A couple of days ago the guy I have been dating for 7 months said he needs me, wants to be with me and loves me but then last night he got agitated because I brought up a committed relationship, said he does not want that and said I am difficult. He then hung up the phone and I got the impression that he doesn't want to be with me anymore.
He dissappeared from our relationship just prior to this (He hinted and hinted for me to say I loved him, but when I finally did he acted like he was really happy and then disappeared for five weeks) and came back like nothing ever happened. That's when he said he "needed" me.
When he calls me he is always really excited, but if I call him he sometimes sounds agitated until we talk for a few minutes.
He also places most of the blame for anything in the relationship to me and said that I am strange and difficult to be with. Even if something is clearly his fault, he finds a way to turn it back on me.
Does this sound like commitmentphobia?
2007-01-08 16:24:49 · 4 answers · asked by ? 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
In answer to the first question, I know he isn't married. I've met his family (unless his mother and all of them are in on it...)
I'm also pretty sure that he doesn't have a girlfriend, but it's more like he doesn't want to be tied down just in case...
He also told me once that I am the type of girl that any man would want to love for a long time, but then last night he said that there are a lot of things about me he didn't like (which came as a complete surprise).
2007-01-08 16:42:23 · update #1
Sounds like your basic, run of the mill, garden variety jerk to me.
It might be good to give him a little of his own medicine and avoid him for a month or so. Even better.....throw the bum out on his kiester.
2007-01-08 16:44:07 · answer #1 · answered by Jack 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd look at his family history and see if there's any history of abuse (of any type) in his childhood. There also could be some type of history of abandonment. This guy has a serious problem with attachment. His behavior is typical of someone with attachment issues. Google the term "Reactive Attachment Disorder" and adults and see what you think. These guys will drive you nuts. Move on and cut your losses. It probably will just get worse.
Also his behavior is manipulative of your emotions which concerns me. He may be an abuser himself and he is trying to break you down so you are easier to control. Watch out.
2007-01-08 22:26:13 · answer #2 · answered by prettyinpunkk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you know about him? It sounds like he either has another GF or he could even be married.Do some investigation. Something is seriously wrong here. You are involved with a game player.
2007-01-08 16:33:23 · answer #3 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about his problems, ask about yourself. Why would you stay with a jerk like this? He goes away, he comes back, he makes accusations. He sounds nuts. Stay away unless you always want drama like this. He won't change. You're not going to find happiness with a guy like this.
2007-01-08 19:52:40 · answer #4 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋