The thing is my girl is very social, she hangs out a lot with her friends, which include a number of boys too. Which by the way i don't mind at all. But the thing that really bThe thing is my girl is very social; she hangs out a lot with her friends, which include a number of boys too. Which by the way I don't mind at all. But the thing that really bothers me is that, she forgets about me when she's with them, it means that she don’t call or answer my messages. And this is very hurting. Can anyone advise on this?thers me is that, she forgets about me when she's with them, it means that she dont call or answer my messages. And this is very hurting. Can anyone advise on this?
2007-01-08 15:26:59 · 11 answers · asked by Demonic Angel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No matter how someone will say they are just friends, whether its a boy saying that about girls he hangs out with or a girl hanging out with boys and saying they are just friends, it means that neither one of them are ready or willing to have only the affections of their actual boyfriend or girlfriend. They are still seeking the flirting game whether they want to admit it or not.
You say it doesn't bother you and only the fact that she doesn't take your phone calls when she's with others causes you to hurt (which it should), but obviously it hurts you a lot more than your willing to admit or you would not be asking this question.
It's okay to be bothered by this behavior of hers. It sounds like you think you don't have the right to be upset over her actions and yet you do have that right - if there is an understanding between the two of you that you are boyfriend and girlfriend, you have every right to expect her to help protect the relationship and not allow things that can cause problems. What she is doing can cause serious problems to a relationship.
Two people who are truly committed to each other will protect their relationship. That means they do not hang out with the opposite sex without their boyfriend or girlfriend also there. Protecting a relationship never goes away, even married couples have to protect their marriage, it doesn't mean overly jealousy, clinging or anything down those lines, it simply means you don't do things that can have the potential to harm a relationship. Nor do you continue to do what the other other person has already expressed bothers them or causes them hurt.
If she's hanging out with these guys while drinking, that alone raises all kinds of red flags. Alcohol and flirting is very dangerous, unless its between the couple themselves.
I'm sorry to say this, but your girlfriend still sounds like she is having too much fun flirting rather than allowing herself to be tied down with just one person. Yet at the same time, she wants to be able to say she has a boyfriend, but she's not willing to commit herself to pursuing what it takes to see if this is the relationship she wants. Following that decision is doing what it takes to develop it and allow it to grow.
A girl needing to hang out with a bunch of guys, even if its just one or two is still hanging on to being single and free. There is a need being met that she is not letting the boyfriend meet or the boyfriend is unable to meet that need, not at any fault of his own.
It seems like she wants the best of both worlds, the boyfriend and the attention from a lot of other boys because that is what they are doing, giving her a lot of attention that she is needing for some reason. Evidently at this time in her life, attention from just one guy is not enough for her.
You don't give her age, but she sounds immature and just not ready to settle down with one boyfriend. There is nothing wrong with what she is doing, but if she has a boyfriend, then it becomes wrong.
Even when a relationship is just beginning, once there is an understanding that you are no longer dating others, then each of you should be committed to seeing where the relationship is going to take you.
As much as it may hurt, you might want to re-evaluate what you are wanting and expecting from this relationship. It sort of sounds one-sided, especially when she ignores you and cannot be bothered with your phone calls when she is with others. That is not a good sign.
I think she is making it very clear that she does not want you exclusively and she still needs the attention of many others. Some girls nver out grow this.
I wish you the very best.
2007-01-08 16:24:30 · answer #1 · answered by Child of Abba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was really not into the guy I was wiith, I would behave in exactly the same way. If I was really into the guy I was with, I would NEVER act this way.....it seems like she is very selfish and not really caring of your feelings. I'm sure that out there is a girl that would love to be with you and not be rude. You are worth more than being treated like A DOOR STOP WITH HAIR.
2007-01-08 15:32:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm friends with mostly men so I can relate to this topic. My guy friends usually tease me if i answer a text or a phone call when i'm out with them, so I can understand! There is probably nothing going on except she's 'hanging with the guys' - I wouldnt stress over it, but I would tell her that it upsets you that she doesnt respond to your msg's when she's out with them. When a woman is friends with men, its like a whole different world - and most likely not to include her boyfriend or the guy she's dating. That relationship is kept totally seperate. She's not forgetting about you, she's just totally into her friends for those moments she's with them. I do the same thing!
2007-01-08 15:36:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you love her, you should trust her. tell her how you feel and if she loves you back, she'll understand and be respectful of your feelings and pick up her phone. my boyfriend and i had the same problem when i use to go out alot. i would call him to tell him im safe and call him on my way home. anytime i was alone, id call just to say hey, whats up and if hes ok. it makes the relationship stronger and better and you respect what the other person wants.
2007-01-08 15:31:45 · answer #4 · answered by tigress 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smack that b*tch up. How can you stand for that bullsh*t? I know about the whole "just friends" thing etc etc, but there's a f*cking limit you know? Next time she ignores you just say "Can I talk to you for a sec?" and drag her somewhere alone and "knock" some sense into her head.
2007-01-08 15:32:10 · answer #5 · answered by Redeemer,Savior,Deliverer-MARINE 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You repeated yourself ALOT in this message!
You are REALLY frustrated,huh?
If she is ignoring you when she is around her other friends.Why do you let her do this to you>?
Get a girl this is gonna treat you right!!
2007-01-08 15:31:00 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Luv my kitties♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are completely right in feeling this completely right in feeling this way. You say it doesn't bother you but it does. You need to tell her how you feel and if she respects your relationship You need to tell her how you feel and is she respects your relationship, she will changer her ways.
2007-01-08 15:32:18 · answer #7 · answered by Crackoa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude i dont let my gf hang out with any other guys, not that she even wants to, but yeah thats messed up. put her in check
2007-01-08 15:31:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if she has no other relation with those boys then it is fine and if she is having some other relations such as dating etc, then it is time to leave her. she can not be urs.
2007-01-08 16:24:30 · answer #9 · answered by classic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discuss this with her. This is an issue on trust.
2007-01-08 15:30:54 · answer #10 · answered by CH CH CH CHIA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋