My friend passed away last year , ever since then I am extremy depressed, I feel I need closure, and not?

Question

getting it. How do I go on with my life. I dont want her to think I forgoet about her if I just go on. I know that sounds crazy it seems to haunt me everyday I cry all different times of the day. How do I deal with this? PLease help this is awful I dont understand why I am still grieiving I am sure its understandable but,I think I was numb for the past 4months that now its sinking in. how do I deal with this.

Answer 1

Years ago I went to a therapist who explained to me why we grieve a long time over losses. Somehow, we tell ourselves that by crying or grieving we are still remembering the person. Part of us feels that if we stop crying, the person is truly gone. What you have to remind yourself is that crying will not make things change. Your friend has passed on, but you can still carry her in your heart and in your memories. Every day you live a happy life, you are living in a way she would want you to. You will always carry a part of her in that life since she helped to mold you into the person you are. Take care of yourself and I hope you feel better.

Answer 2

There is no time table when it comes to mourning. I know a teacher of mine who mourned the loss of a loved one for about 10 years...some mourn (usually) 1-3 years so you are perfectly normal. I am sorry you are hurting. As a Christian; I find my solace in Christ and my faith. Whether you are a Christian or not; please do share you feelings with someone you are really close to (someone who would appreciate your emotions and be there to hold you at nights when the darkness seems too much to bare). Also, it might be a beautiful thing (I think) to do something in rememberance of her ( but would make you happy as well); - lets says you are into gardening- then maybe plant a tree and dedicate it her; or if you are into teddy bears -get a customized stuffed animal that you can hold and cuddle so that it will always remind you of your friend. Something else I really like; you can even buy a star and name it after her. (do a search for the "star registry")..the options are enless...(they might be a little corny, buy it does help if the things that make you happy also can provide a subtle reminder of your friend)

It is imperative that you do not suffer alone. No matter what you do; you need to talk to someone..you might be sinking into a depressive state and not even know it. (whether its a family member or a friend; The Holy Word; or uplifting songs) mourning is much more more manageable with a shoulder to lean on

Answer 3

What you are saying is not crazy at all. Grief is a very personal very individual process. There is no formula that you should be fitting into or following. It sounds fairly recent from what you say, and completely understandable. A loss of a loved one is tremendously painful, stressful and a very heavy burden to handle, especially without help. I would suggest talking to your doctor (if you like him/her and have a good rapport) to refer you to get some counselling. Talking with a professional who is trained and experienced with grief and loss can help.

My sister in law has been dealing with the loss of her husband two years ago, and she has benefited tremendously from grief counselling.

I would also suggest looking in the book store for some books written by reputable sources on loss and grief.

I don't know how you feel about the "afterlife" or what your belief system is, but doing some research into this can also help to bring some closure and healing.

Good luck and God bless.

Answer 4

Turn to Jesus, He can help.

These hotlines can help you too:

HELP WITH MENTAL PROBLEMS

Mental Health Info Source 1-800-447-4474 Mental Health Resources and Information

National Institute of Mental Health 1-888-ANXIETY Mental Health Resources and Information

SUICIDE PREVENTION

Suicide & Crisis Hotline [phone] Help for Troubled Teens

National Hope Line Network 1-800-784-2433 Suicide Prevention

SOMEONE TO TALK ABOUT IT TO

Talk Zone 1-800-475-TALK Peer Counselors

Teen Help Line 1-800-400-0900 Help Line For Troubled Teens

Teen Hot Line 1-800-747-8336 Hot Line For Troubled Teens

VOICES In Action, Inc. 1-773-327-1500

Youth Development International 1-800-HIT-HOME (448-4663) Youth Crisis Hotline

National Crisis Line 1-800-334-4357 Crisis Help Line

National Youth Crisis Hotline [phone] Youth Crisis Hotline

Answer 5

I'm so sorry you are having this problem. I wish I could promise a quick solution, but that solution is in you. Tell your Closest friend you are depressed and why you are depressed. After you talk about it, do something for me. Every morning get up out of bed. Say to yourself it's a good day. Shower, get dressed and go outside even if it is look at the sky. When you think of your friend, think of the good she brought into your life. God Bless you. Someone cares about you and your friend would not want you to feel the way you do, she would want you to be happy.

Answer 6

Well i guess i would suggest to go and see a therapist, and they can also tell you some good books to read, cause i have had to deal with this more then once. You don't forget them, and they know that, they are looking down on you, and seeing your pain your in . Now she would not want that, yes she would want to be remember, and you do that . So just do something speical maybe around that time of year, to honor her memory, cause she was here, she did live, and she was your friend. So don't worry she knows u miss her and are sad, but you need to go on in your life and she would want that. you are not going to forget her.

Answer 7

Write a letter to her telling her how much you miss her and letting her know what your intentions are about moving on. Also, some things that therapists do to finish "unfinished business" is to do the "empty chair" technique. This is where the person talks to an empty chair to help them with closure. They express themselves, their thoughts and feelings. You might not want to do this alone though. Have someone there that you trust. Hope this helps you. You sound like you two were great friends.

Answer 8

okay listen to me...there is no need for depression. If she had some bad secret u didnt tell, well tis too late now....but still tell someone...but if she was really ur friend she would want u to be happy, and she would want u to make new friends...no dont forget her, and i know u never will...but dont focus ur life on the past...instead of realiving the past, why not make a brighter g=future for urself. she would want u too...jsut keep her in ur thoughts and prayers,,,and i know she wont mind...if she was ur friend....death is somthing that happens....life is somthing htat is still happening..although it is hard, we must live on and fight to save other inocent lives in the future...maybe instead of fucusing ur thoughts on her death and depression.....maybe u can focus on why she dies, and on medical reserach to help figure out why.

Answer 9

There's no time limit on grieving. The pain and sense of loss never go away but they get better in time. I lost my mom three years ago and my best friend four years ago. It's been very, very difficult for me not to have these two who were so immeasurably important to me. Your friend wouldn't think that you were forgetting about her but she would want you to get on with your life and find some happiness.

Answer 10

I lost a friend of mine when i was in college. I'm sorry to hear. What you need is to give yourself time to really grieve. I think you have been holding it in for a while and it has made you depressed. Also it helps to have a friend that you can trust that will listen to you.