Will some other homeschooling parents please calm me down!!?

Question

I'm so unsure of my own abilites that I feel I may be selling my daugther short by teaching her at home. I keep hearing and reading about all these kids that are ahead of there peers by being home schooled. How can I be sure she's learning the samethings, and that she's mastering everything according to the standards if I'm not sure I even understand the "Standards". Don't get me wrong I'm an educated women, but I struggled for every "B" or "C" I got. Can someone please give me some advice on how to "destress myself" so my daugther can have a stress free homeschool experience. She wanted to do this so badly, and is so receptive. I'm affaird I'll ruin it or worse ruin her. I feel I'm pushing to hard and expecting to much. But on the same hand I want her to be educated. She's a smart 12 year old kid I just want to do her justice.

Answer 1

Ok, first of all all children learn at different paces and excell in one area and struggle with another. So if you don't think your child is 3 years ahead and she can't speak Latin, then you teach her where SHE is. That is the point of homeschooling. Your objectives should be giving her a well rounded education that will prepare her to go on to college if that is what she wants or to get a job in the field she is passionate about. She needs to be able to care for herself eventually, so be sure you are teaching life skills, morals, money management and integrity.

But to releive your idea that she is behind there are some homeschool co-ops out there that could maybe help you by teaching a class or 2 that feel overwhelming, as well as let you see how your daughter is in relation to other homeschool kids. Also you could go to the library and get the books What Your Child Needs to Know in the ____ Grade. There are some placement test for LifePac you can order to see where she is in their curriculum and they are only like $15
Here is a link for a free diagnostic test you can download from Switched on Schoolhouse. http://www.aop.com/sos/Support_Diagnostic.php

So see how she does and where she is placing. If she is behind see where and maybe consider a curriculm change to see if maybe another style will be easier for her to learn.

We all get overwhelmed, for different reasons at different times. Do your best, love your child, and keep at it.

Good Luck

Answer 2

Relax. I am not sure if you are using a curriculum or not. We use the Abeca curriculum and have the whole time - 10 years. You can probably go to the local school and find the standards.
My girls did testing every other year - the Iowa Test of Basic Skills. That gave us an idea of how ours stacked against other kids and areas of relative strengths and weaknesses.
Sometimes larger churches will have homeschool groups which would network you with other parents and also potentially give you opportunities for outings and educational trips.
Homeschooling will give you the option of focusing on areas of interest or areas of relative weakness as you see fit. Homeschoolers do better than their counterparts in testing and it is a hugely popular movement. There is a homeschool legal defense association that has links to resources and articles on homeschooling. Keep up the good work.

Answer 3

First of all no one knows your child better then you.
No one has your child's best interest at heart then you do.
Homeschooling is not all about education.
Bonding, love, and many other factors go into homeschooling.
Don't get me wrong, education is important, but remember your children are only little once, and you should cherish every moment you have with them each and every day.
Spending time in the kitchen preparing a meal for dinner can be considered math for the day.
There you have used fractions addition multiplication, etc.
With no text books, but lots of bonding time, between mother and child.
And you are also preparing her for the real world and real life.
Homeschooling is not always about text books.
Use them as your guide but use the world around you as your real teaching tool because the world is what your child is going to be living in.
You will not fail, you will succeed.
It may not be now, but you will see it years down the road when your child thanks you for homeschooling her.
God bless you, and happy teaching!

Answer 4

If you are using a curriculum, then you should be fine. Just do the books that are listed for your daughter's grade. I am not trying to oversimplify this, but it is not a reason-to-panic. Take the books for her grade and divide them into 180 days, or divide them by months, or weeks, or however you choose to do it, and stay up with your schedule. [Um, apologies to any unschoolers out there! Yes, I am a structured hs'er!] Relax and enjoy your days.

Okay, there are a few reasons that hs'ed kids tend to be ahead of their conventionally schooled peers academically. One is the one-on-one attention - they are able to master subjects that might pass them by if taught in a classroom situation. Secondly, and this is no insult to anyone in ps, the curricula available to hs'ers seems to be in some cases more academically advanced than that used in ps. Another reason is that the parents who choose to homeschool are, on average [and this is my personal observation, not according to any study I've read...], better educated and more intelligent. Or, their kids were ahead anyway in school and the school could not provide them with enough stimulation so the parents took the child out to hs them - so if they had been left in school, the child would still have been ahead of peers. Another thing is that hs parents are more involved in the child's education, and when a child does go to school, if his parents are more involved in his education, he does better - so this would be another case of the same child being ahead if in a conventional school.

At any rate, good luck, and since your daughter was so eager to be hs'ed, I just know that you will do fine.

Answer 5

Read the book "Teach Your Own" by John Holt and Patrick Farenga. The authors address the benefits of homeschooling, as well of many of the reasons why people choose to not use government schools to educate their children. John Holt also speaks extensively on parents that modern day society looks down on as being incapable, including single parents, parents with GED's, or families in which both parents work. I am rereading this book right now, and it's such a help. I got it at our public library. You can buy it at a bookstore if you'd rather. It might help to keep it around and read from it daily.

No one can calm you down , or make you feel better. What we can do is let you know that this is normal, and let you know that you should be strong in your ideals.

Remember that if a person wants to learn something, they will learn it. You can't force learning, what you force is regurgitation of worthless facts. What I want to know is why do parents feel that homeschooled children should show up, or be ahead of their schooled peers? What are we trying to prove? I know it's because society is judging us all the time, and so we feel like we have to prove that it's worthwhile, but really, our goal should be happy children, who love learning for learnings' sake, and can do what they want to live in the world.

You say she's smart, ask her what her opinion is. IF she's starting to hate it, see what you can change. Work at her level, and let her go as fast as she wants. Your job right now is to provide the resources that she desires to keep learning.

Answer 6

What state are you from?
I'am a teacher from California, and I have helped to homeschool students before.

Every state should have thier standards listed under the states education page, check out for each subject what your daughter is suppose to master.

Some of the subjects are very vauge in discription which lets you have more freedom to decied how to teach the subject, but in California math is very strictly defined.

Don't worry to much if you have the passion and are willing to learn as you go you will do fine, the fact that you care this much is a good sign.

Answer 7

I am not a homeschooling parent, but my mom was for 2 years until we were given the choice of schooling. My mom, I love her and she's smart, but not 'booKsmart', went through several text booKs for us finding ones that would enable us to learn ourselves, the things she couldn't teach that is. My little sister and I are both very smart, and this tactic helped my mom get us here. We also tooK our Isteps. This helped as well. Don't freaK out so much (and I do Know not to capitalize my 'K', but I have to copy and paste because the Key is broKe!)

Answer 8

We all feel like this at some point. If you truly worry about whether she is learning what she should, use a curriculum that will follow a standard. I have used Alpha Omega, Bob Jones, and A Beke. Find out which one she works best with and go with it. There is so much out there for us now. I promise you won't screw up as long as you do something. Life is such a learning experience, use it too.
Find a homeschooling support group in your area. You will be amazed at how much that will help. They usually have classes, field trips, and help with things like spelling bees and geography bees. Don't give up and don't get yourself stresses out.

Answer 9

Get yourself a support group! While we can support you somewhat, there's nothing like being able to sit down with another parent and just pour everything out and get feedback.

With a support group, too, you will undoubtedly find other people who understand the standards a bit better, as they've been dealing with them for years, and can guide you to how to meet them. (Do you know where to find the standards for where you live?)

Know that most parents go through a panic mode, especially if they've pulled the child out of school. It's the oh-my-god-what-have-i-done panic that blocks out all reasoning. Know that by the very fact that you are worried about 'ruining her' means you won't ruin her. Know that you don't have to accomplish everything *now* but can take one thing to really focus on and go with that. Do focus on your relationship with her and don't let your worries about meeting standards ruin that relationship. That can be the making or breaking of the homeschooling experience for the child.

Have some good heart-to-hearts with your daughter. Share your fears and worries that you're pushing too hard--kids like to know that their parents are human, too. She may also come up with some good ideas about what to do, or what she wants out of the homeschooling.

Last of all, take some deep breaths in and blow out through your mouth. Do until panic is gone. :)

Answer 10

You will be OK I taught my 3 kids for one yr. alpha-omega cir.. I didn't have a clue what I was doing Be your self the rest is self explanatory.My kids went back to school and two yrs after that even there were things that they had already had learned from that one year of homeschooling.... There is a learning curve in everything. distress my .... if your up tight so wont she be sounds like you need to go on a field trip... have fun do projects . Get over yourself.