me a beautiful pot?

Before I was sheer mud and the pot-maker pulled me out of the mud from the mother earth and I felt why that pot-maker is so cruel, he has separated me from mother earth. I felt a tremendous pain. And the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then he put me and churned me, when I was churned I felt so giddy, so painful, so stressful, I asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then he put me into a oven and heated me up, I felt completely burnt. There was tremendous pain and I asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" and the pot-maker said, "Just wait."

Then he poured hot paint on me and I felt the fume and the pain, I again asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" and the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then again he put me into an oven and heated it to make me more strong, I felt life is so painful hence pleaded the pot-maker and the pot-maker said, "Just wait." And after that the pot-maker took me to the mirror and said, "Now look at yourself". And surprisingly I found myself so beautiful.

When god gives us lot of trouble, it appears god is very cruel but we need patience and we have to wait. When bad things happen to good people, they become better and not bitter.

So all difficulties are part of a cosmic design to make us really beautiful. We need patience, we need understanding, we need the commitment to go through in a very calm and wise way. So all difficulties are not to tumble us but to humble us.

With this understanding, let us not be against difficulty. Understand difficulty is a part of a purifying process. A purifying process at present which we cannot understand and hence we need faith and we need trust.

Let us understand how to handle stress with this background. You can be affected by stress from two angles. There is an internal stress and there is an external stress. Nobody can avoid stress; one has to only manage stress. Managing stress can be internal and also external.

The internal stress is; your thoughts can create stress, your values can create stress, and your beliefs can create stress, meaning thereby your stress is coming from your mind more from the outer world. Many people suffer not from heart attack - they suffer from thought-attack.

For example, when somebody says you are an idiot, we get so hurt, we get so victimised. My boss has called me an idiot and I am feeling tremendous pain. Now where does this stress come from? If my boss has called me an idiot, I have to ask myself "am I an idiot"?

If I am an idiot nothing to be upset about; and if I am not an idiot, then also nothing to be upset about! It is the perception of the boss. But why do we suffer from that stress? I suffer not because my boss has called me an idiot but because of the thought-attack.

I may say the boss has called me an idiot; therefore I am suffering? It is true that the words are unpleasant. But what hurts is the interpretation of the unpleasant word. The thought in me interprets. That is pain and therefore it becomes pain. Much of our stress is our mind interpreting it as pain. So we suffer from thought-attack more than heart attack.

Answer 8

biggest hug coming.....we all go through it, but it sounds like you have deeper issues. figure those ones out, and see where you need to start to get to "good". been there, done that, and yu WILL get through it.

Answer 9

i'm giving u a big hug. now i'm here also [e-mail]. call 1800 lifenet to help. u willl get thru this.