my mother is dieing of cancer?

Question

she went in to have glablatter removed they found lung cancer and liver cancer both in stage 4 and now she has brain cancer does anyone know how long it will be , knowing all this and the pain she is starting to have I dont think she can get anything done i think it is to far gone . she was alright christmas and then it hit after the new year cant belive how fast things are going

Answer 1

sorry to hear this. e-mail if you like-i'm a social worker/counselor.

Answer 2

This is a very sad situation, did you know the doctor she has should be offering advise and counselling so you understand what is happening and how long it could be.

People are all different and depending on treatments and response can have a lot to do with how long it will be. The prognosis for her does not sound good though.

Be strong and make this time special for her, paint her nails, give her a foot massage and let her know she is loved.

My father in law passed away from the same cancers and it was too quick, so treasure the minutes and time everyday.

God Bless xx

Answer 3

By the looks of it, lots of people have felt your pain, and that should be some comfort to you .Sometimes you feel like no one is going through this but you. I was a Hospice nurse and the only patients we took care of were cancer patients. It sounds like you have a pretty good grasp on how ill your Mom is...and you are right, the cancer has spread pretty far, and she sounds like she is going downhill pretty fast. I know how much she must mean to you and the only thing of comfort I can offer you, is she will soon be out of that pain. There is no way to give an actual time when someone might die. People rarely die of the cnacer...they usually die of a blood clot or the tumor invades an artery...or even pneumonia. Be with her as much as you can; show her how much you care for her, but assure her you will be OK...that will give her peace, knowing she can let go and you'll be alright. My thoughts will be with you.

Answer 4

My grandmother died of cancer in the brain feb of last year so I feel for you. My grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer 15 years ago they removed tumors, she then got it in her stomache they said she would last 6 months well they operated on her and she lasted 15 years. Unfortunatley once it goes to the brain it really does not take long because there really is not much you can do to remove it, well she was riddled with it though. You can have operations on tumers in the brain but the quality of life is pretty bad after that. She was in her early 80s and once she went in with the brain cancer she lasted less than one month but remember she had already lived 15 years. It is different with everyone and only God knows so just pray and hope she is not in too much pain. All cancer is different just like all people are different. I had an Aunt who also died of cancer and she was diagnosed with it and withing 2 months died so there was not much pain luckly. She had what is called Oat Cell cancer and I guess that is the fastest spreading one. I will pray for you

Answer 5

The time varies so much for each individual. It depends on how good of health she is in and if there is any kind of treatment available to extend her life. Sometimes it is better just to make the person as comfortable as possible if it has progressed too far. I lost my mother-in-law two years ago and it was her second round of fighting lung cancer. I pray you will get more time with your loved one. Make sure you tell her how much you love her each day. Those are the things that will bring you comfort. Also, try not to let her see you upset. Also, she may want to talk about death and while it will be devasting she may need to talk about it. God be with you. Leesa

Answer 6

My mother had colon cancer that started in her colon and then it quickly spread to her liver and bone. The doctor gave her a year to live but she only made it to ten months. Fortunately, we were able to care for our elderly mother at home with the help of a hospice team, i.e., house cleaners, nurses, aides, and counselors. The hardest part was seeing our beloved mother wither away. She lost a lot of weight since she had no appetite. But we all gathered around to make her last months fairly enjoyable. Too, she didn't suffer a whole lot because the hospice nurse provided pain medications right up to the end--at home. I feel your pain, I truly do!

Answer 7

my step sister started out with a breast lump. she was 28. she fought cancer for 8 years. it was horrible. she wanted to die but didn't want to leave her son alone. when it tuned into lymphoma it took about 7 months. From the sound of things it could be a lot quicker for your mother. Take advantage of the time you have left with her. Tell her the things you wanted to tell. You're lucky to have the time to do that. Not everyone does. It's very hard on you, I know but there are support groups that WILL help you. Keep your mom comfortable and don't try too keep her alive just because you don't want to be without her. sorry your life is being torn apart. that sucks

Answer 8

One addition to the sympathy others are expressing: don't feel guilty about this. There is often no way to foretell such a thing. It wasn't because you weren't paying attention; it just crept up on her. As it progresses- and once she is gone- don't fall prey to saying "Why didn't I see it?" or "What else could I have done?" It wasn't her idea OR yours. Be there for her all that you can, but remember that you're suffering in your own way and allow some compassion yourself. Too many people miss that highly important element. Be "glad" that it is happening fast and take some small comfort in that.

Answer 9

You need to sit with her oncologist and get a prognosis and timeline. I understand that this is a life ending event because I went through the same thing with my mother and sister. They thought my mom had an ulcer. They thought my sister was pregnant. that was the worst.

Anyway, you should look into how best to prepare her (and yourselves) in as much as one can prepare for it. Think about home hospice care if it is affordable or covered by insurance. So many times doctors take patients right up to the edge of life, but then leave. Home hospice workers will stay by her side through all the stages of dying.

Things are going to be rough for you. You will encounter stresses that you never imagined, and you may even reminise about life and times past. There is NOTHING wrong with that. You need to take care of her, yes, but also need to take care of yourself. maintain as much of your normal life as possible. I know that sounds dumb, but it is the normal day to day stuff that will carry you through when your mind and heart run away with you or your faith gets strained.

You have my prayers.

Answer 10

i'm so sorry. My mom cared for my fathers mom even as she change into lack of life of maximum cancers. Even after my grandmother treatedher like airborne dirt and mud all those years. she favored it contained in the suitable. inspite of the indisputable fact that it change into troublesome. My dad had 5 brothers and sisters and in no way one can raise a finger. i change into 13 and had to sit such as her jsut so my mom might want to have a nights relax. If there is no turning lower back then i wish you mom in regulation is going hastily and as painlessly as achievable. this stuff are very troublesome on the caregiver. by ways there state help in maximum states. call DHS and ask about having someone come by on a daily basis. (i imagine it truly is termed a service, my mom did it for a lengthy time period)also try hospice amenities. strong success.

Answer 11

Cancer is hard to deal with and unpredictable. If she's really in a lot of pain, make sure you and her doctors do everything you can to ease the pain.
My grandma died after fighting bone cancer. It was hard to let her go because I loved her so much, but to see her in so much pain was worse.
As for a time frame, no one can give you one for sure, so spend every moment you have with her as if it were the last.