Is my BF Normal? *see details* This is SERIOUS!?

Question

Well, I am 5'3 and I weight 125 and he is is 5'11 and 187. Is it normal for him to want to pin me down all the time. I mean I know he likes to playful and cuddle, which is ok... however, sometimes, he hugs me and won't let go and gets a real trip from being bigger and stronger than me. He evens tackles me sometimes.. not in a painful way, but it is still bothersome. I am still a virgin, and he is not.. He told me he respected my decision to wait, but with all of this stuff going on.. I don't know if he is gonna go too far. He does not show violent tendencies are physical abuse.. but him holding me down is reall bothering me.. What do you think?

Answer 1

you've got to tell him it is bothering you. His aggressive tendencies might go too far someday. Before they do, tell him that it is bothering you. If he doesn't stop, he doesn't respect you..and that can cause problems in the future.

Answer 2

I would talk to him about it...because this something that is troubling you alot. and the only way to fix it to tell him how you feel. And if he doesnt except it he isnt worth it. But also its that concept of being random. Currently my gf is a little taller than be and a bit bigger but i still corner her and that sort of stuff. She likes it a lot though so it depends on what you like and let him know that...To be honest its all at ur pace and he should respect that...And in my relationship i am the virgin and she isnt, but we go out the pace that fits us...I leave it up to her because I dont want to pressure and i hate it and would feel bad. So the last thing is basically he waits for you and dont be pressured if he does snug him of and tell him ur not comfortable with it. And that is how you will know he is a good guy and well really respects you for wanting to wait. Do ever compromise for the guy is my thing and I am a guy. Cuz you will always regret it my gf regets the guy she did it with..AND she was pressured...
I hope that helped.

Answer 3

If he doesn't let you go when you are being serious and you've already tried talking to him about this and it had no effect, get out of the relationship. The respect he should have for you is not there. That said, you really should try sitting down and having a discussion about why this makes you uncomfortable. Don't attack him and use lots of "I" statements, like "I'm not comfortable when I feel like I can't get away from you." The whole thing will probably be solved this way. I know how you feel, though. My boyfriend and I were messing around play fighting, and he got ahold of my wrists and sat on me so I couldn't move at all, and I got pretty scared. When he heard the tone in my voice when I asked him to let go, he did right away, and your man should have the same respect for you!

Answer 4

If you tell him the pinning down bothers you and he doesn't stop then I would be worried that he just doesn't understand boundaries. If you explain that you don't like him showing off his being bigger and stronger all the time and he keeps doing it I would be worried.

But until you let him know it's bothering you, you won't know if this is just a difference of opinion or if he's doing it on purpose to bother you.

Answer 5

Somehow he got the upperhand on all this physical activity--it has gone on so long he doesn't know you don't like it anymore. Have a nice sane conversation and tell him that just like your stance on virginity-you have a stance on all this behavior...make it clear, make it known how you do not appreciate it--he is not a child and you are notgoing to tolerate it anymore.What happens if he does hurt you??? He needs to be told in a nice but firm way. Then get past it and don't carry it on. If he gets angry--too bad---he needs to move on.

Answer 6

Well, sounds like communication is the key here. If you can't tell him what bothers you now, then when you are ready to move on how will you be able to express what you like or dislike? If he doesn't change his ways once you talk to him, then maybe you are not on the same level. Do you know his past history with women? This could give you an indicator on what your situation could turn out to be like.

Answer 7

If I were you, I would talk to him about it and see if he can change. I know that I personally love the feeling of my guy pinning me down and kissing me up against a wall or something like that...it really turns me on, and maybe your guy has had a girl tell him that she likes that before and therefore, he thinks most girls (including you) would like it.

Tell him how you are feeling and if he doesn't change, find someone else. However, don't just ditch him without giving him a chance.

Answer 8

Say what you feel, straight to his face. Guys appreciate that. If you keep quiet, he will NOT get a clear message that you are bothered by his constant wrestler-moves. Straight up, but with tact. That's how you should tell him. Whether he would be OK with it is another matter, though. His response will show his level of maturity. Good luck.

Answer 9

Sometimes guys (or girls) enjoy controlling or being controlled. It's a fairly common feeling for people. It's also fairly common to dislike it. Tell him how you feel about it. Expression of feelings (communication) is important in a relationship and it's better to say something now, when the discomfort is light, rather than later when it's built up.

Good Luck!

Answer 10

If you are making it clear to him that you don't appreciate being treated that way and he doesn't respect you by stopping the behavior it's a strong signal that he doesn't care about you as much as he cares about satisfying his own needs. Your relationship is a rape waiting to happen. Break it off with this guy before something bad happens.