We had an orgy? What now?

Question

I recently had a foursome with another couple and my partner, we have done it a few times now and developed a friendship with the couple. My bf brought this fantasy to me and i helped him fufill it. Sometimes I feel uneasy about it, like he wanted to do it because our sex was not enough for him (I give it to him whenever he wants it, and I give him oral almost every day, I have been really open to everything he has wanted from anal to porn, etc.) so he has no reason not to be satisfied. He says he is doing it to try new things together. Although our sex is great, we argue alot. We have a 3 month old, and im feeling like he wants to be here with his family, but needs more at the same time. What do you think? Does the fact that he wants other women in bed with us mean that he doesnt love me or he is not attracted to me?

Answer 1

It sounds like you have a lot going on! I have a 10 month old baby--it totally takes more than 3 months to adjust to being parents and for your body and hormones to get back on track from having a baby. It is pretty common for new dads to want sex and new moms to be too exhausted to be interested. It will even out after a while. Also a lot of new dads are adjusting to the fact that that baby gets first pick of you love and attention.

As for the foursome, was it before the baby? My husband and I had several threesomes (all before the baby) and mostly it worked out for us. BUT we both wnted to do it and it sounds like you were just going along with his fantasy. If you are not into it and have given it a try you can set some limits as to what you are willing to do in the bedroom. He may need to grow up a little and realize life is not a porno where he can have 100% sexual gratification all the time. If he has to make a choice between you and the baby and more sex...probably family will come out on top, even if he is restless right now.

As for feeling insecure--I can hardly imaging a woman who doesn't feel that way after a year of pregnancy, childbirth, nursing and crazy hormones. According to the men I have talked to most like variety. He can love you and still be attracted to other women--but if he loves you and you are monagamous then he needs to respect you and your realtionship and not have sex with other women. Regardless of the attraction he is responsible for his behavior, especially if it has such hurtful consequences.

Answer 2

These are questions that you need to ask your boyfriend! Communication is HUGE especially if you're going to be with other couples and in all reality, it should of been something you talked about in depth BEFORE you had the foursome. Since you weren't exactly thrilled with the arrangement to begin with I would imagine that your relationship will only become more strained with time if you continue to do this and now your bf thinks you're okay with it. I wouldn't say that you're not enough, but men really enjoy fantasies and because this is one that's been fulfilled he may want to continue to do more. I would talk to him...openly and honestly and get him to understand how you feel about the situation and why you're uneasy. And, don't do anything you're not 300% okay with anymore!

Answer 3

You give him oral almost every day? Yes, you need to dump him and be with me.......Seriously, I don't believe men are inherently monogomous. It is almost every man's fantasy to be with more than one woman. Be glad that he is willing to do this with you included, instead of sneaking around behind your back. You should be proud of the fact that he feels comfortable enough with you to tell you his fantasies. I don't think it has to do with how attractive you are, guys like variety. I know I do. Foursomes are a good way to get the variety he needs and include you in the fun. The question is, do you enjoy the foursome sex as well?

Answer 4

This is just my opinion and Im sure most will give me the thumbs down. If a man or a woman wants another person in the bed then its time for you to move on. I have a 7 month old and if my partner EVER even suggested it he'd be gone. If Im not good enough for him or if he needs more then just me its time he goes and finds it.

And why the heck are you being his sex slave you are his partner he needs to show you some respect.You do not have to be a slave to this man respect yourself!

Answer 5

Being a woman I would think you would want respect: and
your bf is not giving that to you: He is using u as a sex
machine just like he is using the others to have sex with.
Now you have a 3month old and you put urself in this
situation. You need to start thinking about the 3month old
and leave the orgys alone because if you and your boy-
friend continue to do what it is that you do then you will
come out being the one that is unhappy becasue re-
member when you want to quit and he wants to continue
he will do just that continue.

Answer 6

You'll have to ask him....and tell him you want brutal honesty from him. If your sex life is making you uncomfortable then it's time to re-evaluate things....perhaps seek councelling. Your hubby might be just living out his sexual fantasies and nothing more than that. If it's at the cost of your self respect, then it's time to put a rein on the orgies and put some time into getting things straightened out. Much luck!

Answer 7

from a man's point of view, I had threesomes with my wife and her sister that were like paradise. Sex is intimate and fulfilling, and it can also be pleasure and fun. There's arguing in every relationship, it's how you grow together. He loves you and is attracted to you, experiencing new things is supposed to be adventurous and exciting. You are probably reading too much into it. My wife was like that now and then, we do threesomes with two of my friends too so she gets to experience guys too so it's a two way street in knowing how one another feel with the experiences.

Answer 8

I totally see where you're coming from but some men need something that woman don't really understand. My Ex was kind of like that too but you can look at it this way at least he is being open with you and not doing this kind of stuff behind your back if you don't like it tell him so if he gets angry or refuses to stop then it's time to leave. there is nothing more i can tell you except he should be hearing what your saying.

Answer 9

He's addicted to sex. Get him help and if he refuses then I am sorry but it'll just keep getting worse. If this makes you uneasy I think you should think about what life will be without him and take care of your child.

Answer 10

He needs more ? Like what more could this man want,pray tell ? It seems to me you've bent over backwards(literally) giving him what he wants,doing things no one else would do. That's enough,if he's not satisfied with all you've done,tough $h** !