some one help ...parent problems?

Question

my mom wont let me get a job because we found out i have spina bifida occulta i'm 17 is there any way i can put her mind at ease..and please dont answer this if your going to say some thing like i'm to young to be getting a job or some thing that critisizes the way i live

i forgot to mention before that yes i have had problems with my back i have scoliosis with it and i am homeschooled because i cant carry around books ....i am not immarture i just want to be a little bit independent and well have my own life so i can be my person

Answer 1

Why don't you ask your mother what it is about the condition that worries her? That way you can have an idea about what her objection truly involves, and deal with that. It may be she has valid concerns you haven't thought of, as well as a natural desire to protect you. You are old enough to have a sit down talk with your mother, and have an adult conversation, and that's what you need to do. I assume this was diagnosed by a doctor, and that you recently had the x-rays or MRI that revealed it. You don't say if you were injured, or were having some other problems which required the x-rays to begin with, so I don't know enough to say you are not having any problems or are asymptomatic completely. At any rate, the doctor might be a good person to put all these questions to, so far as what sort of jobs would be good ideas and which you might want to try to avoid. If both you and your mother have this discussion with the doctor, then you could likely set her mind at ease. I don't think you are too young for a job at all, though if you are at school still I think part time is plenty. Your mother's objections might also not have so much to do with the spina bifida, as much as she is concerned about the conflict between your school work, activities and a job's demands added to that. My advice would be to start an adult type conversation with your mother, to see exactly what the problem is, and then seek out the exact information you need to make an informed decision with her.

Answer 2

Are you undergoing treatment for the spina bifida occulta? If so, then are you feeling okay? If you are, then sit down and tell your Mom that you're young and you want to work. Honestly, I don't know many 17 year olds that would want to work after getting a diagnosis like yours, so you must be a strong and decent young lady. I'm very proud of you! Why don't you find a compromise, a job that isn't too taxing on your body, nix the constructions jobs and anything with heavy lifting, and maybe think about an office position or a retail store where you won't be lifting or stocking. Give your Mom a break though, she's probably worried out of her mind for you, her baby, and maybe she's not ready to let you out there into the "real world" quite yet. Good luck!

Answer 3

I just turned 21, so I'm young like you, and still have parent problems. However, I just had a baby four months ago. I haven't had her very long, however, if she had spina bifida occulta, I would be concerned. Even though there is a very slightly increased chance of a slipped disc, very few people with spina bifida occulta will ever have any problems because of it.

How can occult spinal dysraphism affect functioning?
Because the spine and the nerve roots at the site of the lesion are affected, in theory any problem from the waist down can be due to OSD. Depending on the amount of neural involvement, symptoms can be absent, minimal, or severe. Symptoms can include:
Weakness or sensory loss in the legs, feet
Leg length difference
Foot deformity
Problems with gait (walking)
Bowel or bladder infection or incontinence
Constipation
Scoliosis (sideways curvature of the spine)
Back pain
Continence problems


Working puts extra stress on the body, stress your body really doesn't need, and probably can't afford. Maybe something you could do is finish school and study for a low stress career. In the mean time, about work, something very low stress on your body. Maybe a barista at a small coffee stand, or a ticket/cashier, at a theater or something. Also, tell your boss, if you get a job, about your spina bifida and ask him/her to work something out with you. Good luck, and my heart goes out to you and your mom.

Answer 4

well, first of all, if you have spina bifida and lived to age 17 then i guess you'r doing okay. If you are able to walk, take care of your personal activities of daily living, maintain a social life, go to school, then you should be able to work. It's all about balance, in all areas of your life. Being diagnosed with a new disease is often scary, especially for the parents. But it sounds like you are doing fine, accepting the diagnosis & ready to move on with your life, as you should. I say "Go For It". Stick to your guns!

Answer 5

Interesting way to display your immaturity; you ask for answers but only if they conform to what you want to hear...
Given this failure in your ability to consider all available options, I'll keep to the medical disipline of your question. SB Occulta can be a very dangerous condition with physical labor and even certain movement. Without seeing your scans, I can say that your mother is duly concerned in your geting a job. If, for example, the cauda equina were somehow less than completely protected, you could very possibly sustain an injury even a very slight one, that could destroy the nerves from your hips distally. This could mean that you'd lose use of your legs along with your bowels and bladder, and also the ability to feel any sexual contact. I certainly would not want to lose all of this so that I could get a job.

Answer 6

Ok, so you have spina bifida. Just what does this have to do with getting or not getting a job? You go girl..GOOD LUCK

Answer 7

I think she's just worried about you and your health.

Being 17, pretty much all the jobs you're going to be able to land will require a significant amount of manual labor or standing on your feet all day.

I would ask her why and if it's the reason I suspect, compromise with her and try to find a less strenuous work environment.

Answer 8

No way would I criticise you. I think it's great you want to get a job and be independent. Your mum is just being protective. Maybe you need to get someone like a doctor or a counsellor to talk to her for you to let her know it's a good idea. Power to you!

Answer 9

If you have just found out, she may be panicking that you won't be able to cope. Maybe sit her down and explain that if you find it too hard to do the job, you would find something else. Or maybe, just give her a little time to come to terms with it and in the meantime, show her that you don't need to be wrapped in cotton wool. That you can manage.
I hope it goes ok. Good luck.

Answer 10

Assure her. Tell her that maybe you can work part-time for awhile to see how it works out. If it is causing your back problems to increase, quit. But it is all part of growing up and wanting to gain independence. Your her daughter, like any good mother, she is just trying to protect you. Good Luck!