I got to know a guy who is 14 yrs older and are together for a few mths. He told me he's single when we met and I believed him. But last few weeks ago a woman called me and said he's married and got 2 kids. Then recently I went to the registry of marriage to check whether he's married or not. OMG, He's married!!! Then now we arguing abt it and he's begging me not to leave him but then he also dun wanna leave his wife. Now I feel like I'm a vixen that go into another family but then I really love him. Should I continue with him??? Am I wrong??? I'm in my twenties...
2007-01-08 17:20:07 · 11 answers · asked by o_O 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I tried to reason out with him and telling him that we do not have a future like this but then I will get soft-heartened when he looked sad and begging me not to leave him. I want him to be happy and not suffer. How to make myself more hard-hearted to pull myself away from him? We reasoned with each other for a long time. And he's a muslim and he said in muslim law he can get up to 4 wifes and he wanna take care of me... He actually married for 6 yrs which was arranged by his family. I know I shouldn't listen to all the craps he saying now but then I can bring myself to hate him. What should I do to make myself to dump him without being soft-hearted???
2007-01-08 18:12:22 · update #1
First of all hun... with this guy, you will allways come second, ok secondly you know right off the bat that hes a liar, capible of lying about very important information, like "oh by the way im a dad and i have a wife". Third, how will you ever be able to trust him not to do the same to you . And last and most important not to be fresh or mean hun but your 14 years younger and to him your a new piece of A#@. please dont hurt yourself there are plenty more fish in the sea>
2007-01-08 17:43:00 · answer #1 · answered by renee l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just leave him now. The longer you wait, the more you will suffer later.
As long as you are the 3rd party, you are wrong no matter what. And he has already made clear he will not leave his family. So that makes you more wrong than ever.
You are still very young, why get yourself tangle up in such nasty relationship? I am sure there are many eligible unmarried young man out there who will give you a much simpler relationship.
Give yourself a break and think things thru' calmly and logically.
Put yourself in the shoe of his wife and kids. Do you want a younger lady to come in and breakup your family in future when you are older?
Loving him is one thing, but having a clear conscience is another. Can your own family members accept him? Do you want to hurt your parents as well?
Breaking up a family is not just between you and the man. It involves other family members like the kids, their in-laws, your own parents, siblings, etc. The most affected are the kids. Please don't hurt innocent kids. They did not ask for it. If this guy got marriage problem, he should settle it with his wife, and not using you as a reason.
Think about it, if you still want to carry on because of love, then I rest my case.
2007-01-09 01:41:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely not continue with him. Married men are out of bounds. Apart from that he lied to you, tricked you into falling in love with him, and he is using you. Don't settle for being a bit on the side. He has no thought for what he is putting his wife through, how selfish can he get? You deserve better. There is no future with a man like that. Go out and find a good man that will make you happy. Good luck.
2007-01-09 01:30:31 · answer #3 · answered by Ripplediane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really doesn't matter how you feel about him--he's married. On top of that he's a liar and a louse. Do you really want to be with someone who has no integrity? Do you actually think he would treat you any differently then he is now treating his wife even if he did leave her? Since he apparently doesn't know what morality is why don't you develop some and tell this scum to get lost.
2007-01-09 01:41:45 · answer #4 · answered by Ellen J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll never leave his wife and family for you.
Think of it this way...imagine your best girlfriend was married with kids, and just found out that her husband is sleeping with some chick 14 years younger. How would you feel for her? Wouldn't you be upset? And think what a ***** that other woman was?
Do you really want to be that other woman to someone?
2007-01-09 01:25:13 · answer #5 · answered by Lily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way, what kind of future will you have with him? If he stays with his wife but still want's to see you on the side, what kind of relationships that? It is definatly not one based on love and what he shows toward you is not love. If he chooses to leave her and marry you, then what kind of marriage will that be? You have already seen how he treats his wife, how do you know he will not treat you the same.
Also, think about his wife and kids. Think about what this will do to them if you don't break it off. If she ever finds out their marriage will be over, her heart will be broken, and the children will have to suffer through divorse.
You know what you ought to do. Please do it.
2007-01-09 01:53:58 · answer #6 · answered by BoranJarami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh thats a confuing one ummmmmmmmm.... u should really tell him that its not right to go about being married and have another gf at the same time. He seems confused and i wouldent want to totally distroy the family. So i would break up with him hes a *** for doing that in the beggining. So just say i dont need u, (trust me you'l find other luv !)
2007-01-09 01:26:22 · answer #7 · answered by Josie H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him or u will be the 3rd wheel(i think u already are)U r young,he is a married man who lied to u,i suggest u find someone in ur age group.If u stick around what he did to his wife,he will do the same to u.
2007-01-09 01:24:59 · answer #8 · answered by Ben S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would leave him because he is a liar. are you really going to fall for this? what does he have a heirloom of women with a wife he never mentions? if he lied then he is a prick....especially if he wants you and her both...that is just disgusting....and then a girl does that she is called every name in the book but a male whore is no different...leave him and go find someone else to love. good luck
2007-01-09 01:25:10 · answer #9 · answered by kowalley 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! that should be very difficult for you.. im sorry. but there is yet to be done. think about his family, esp the children. and do yourself a favor, love yourself first. do not fall for someone who lied to you. love can be a great thing. but respect is too! forget about him. you're still young. i am sure you'll find someone better and someone who truly deserves you. next time you do, make sure he really is single...
Godspeed!
2007-01-09 01:39:26 · answer #10 · answered by silkensaint 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋