I would like to intiate a date with a guy that I met in high school about 9 years ago. I've always had feelings for him, and I've decided that life is too short not to see what might happen between us. The only thing is that we haven't seen each other in several years... we've emailed each other briefly, and we are on each other's myspace list (as immature as that is, at least it's some connection to a person I'm into, right?).
He lives in a different city but the distance doesn't matter to me.
How would a 29 year old guy view being told that a girl from his high school days has "a thing" for him, and would like to have coffee with him sometime? Is this a good or a bad idea from the point of view of a man?
I just feel like being direct might be a good approach, and would save a lot of time... but I always think that, and may be wrong. I don't want to frighten the guy or scare him off because he's special.
Advice please? Is this a bad idea? Thanks!
2007-01-08 13:35:05 · 15 answers · asked by karuna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i should also mention that we weren't very close in high school; i was close with his close friends and we hung out a fair bit and he was always lovely to me, even when i saw him years later... but we were never "close" necessarily. not sure if that matters.
2007-01-08 13:47:22 · update #1
Go for it.
You only lose if you don't take the chance.
2007-01-08 13:38:38 · answer #1 · answered by zen522 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are correct, Life is to short. if you feel you need to let him know, do it! Be honest. Honesty is the most important thing here. If he is a mature person he will appreciate the sentiment regardless of the venue in which the feelings are put forth. If the only way you can tell him by email then do it. But i would suggest (this is me and no one can be held to my standards) to at least call him. If you cant explain to him that you are extremely shy. However you do it, just do it. He may not be here tomorrow for you tell him. This holds true in any relationship. My step dad passed away over the summer and there are so many things I want to say and should have. Don't let your insecurities and fears of feeling silly stop you from letting him know. You could live the rest of your life regretting it. Best of wishes.
Shane
2007-01-08 13:48:05 · answer #2 · answered by solidsnake_88001 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy I will tell you, that if a woman from my High school ( I graduated in '75) called me up and said that, I would probably have a coronary (with happiness) that she was thinking of me that way. Now in your case, the time from High school isn't as far as my situation, but I truly believe that if he is a decent fellow, and not in a relationship, that he would be very delighted that you would like to see him. You might not want to start out by telling you have a "thing" for him right away, test the waters first with a coffee date, as friends, and use your intuition to see what you can feel coming off him, vibes-wise. The suggestion of seeing him, if he is amenable, will be enough to get him interested, so you will see fairly quickly where his is at. Good Luck!!!
2007-01-08 13:44:07 · answer #3 · answered by Crowfeather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, a good idea would be to leave out the "you have a thing for him" and just ask to meet for coffee or a drink somtime. When you ask him keep it light and low pressure. You might spook him if you like confess love for him or somthing via email.
Id be cool with meeting a girl i used to know in highschool, as long as it was a laid back kind of meeting.. no pressure or anything.
Thats your best shot, then if you meet him and things click, move from there.
2007-01-08 13:42:48 · answer #4 · answered by Andrew M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might as well go for it, the worst thing that can happen is a "no, I would not like that" I doubt that something like that would make you two grow further apart. Being direct it the best way to deal with a guy for we don't take hints and we respect people for being direct with us.
2007-01-08 13:40:53 · answer #5 · answered by heavy_cow 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think thats a good idea. ask him if he would lik eto go get some coffe or some food. Have a nice talk and see how everything is between you two. If you guys have a good time do it again. If not you at least took the chance.
2007-01-08 13:40:06 · answer #6 · answered by Slappn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually it was in an e-mail where my friend Jenny got into contact with me after years out of h/s and we got together. It really doesn't metter how you ask but when and it sounds like theres no better time than right now.
2007-01-08 13:39:46 · answer #7 · answered by forgiving_madison 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do yourself a favor and get this off your chest. What is the worst thing that can happen. he says no. Then at least you will have to heal yourself. There is something to be said for, moving on. Life is too short and I am sure there is somone out there who will adore you, OK?
2007-01-08 13:41:21 · answer #8 · answered by pro1fit1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You only live once. Do what you want to do. It might end up in a great relationship.
2007-01-08 13:39:14 · answer #9 · answered by Donovan G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm...it depends. If you can get his phone number why don't you call him and talk to him. I find it a little tacky to do things like this in e-mail. It's just very impersonal.
2007-01-08 13:40:48 · answer #10 · answered by The Royal Followills 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its a great idea. but i suggest don tell him u've got 'sth' for him 1st. u know, juz hang out like normal frenz and im sure if he likes you too things will progress.
2007-01-08 15:09:28 · answer #11 · answered by sulaji84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋