I was married for 9 years and been divorced for over 3 years now and have two small children for that relationship. My GF and I have been together for 2 years now and we have one child together. We set a date for this summer but she wants to get married sooner. She says "I love you, we have a child together" and I am ready to be your wife. She has mood swings and has said something in the past that really hurt me emotionally and has caused me to question weather she wants to marry me for love or is it something else. I know she has mood swings and I try to say to myself that it is not her fault that she says things that she sometimes doesn’t mean because of her condition. She is currently on medication to mellow out her mood. She is faithful and loyal and I know that because I have tracked her. I told my GF how I felt and she assured me that she loves me. Am I just worried that my new relationship will fail like my previous marriage and need to get over it? Do I just have cold feet?
2007-01-08 14:48:30 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Why did you have a child with someone you don't trust????
Seriously.
Also, of course she has mood swings. You had a child with her but don't want to marry her! I'd have mood swings too. I'd be scared too.
She hurt you by something she said in the past. You're hurting her now and may have been hurting her then!
You tracked her??!!! Why are with ANYONE that you don't trust? And i know its not her fault you don't trust her... its your insecurities. And that may be why you're divorced as well.
You sound like a very insecure person who really needs to speak to someone about his problems. But, she is an enabler and should not have put up with your cr*p for this long! And you know it! And that is the very reason you don't trust her. Because you know at any minute, she's going to get tired of your stupid bullsh*t and walk!
Just out of curiosity, but was one of your parents an alcoholic? Seriously.
2007-01-08 15:00:30 · answer #1 · answered by Melissa Me 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you've already got a date set up. I'd stick with the org. date and not move it up. If she loves you and really wants to be your wife she'll agree to it. If not then there are others out there. Yes you do have a kid together with her that has no effect on how you treat em both and the type of dad that you are to the child already. My only true suggestion is when in doubt hold off the wedding if you're second guessing yourself. My first marriage was a huge mistake my second marriage i knew from the moment i met him that i was goin to marry him and i did and we're goin on 3 years. Yes i got a lil nervouse when the wedding got near asking if this was the best thing for him. I didn't think that i was good enough for him....
2007-01-08 22:56:41 · answer #2 · answered by Tiggs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its possible you could be feeling this way because you were married before. so you know how it goes your worried about it. but you cant compare any thing to you past relationship. as for the mood swings all of us women get them. so yeah we do say things mean things but we don't mean all of them just some lol..just kidding if you know that she loves you and is getting help with her condition then stand by her side and help her even if it gets tough at times because remember in sickness and in health is part of your vow. try to look down the road don't look back especially if your first marriage was bad. you just cant compare her to your first wife that's a no no! i think if you feel she loves you and you love her then go for it follow your heart as for getting married sooner maybe you both can meet half way on a new date. don't be nervous you wouldn't have asked this girl to marry you if she didn't mean anything to you. get any bad thoughts out of your head i think you will be fine good luck to you in the future!!!
2007-01-08 23:09:20 · answer #3 · answered by missaboo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either it is cold feet or your feeling something in your gut that is just not right. My husband wanted to get married soon too, but I was not sure, I have always been left at the alter or walked out before we got that far it was really hard for me to trust he actually really loved me and was going to be around. That was almost 7 years ago. We did actually some couple counseling, not because there was something wrong with our relationship but because I couldn’t trust in his love and I thought there were things we needed to work out before getting married. We also learned how to talk to each other when we get in our moods. He is Bi-Polar and has many of them. He is really the best thing in my life aside from our children. Maybe it would help you to talk to someone who is not bias with either of you and get an opinion from them. If she loves you, she will wait till the summer. Besides, it is not far off. Also if it were closer to summer would you still be feeling that way?
Best of luck to you and congrats.
2007-01-08 23:01:08 · answer #4 · answered by AussieMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you never give anyone new a chance, you'll never know what could have been, and you'll be holding both of you back by not trying it out. If you love her, she loves you, and you both feeling willing to commit, it's worth a shot. Just make sure that you really want her as a wife and that this "cold feet" isn't you thinking better of your pick of women.
2007-01-08 23:02:23 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter if you just have cold feet....if for any reason you have second thoughts you shouldn't get married.
You may need more time and if that's true you should take more time.
Getting married is serious business and you should only do it when your 150% sure it's the right thing.
2007-01-08 23:04:11 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read 14 of your Q & A
Your one sick twist
She will be lucky if she gets
away from you as soon as
humanly possible.
2007-01-08 23:17:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Robert De Niro once said: If there is any doubt, there is no doubt.
Think about it. Act accordingly.
2007-01-08 23:06:44 · answer #8 · answered by deni m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋