I am having a the worst time potty training my 34 mo old, he doesnt care if he's soiled, what else can I try?

Question

I have tried not using pullups and using underpants but he doesnt want to be bothered with taking the time to go to the potty. He has used the potty but only if I'm taking him every 30 mins and even that is like pulling teeth...

Answer 1

I know you dont want to hear this probably but he's not ready. He will let you know when he is ready.. and you pushing him evey 30 minutes is only gonna make him annoyed with it. there are lots of things you could try, like sticker charts, and rewarding, and books, and videos, but it really dosnt sound like he's ready. give him a bit more time. Good Luck.

Answer 2

I've had 4 children and I used this same method every single time and it worked great. Buy a potty chair with a tray that can be attached. For the first 3-4 days every time you use the restroom take him with you, sit him on the chair and read him a book or talk to him while you yourself use the bathroom. Between your bathroom trips sit him on the potty approx. every 30 to 45 min. and if need be give him toys, a snack, whatever to keep him occupied while he sits there for about 10 min. I used to move the potty chair between the bathroom and the living room. Every time he uses the potty chair make a big deal out of it with lots and lots of praise, hugs and kisses as well as making a point to tell everyone that he is fond of about his accomplishments with the potty chair so that he can revel in the his glory. Once he really gets the general idea leave the potty chair in the room of the house where most of the family activity is. This way he doesn't fear of missing out on anything when all the family is gathered together. I always bought a special gift for my child that they could look at but not have until they had their first bowel movement on the potty chair. Huge accomplishment for any just learning child! Once they had a bowel movement they got the special gift, just for them and all theirs to keep. After about 3 wks or so, whenever he gets the hang of it on a fairly consistant basis then start venturing out to shop, etc. Make sure you take him to use the potty chair before you leave and again as soon as you arrive at the store. Once my kids could accomplish the feat of coming home without accidents a few times in a row I made it a special occasion to go shopping just for their "big boy/girl" underwear. They got to pick out their favorite colors or characters. I know this will sound strange but trust me it works...every night as I carried my sleeping children up to bed while potty training, I whispered in their ear not to potty in their pants that I would take them to the potty as soon as they wake up. I never had a problem with any of my children wetting the bed even a single time. Good luck to you on this major mile stone in a small childs life.

Answer 3

If it's any comfort, my kid RUNS from me when he's poopy and I want to clean him. Evidently he'd prefer to be soiled too!

I think the other people had pretty good ideas, and I'll add another thought: regardless of how we agonize over it, different kids seem to have their own times when they're ready for things. Regardless of how little or how much we do, almost everybody is toilet trained by the time they're four.

I know it's hard to take a long view, but I can pretty much guarantee that in another 34 months this problem will be long gone. At least, that's what I tell myself when I have to chase my kid around the house so I can capture him and clean his stinky little butt.

Best of luck -

Answer 4

I like what Appalachianchild had to say. Another approach is to take a break. Just forget about toilet training for a couple of weeks -- or even until he's three. This can change the dynamic and keep it from being such a power struggle. When you re-institute it, use something he really cares about as a reward. Right now, your making a big deal about it seems to be his reward.

Answer 5

I like the sticker and reward systems... we tried them.. but our son still did not seem to care. Like yours he just did not want to be bothered in stopping whatever activity he was doing to go potty. He got the urinating down fairly quickly, but BM's were another matter... he was doing great for a while and then a bout of diareha caused a significant relapse.... my answer.....

I found his currency [TV] and removed it from him if he soils his pants. He just turned 4 and this is working well... He does not want to soil his pants.. due to the consequence.... I don't like to use negative reinforcement.. but in this case it has worked like a charm..... I only wish I had thought of this earlier....

Also, getting him on a schedule has helped.. He normally has a BM after dinner... and watching to see if he is acting a certain way, having more gas than normal etc... is essential in guiding him back to the potty.

Answer 6

You have a problem if he doesn't mind being soiled, but show him that you mind. Start rewarding him, not for going potty, but for having dry pants. Start having "dry pants" checks and reward anytime that you find that the pants are dry. It just makes more sense to me to reward for staying clean. Good luck and hang in there.

Answer 7

Get rid of the pull-ups and if you haven't already pick out underwear with his favorite character on it. Tell him, for example, that sponge bob doesn't like pee pee or poo poo on him. If he uses the toilet reward him with stickers or candy. If he soils himself calmly take him to the bathroom and have him clean up his own mess (with help if its #2).

Just stay calm, try not to berate your son or compare him to others. Not too many children enter kindergarten in diapers.

Answer 8

repeat repeat repeat try using the sticker reward system or animal cracker which ever works better for him and and praise him greatly when he does make it play it down when he doesn't. it only two weeks with the sticker system showing how many stickers he could pick and receive each day for making/taking the time.