I need a all NATURAL way for my 4yr. old to sleep?

Question

He isn't hyper, his dad just left from coming home from his r&r from iraq, which he is back in iraq now, and he is having a hard time sleeping. I DO NOT WANT to doop him up on benadryl or medicines, i want a all natural way to help him sleep. He has been going to bed extremely late, 2 or 3 am, and he refuses to sleep in his room, says that he is scared and there is something in there. when he does sleep in his room, i will wake up in the middle of the night and find him in bed with me! he sneaks in with out a movement or sound. This isn't a bad child or hyper, he is very well behaved. Any advice that is helpful is welcomed.

tried the melatoin thing, worked like a charm,but i also want to try more of your suggestions!

Answer 1

You know the cause of the distress, so you don't need help there. Some methods that helped me when my kids were small included:

~ routine, routine, routine -- definite bedtime, even if it's temporarily in your room until the routine is established.
~warm bath at night
~ QUIET music -- classical really works while helping their brains!!
~ A nice, short bedtime story (don't get looped into 45 minute stories -- just a nice bedtime story to help language processing, and get them into a bedtime routine.
~ A nice song (I have a lullaby that I croak out that gets them to sleep even now! It's a conditioned response!!)
~Firm expectation that sleep is next -- act shocked if he gets up or suggests anything other than sleep. Night after night say, after ___ (story, etc), then it's your job to close your eyes and drift off to sleep. It does work :)
~ Darkened room, but maybe not completely dark.

I hope these tried-and-true tips work! Good luck!!

Answer 2

I have a 5, 3, and a 1 year old, I can relate to your issue. What I have to do is just set a routine, and stick to it. Consistency is the key! You have to make the rule and stick to it. It is very hard, but if you don't your son will walk all over you. I had the same problem with my 5 year old. I just had to put him in his own bed and tell him that that is where he was supposed to be. Set a bed time and make sure you do a nightly routine around that bed time. Ours is, bath, drink, brush teeth, read a book and then hugs and kisses and then bed. If they don't go to bed like they are supposed to, they get something taken away, or a privilege taken away. I hope that helped. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Try to make sue he gets plenty of physical activity in the afternoon, but curtail later evening romping. Be sure he eats a healthy dinner at least an hour before bed (2 is better, the carbs in most foods will give him an energy boost). A glass of milk at bedtime is good, as are bedtime stories. A light of some sort helps a lot of kids. We like to say our prayers for people we love (this also gives the child a feeling of "helping"). My daughter had bad dreams when she was younger, so I found an aromatherapy spray, and labeled it Bad-Dream-be-Gone spray, and sprayed it on her pillow at bedtime. It made her feel better, and the lavender helped relax her.
You might even consider a compromise: he goes to bed on his own, but if he has a bad dream, he can get in bed with you. This pattern will naturally reverse itself after Daddy comes home, just a few nights of snuggling will settle him back down. In the meantime, his sense of security will be helped by any way he can be in control of his fears.

Answer 4

Welcome to my world!! My 4 yr old has been sneaking in with us for a year or so now. He's never been a good sleeper...our fault 100%. I have no idea how to help you, except keep remindng him that daddy loves him, and he'll see him again soon. Also, it might be wise to keep the news off around him, just in case any of that crap sinks in to him...he might hear 'killed in Iraq' a lot, and equate it with his dad being in danger.

I bought my guy a justice league calendar today to hang in his room. I also bought shiney star stickers. I told him every night he sleeps in his own bed, he'll get a star on the calendar. If he gets to 3 stars in a row, he gets a special treat. Otherwise, if he gets to 10 stars altogether, he'll get a special treat. Here's hoping! ( with kids, they say that if ou can get them to do something for 3 days in a row, you can pretty much call them 'fixed'. (I heard about this through a kid's sleep book).

Good luck, with both your little guy and you're husband.

Answer 5

There is this stuff called Calms 4 Kids Forte. I used it with my son to get him into a bedtime routine. It is an all natural herbal medication that is in the form of a little pill (I mean LITTLE pill). The pill is milk based. You give them 1 or 2 every 15 minutes for up to an hour and a half. It is basically like a safer, more child friendly melatonin.
Also, as hokey as it sounds, have you spent the night alone in his room?? To see what "is in there" and what he claims to be scared of? My son did this in the first house we bought, when he was about 2 going on 3. HE freaked out in his room at night by hiomself, kept saying that "the man" was looking at hom and it scared him. I has NO idea what he was talking about, we had even given him a room with no closet so he had nothing to be frightened of... So one night when he was at nanas, I spent the night in his room, and it WAS creepy in there at night, you heard noises and it definately felt like someone was standing beside the bed. I eventually went to my own room that night... Long story short, turns out that a man had been murdered in the house like 60 years before, in that very room (we moved out shortly after that!)... so who knows, there might be something to your son being freaked out.
My son is now almost 5, and every room he has has since then (we move a lot, flipping houses) he is fine with, it was just that one room... You could also give him a flashlight and tell him if he is scared, he can turn on the flashlight to check out his room, or give him a walkie talkie that you have the other half to, and tell him to call you on it if he gets scared... it might be the comfort he needs, while staying in his own bed. Anyways, I went thru it too, so I feel for ya!!

Answer 6

This might be his way of showing that he misses his dad. My nephew did the same thing after his dad (my brother) committed suicide. My daughter did the same thing after I had to go into the hospital abruptly when I was preg. with my 2nd daughter. I had to stay 11 days in the hospital and she wasn't used to sleeping away from me. It sounds as if he's just unsure of what might happen next. If daddy can leave and go away, is mommy next. Just make him feel secure. Let him know you are NOT going anywhere! And if he wants to talk listen. The 4 yr. olds of today are VERY bright and pick up on alot more than we give them credit for.

Answer 7

I suggest melatonin. My son has ADHD and takes meds for it. I find that since I started the meds he hasn't been sleeping well. I took him to the pediatricean and he informed me about melatonin. To give him half a tablet. You can buy it for the cheapest at Cosco. It works like a charm. There is no negative side effects because this is natural. It is the chemical that is in turkey. That feeling of being satisfied and tired after you eat turkey is caused from melatonin. Half a tablet and 20 mins later he will be out like a light. Good luck with this.

Answer 8

Its obvious he has a fear of something. Maybe change his room around and buy a night light tell him a happy story before bed and even lullaby music may help. Maybe his dads absences have taken an emotional toll on him and you should take him to a counsellor if the other things don't work. Good luck

Answer 9

My son is ADHD and has a hard time sleeping. A few good ideas we use is a warm bath; books; crackers and milk before bed(he looks forward to this and goes right to bed). Also when it was really bad in the beginning(he got night terrors for 2 weeks straight in addition to the hyper activity) my doctor suggested a natural suppliment called Melatonin. It is over the counter and very safe to use for a short time. It resets the bodys natural sleep clock so to speak . A lot of people use it for jet lag. Just a half of a 1mg tab(very small amount) for a week we used it...set him on track and then we moved into the above mentioned things. Good luck to you it is so tough when they are up all night.

Answer 10

I love the way you asked this question. There is a totally natural way that works everytime: Let him sleep with you. That's what he needs. That's how he evolved to sleep.

Even if he wasn't enduring the horrific trauma of bush's disgusting and immoral war, he would still need to sleep with you.

Especially now, let him do so. Why wouldn't you?