Temper Tantrum 20 month old. Head Butting Things?

Question

We have a 20 month old and he has recently been throwing himself to the floor, and then banging his head off the floor after he hears the wonderful NO word or we discipline him for doing something he's not supposed to. Should I seem concerned or is this just the terrible twos and I should just sit tight and hang on?

Answer 1

Hello. Don't worry, your son is normal. He is just exhibiting signs of frustration. He will get upset when he can not do something himself or is told "no." It will take a little adjustment for him to realize to be patient and that there are some thing that he shouldn't do. Yes, this is what is called terrible two's, and it is a phase, and hopefully it will pass. I don't know when exactly. My son is 2 and 1/2, and he still throws tantrums, although they are less frequent and hopefully will fade away soon. Some tricks are: to try to prevent tantrums (like if you know things that create bad reactions), try to keep him in a calm environment when he won't nap or eat, redirrect his attention. If he explodes - just be there for him, try speaking gently and giving encouraging words, make sure that he doesnt hurt himself. If that doesnt help, you may need to walk away for a bit, this way you both may calm down. Cause I know a screaming child can get to you, especially when nothing you do seens to help. It will pass, you are a great parent. Love your child. Well wishes.
Lindsay

Answer 2

Make sure he is safe and let him go at it. It won't take him long to realize that you mean what you say and the tantrum doesn't work. Either that or he will grow out of it a few years, once your sanity is stretched to the limit.

When I was a kid, I too banged my head on the wall. My mom took me down the basement and pointed at the concrete wall and told me "That's the head banging wall". Yeah, I was dumb enough to do it once....but quickly figured that that wasn't working. I switched over to holding my breath until I almost passed out, Our neighbour who was a doctor was over at the time. She calmly got up, walked over to the sink, poured a little water into a glass and tossed it in my face. My reaction was to gasp and...that was the end of that.

The little guy can't express himself yet and that's just his way of making a point. Sooner or later the endorphins he produces during these fits of rage act as a calming agent and the episode subsides.....hopefully before you have a meltdown.

He's just a regular little kid, trying to get his way. You just have to be a parent determined to get yours.

I don't envy you...I went through it with my son 30 years ago and I can still remember how frustrating it was.....but the memory still makes me smile. I guess that's because I won that one.
God bless.

Answer 3

First take him out of harms way, just pick him up kicking and screaming and put him somewhere where he can't hurt himself. If you have to hold him in you arms until he stops struggling and put him into timeout. Usually I would say to walk away when he is having a tantrum and just ignore him, but since he could hurt himself its better for you to step in and put a stop to it, and give him a timeout. The general rule is 1 min per yr. So he is almost 2, so give him a 2 minute time out, either on his bed/crib or on the naughty chair. Get down to his level and explain to him what he did wrong and that it is not ok and when he calms down and be's a good boy then he can come out of time out. Kids start to have temper tantrums because they don't know how to properly explain that they are upset and cannot communicate the anger. You have to take him out of the situation and not let him hurt himself and then put your foot down as to who is in charge. My kids stopped the temper tantrums as soon as they realized that it didn't work with me, which didn't take long.

Answer 4

Tantrums are ONLY effective because they upset the parent so much, they give in because they can't stand the noise, or the embarrassment in public, or they're afraid their child will hurt himself. Think about it - do children throw tantrums when they are alone? No, because there's no point. So next time tell him "If you want to scream/shout/hit your head, I don't want to see it. You can scream in the bathroom until you're ready to come out" Then take him to the bathroom, leave him inside and close the door (stay close). Repeat as many times as needed until he BELIEVES that you will do what you say. Tantrums will cease as soon as there is no audience to observe it. Good luck and stay sane.

Answer 5

DEAR MOM IT IS TIME FOR SOME MUCH NEED DISCIPLINE AND SOME GROUND RULES FOR HE ARE SHE HERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT YOU CAN TRY OUT OK IT WILL BE TOUGH LOVE (1) TIME OUT A CHAIR IN THE CORNER (2) PUT IN YOUR BED ROOM AND NO TOYS (3) IN HIS BED ROOM IF A BABY BED PUT UP THE RIAL SO HE CAN NOT GET TAKE OUT ALL TOYS OUT OF HIS BED IF HE STARTS TO CRY SHUT THE DOOR TO HIS ROOM FOR ABOUT TEN MINUTES THEN CHECK ON HIM HE MIGHT GO TO SLEEP AND TAKE A NAP AND LAST A GOOD SPANKING A POP ON HIS DIAPER WITH A STRONG VOICE HE WILL CRY ARE POP HIS LITTLE LEG JUST ONCE THEN HE WILL CRY TO

Answer 6

i'm pretty sure head banging is common, my son is 16 months and doesn't do that but i heard it's common. it's supposedly a way for them to get out their anger and or frustration when they don't know how to do it. if he's posing a threat to himself, i's try time outs for headbangings, extra love, and talk to him about it, try toi help him vent in a more possitive manner. try 'the discipline book' by dr. sears. good luck!

Answer 7

My 2 year old does this too,I asked her dr if this was normal he said absolutely and that she's frustrated and doesn't know how to express herself,so I don't get freaked out anymore but when she starts it up I say rennie mad and then she says rennie mad if she goes to bang her head again I say no no rennie mad this really seems to work good luck

Answer 8

My son did this to our fridge instead of floors. It got worse when he saw our initial reaction (it drew our attention to him of course). When I began "ignoring" it (I always kept a watchful eye), it happened less and less. He knew it wasn't going to change the fact that he was told no or had gotten in trouble. And he never did injure himself doing so, just looked ridiculous. Relax, this too shall pass . :-)

Answer 9

Sounds like hes trying to get a response from you. Best thing to do is leave the room and let him go for it. When there is no audience there's no reason for the show.

Answer 10

It's just a phase. My 15 mos. old son throws fits too and will even jump up and down when he is told no. He also head butt things.