Child support and guys?

Question

Why is it that some guys just don't want to see their children, even it they don't like the way they were concieved? Why some guys see child support as a way as the girl getting back at the guy? Can't they see the support is clearly for the child's needs and for their future. College, braces, uniforms for sports and other activies, school supplies, clothes, medical, day care expense, etc... Why guys pay in child support is really nothing, compare to what the single parent pays. Than why is it that some families can be so cold and not want to see their grandchildren but yet control their kids? A friend of mine's brothers father told his son to ask for joint legal custody in the case of his daughter because he will be financially responsible and if he is to be financially responsible he better have some sort of custody. They judge saw right through that and granted the mother full physical and legal custody.

It's odd a parent would resist a relationship with a child but yet want to regain control over that child. Why are some people like this?

Answer 1

some parents think its not child SUPPORT, but rather Child TRUST FUND. its to be used to make sure the child has a safe, warm place to live, clothing, food, school supplies, and so much more.

every state is different (slightly) regarding CS, so here are some links to help answer questions. as for the custody issues, there are different types of custody.

so just click on your state, and find the section you need (child support, custody, visitation, etc)

http://www.wantedposters.com/deadbeats_usa_a_to_f.htm
http://www.deadbeatjustice.com/list.htm
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc422.html
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq4-5.html
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm
http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/child-support-calculators.html
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm

Answer 2

Some men can't except things. I Have fought my Daughters for 2 years now...I've been in and out of court rooms with him...In two years he's paid me $80 thats is...You tell me how you support a kid on $80 in two years. You can't!

Yeah some men see it as a way of the girl getting back at them, but if they see it that way they are just jerks, unless the girl is asking way to much in that case the judge will calculate what is the correct amount...

Bottom line...that child or children were brought into this world by two people the mother and father, they did not ask to be born, and it should be both the MOTHER AND FATHERS Emotional, Physical, Moral, and Fincaial support! It can work even if you are at ends with the father...it the beauty of a court. And whats called a wage garnishment if after the court hearing he decides not pay...the only trick to a wage garnishment is that you the father stays at the job he's at...and not quite everytime he finds out that they will start taking it from his pay...

My sister, is going throug a divorice and it's awful My neice is a year and half and of corse has not idea what is going on...her husband up and left one day...she recently spoke to her soon to be ex-husband and he told her he will not tell her where he is at because he doesn't want to pay child support...as far as he's concerned he has no kid...now that ladies and gentelmen is what we call and DEAD BEAT DAD!

Answer 3

I am a single mom and he pays no child support. What I don't get is why my asking for child support is 'revenge'... My child care alone took more then what the child support was.. so his money went to childcare... and I pay the food, diapers, rest of the childcare.. and all the other stuff that takes alot of money, ballet, school supplies, birthday parties, etc... his child support covered part of the childcare only.. and now he won't pay anything...


And guys paying and then seeing the child 'to get their money's worth'... that makes me mad.

As for parents who want to control their kids and think their grandchildren are bastards and should have not been born... that makes me reallly mad. This is not the old world anymore... and control and guilting your kids when all they want is love and acceptence and a good relationship with them...

I learned one thing. I can do it on my own. I moved away from the controlling family. I am going to school and don't ask for child support. Why? Cause when I am alone with my life and my kids and no one trying to control me and critisizing me every day... without them.. .I am happy.. and my kids are happier when I am happy

Answer 4

Some guys feel if they did not have a choice in the baby being born why should they pay. I say they had a choice when they had sex. Everyone knows what can happen when you have sex.............BABIES. DUH! My ex does not pay child support. He pays half of day care when he wants to and then tells me his gf does not live with him which is a lie so it looks like he pays all the rent by himself. Oh wait he does she doesn't work. So he supports his girlfriend and cannot support his child. It is pathetic.
I do the best I can. I have gotten into such debt over medical bills, dental bills etc, etc. I am married now and my husband helps me as much as he can, but he has his own kids to support too. HE pays child support and has one of his kids living with us. I have tried to work with my ex out of court, but unfortunately I am going to have to take him because my daughter deserves to have money put aside for college and to be able to be supported. SHE deserves it. THE CHILD. And yes, moms can be the same too. It is just that you see it more with dads then with the moms.

Answer 5

My spidey sense tells me that this is troll bait, but I will go for it.
First off, people don't get placed on deadbeat lists for child support that is nothing. They are often hit with retroactive damages, "imputed" income (made up), and often denied a role in the child's life. They have their checks taken for 65 percent of their net, sometimes more. Some people have actually been given paychecks for $.60 because.
In addition there are people who are paying for child support for children that aren't even there, even when the court system knows that the child is not theirs. They've even paid when the child doesn't exist. They've been jailed for non payment of child support because they were prisoner's of Saddam (guess he forgot to withhold the percentage of their daily gruel and forward it to the kiddies)
So if you are going to ask another of these questions in the future, do be so kind as to do some research on the subject.

Answer 6

I'm A single dad, and My Ex wife has not seen the kids since they were 4 months old (twin boys), and does not pay child support, I am sole carer, full custody etc. It works both way you know, My ex wife, didn't want anythig to do with the children when they truned 3 months she just said Nope can't do this i don't want to be a mom and that was it.

Answer 7

There are two sides to every story. I was raised by my mother. My father was never involved in my life and never paid child support. My mother never "man bashed" either. I grew up just fine. I think I had it better than someone whose mother or father walked in and out of their life as they pleased. You're either in or you're not. Child support should be a separate issue. I'm separated and am lucky that my child's father wants to maintain a relationship with his child AND he pays child support on time. Tough as it can be financially, I think a child is better off with two parents that want to be part of the child's life. If one refuses to see the child, then it might be best for them to stay out of that child's life. The bottom line is what's in the best interest of the child.

Answer 8

look allot of men don't really bond to well to younger children,like diaper age especially.With that said imagine making payments on a car that you cant drive,but they will lock you up if you don't pay,,,now imagine that some other guy humping your girl is riding in that car,living in your house etc...That's what it is.Basically the idea is if i get no enjoyment or say so in the child then why should i pay?Especially if she kicked him out! Then it's like why are you asking him for money,,,, should have thought of that before you threw him out! there is no milk without the cow you know!also if you threw him out for being a cheater ,abusive, sorry etc... why did you expect those quality's to change just because a judge told him to????????????????
i think that sums it up i know you dont want to here it but,,,,,,,you did ask!

Answer 9

when it comes to child support in most cases, not all but most the child support is really not used for the child. It is used for the house hold.

In some cases, not all but some the woman does use the child support to get back at the father. You know the "Im gonna take him for every penny I can." or "he's gonna give me my money".

I have seen it happen.

Answer 10

When a woman finds out that she's going to be a mother, she has options... abortion, adoption, safe haven abandonnment, keep the child... whatever. When a man finds out he's going to be a father, what options does he have? None.

Maybe if men had reproductive rights comparable to women, there'd be fewer cases like this.