My fiance was in the Marines?

Question

My fiance was in the Marine Corps for 5 years...he was in Iraq for the first initial push...he was involved with recovery efforts for the USS Cole...I have so much respect for him and am so glad he is home...but it just seems like he has acquired such an agression from the military...its been 3 years since he was out...I'm sure he had Post Traumatic Stress...but his anger is really bad. I know 4 other Marines with the same problem. One ex-marine friend of his was arrested for murder...I notice it so much with Marines...what is this???

Thank you all so much for the answers...they really helped me :)

Answer 1

The men need help. Please guide your fiance to counseling.

Rebel Chick....cut out the garbage spewing. Our men and women in uniform ARE NOT BRAINWASHED. It is you, not they who are fed garbage.

Rhenry - you are doing your brothers and sisters in arms a great DISSERVICE by what you said. Millions of war veterans serve their country and live perfectly normal lives. The damaged goods you speak of in such dire terms are a rare minority.

Please people the Iraq conflict will be resolved. Let it be resolved with a victory for the side of sanity and democracy......not a victory for the appeasers and their Islamofacist puppet masters!

Answer 2

First, give him a HUGE HUG, do NOT say that you understand because you DON'T! Get him hooked up with support group that was THERE so that he can VENT!

NO shrink, just MARINES that have BEEN THERE. The rehab is a BIT** and maybe a retired MARINE "TOP" could offer some insight. Or he could find a "Leatherneck Club"; there is a GREAT one in Vegas.

I did NAM and stopped counting at 22 "UCAP" KIA, he will know what that means.

My first day back my "wife" told me about an affair that she had while I was deployed. I reacted based upon my training and put the guy in the hospital for 6 weeks. I told him iof he ratted me out I would find him and take 8 hours doing him again. I SWEAT BRICKS for a few weeks and then relaxed.

Get him to go to school and direct his aggression to building upon the training that he received in the MARINES; DISCIPLINE and HONOR; it NEVER goes away and direct it toward a positive outcome and COMPLETION of a PERSONAL MISSION that will make life better for both of you. It is simply a refocus of training.

USN 1964-
"HONORARY" MARINE CORPS DI

Answer 3

No research to back it up, but a gut feeling is with the Marines being an elite fighting unit, the ferocity of their experiences often lead to this. All military personnel should receive our respect for their sacrifices, but I hold the Marine Corps in my highest esteem. Their personal bravery and sacrifices, most often in the forefront of the batles, really exemplify the true mettle of a person. It is heartbreaking knowing that they often succumb to these stressful situations that causes hardship in their personal life and in the family's lives. I wish I were in a situation I could offer more than words, but that is my lot in life. Marines, everywhere, thank you for your work in making our country safe and strong, thank you for the sacrifices you make on a daily basis. May God bless you all, and help ease your pain and stress.

One reason I hold the military in high esteem, I graduated from high school while the Vietnam war was still being fought. Although the draft was going on, I received a student deferment as I was going on to college. A number of my classmates enlisted. Some paid the ultimate sacrifice. In college, two of by best friends were Navy ROTC and one was Army ROTC. It was an honor to see their commitment being lived out on a daily basis. While much of the country turned against the war, and in some instances, against those fighting it, even though it was not their choice, in my neck of the woods, we always honored those who served.

It sounds like you are going through some trying times. From what I gather, sometimes PTSD manifests itself at inopportune times. I hope that you have the love and courage to stand by your man. Help him with acceptance the best that you can, and be sure he takes advantage of any counseling available to help conquer this problem.

Answer 4

It's not just marines, so many join the forces thinking they are serving their country but soon figure out it is an ugly side of life, I was in the british army and found that what you hear back home is a glorified lack of details from what actually happened, this can mess with your head bcause in a so-called civilised society we fail to see what is really happening in the world.
For example - to see Saddams statue fall down in that worldwide footage, how many skull fragments littered the ground on the way there? You don't see this as you don't get shown it, people can be blind to see that you cannot wade into a country and take over with hostility without causing an uprising of some kind.

Answer 5

My husband spent 13 years in the USMC.
He was in Operation Desert Shield and Storm, and even though his platoon was only involved in one raid when they stormed an area off the coast of Oman, I can honestly say, he came home a changed man.
War does something to a human being. It effects them, I don't care how hard core gungy they appear, you'd have to be non human to be non affected.
Thank goodness they didn't get dowsed with chemical warfare, that's even worse than the anger thing.
The military should provide counseling to anyone who's been in the trenches, cause they certainly don't get it within their units, it's looked upon as a sign of weakness, come on man, suck it up, Semper Fi do or die. They need help, War is brutal.

Answer 6

It could be PTSD, best thing you can do is for you to go talk to a counseller for some advice on how to approch the situation. It's pretty tough to deal with and you can't exactly go up to him and tell him he needs to get help, there is no way to know how he will react. It would help to talk to his family and friends and see if they are noticing problems as well you may need to get them together for a "intervention" It can be hard for military people to admit something is wrong because they sometimes feel like they always have to put on a "brave face". and show no weakness.

Answer 7

Get your fiance to register at the closest VA medical center to your home. Have him seek Mental Health counseling there too. If he has PTSD, they have special programs for vets and family members. They have groups that even you can attend to help him cope with his problems. Do not hesitate to call your local VA, there are some great programs to help you get on the right track. Your fiance can get 2 years of free medical service at the VA also, and if he is found by a Psychiatrist to have PTSD, he can receive monatary compensation from the gov't. I know you didn't ask for that info, but its true. I work at a VA hospital and I worked in a mental health clinic there for 4 years. Saw this type of stuff everyday. Please know that you are not alone in this. There is help if you wish to seek it. If you have any other questions please contact me at my e-mail address.

Answer 8

Its PTSD and your marine should get counseling asap. My soilder has the same problem and we are expecting our first child in about 5 months he finally realized he needed help when he couldnt find this a happy occasion. Good luck.

Answer 9

They need to discover MMORPGs and learn how to meditate and relax more to release their aggression and anger. The direct involvment with life and death situations deals a stress on the body that normal people cannot understand.

Answer 10

Some of us are just lucky enough to be sent where our talents achieve awards, where here they may lean towards jail time. Others are scared and will never do anything but pantomime the act of war.
A bunch of us are going to be lost when we get home. What we did will be forgotten to the monsters we have become. If you want to thank us, yell at congress to decompress us before unleashing us back on you good people.

Let them know that there is a war coming home to America when my brothers and sisters return. There is a sub culture coming, and if we are not looked after we will be a plague. Let them know we need to decompress and stay with our fellow soldiers for a year after we return. Tell them not to thank us because it causes self loathing and hate. Tell them just to let us be with our own kind. Tell them to make Boot camp harder again so we are used to the shock of war. Tell them we hurt, and we'll hold it in for as long as we can, but when it escapes, it will be awful. I am nearly 40 years old, and tired, and yet I have the pain and rage of a 20 year old.... imagine how terrible a 20 year old is inside right now when he or she comes home after what we have seen. Tell them to look at the Army Rangers and the other airborne units and how bad it was in Ft Hood, and Ft Benning after they came home from a long ago forgotten incursion. The soldiers won't ask for this. The ones that do will be treated like traitors. It is time for our parents to parent yet again on our be half. Many of us are so very lost now.
We are now profoundly different then the children we were went we went over there. We are less human and less connected, and sadly America will suffer for years at the hands of the young warriors coming back home.
We are in battle Monday and home Friday, we are so twisted up and angry inside. At times it would be better to have never come home. This isn't a plea, it is a fact of transformation. Sadly many of us are dead already we just inhabit the bodies our parents made for us.