My maid of honor has taken over! She has picked the wedding colors, style of dresses,and the list goes on!!! I have been point blank with her and we get in a fight then she changes the subject like there's nothing wrong and continues on like I never said a word. We have been through so much in 10 yrs and nothing like this has ever happened. I don't want to kick her out of the wedding but I don't know what else to do.
2007-01-08 13:29:24 · 11 answers · asked by Debbie S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I agree that she may be jealous, or maybe even living her fantasy wedding via you if she's never had one, or didn't get what she wanted. Actually, she may just be plain selfish, wanting what color and styles look good on her, not caring about you or the rest of the party. If it's settled, let her have the color and the dress she picked, but do what you want for the rest of the party.
If you don't want regrets about your wedding years down the road, you definitely have to speak up - firmly. Tell her you love her to death, and want her to stand, but this is YOUR day and you will be unresponsive to her if she continues with her behavior. If she's still being the bossy have-it-all-her-way attitude, then I agree that it's time to look for a new maid of honor. Maybe don't kick her totally out of the wedding, but demote her, if you think that will go more smoothly. If not, as hard as it would be to do so, show her the door.
Also, if you haven't finalized on the colors, etc, and just plain don't like what has been decided, change everything to what YOU want if it's not too late to do so. Maybe that in itself will give her the hint?
I feel for you, and wish you the best of luck! This should be a time of joy, not aggravation! God Bless!
2007-01-08 16:56:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you really need to sit her down and have a serious talk with her. Tell her that you don't want to get in a fight or hurt her feelings, but this is YOUR wedding, and you would like it to be uniquely yours! Tell her that you would love for her to help, but not tell you what to do and how to do it. Tell her your value her friendship and there is no one that you would rather be your maid of honor more than her, but she really needs to work WITH you a little better. Ask her to put herself in your shoes. I'm sure she would really hate it if someone were trying to tell her what to do for her special day. Good luck!
2007-01-08 14:27:29 · answer #2 · answered by KT 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, that is a tough one and I feel for you having to deal with that. You need to sit her down and tell her flat out (again and again if you have to) that it is YOUR wedding and you are going to plan in accordingly. Tell her though you appreciate her help, you want to have the say in what happens at your own wedding.
If that doesn't work and she doesn't get the picture, you might have to consider kicking her outta the wedding for your sanity alone!
Good luck and let us know how it goes!
2007-01-08 13:38:24 · answer #3 · answered by TTC Cycle#20 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is she taking over? In some cases the bride has the MOH do a lot of the wedding stuff, but not take over. Tell her that it does not work for her to take over and ask her why she is acting like this.
2007-01-08 13:38:50 · answer #4 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you've ordered these items based on her decisions, then she hasn't picked anything. She's just given you feedback.
You don't have to do what she thinks you should. And I strongly suggest that you stop asking for her advice. Don't bring up the wedding. Don't ever ask "What do you think." Just say, "Blah blah this is what we're doing."
2007-01-08 15:08:58 · answer #5 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Same thing happened to me, except my MOH was my sister!
You have to stop accepting her decisons as final. You are the bride, it's your and your groom's day, and the choices you two make are personal and special for a reason: it reflects your taste, style and feelings for each other. Next time she offers her opinion, say, " I hear what you're saying, and I respect your opinion; however, (Groom's Name) and I are going to do it this way. And stick to your guns.
Hope that helps!
2007-01-08 13:43:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you just have to tell her that you appreciate her help and your long time friendship , but this is your special time. its your wedding not hers and if she is really your friend she will understand the mistake that she has done. sometimes when people do that they can be jealous.. well congrats on the soon to be wedding and good luck
2007-01-08 13:38:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell her.."Look this is my wedding and the decisions to be made are mine, I welcome any suggestions you'd like to give me, but please let me plan my wedding."
It could be that, if she's already married, that she didn't get to make the decisions for her wedding, if she's not then maybe she's thinking she's not gonna get married and is just gotten carried away.
You just need to be open with her and tell her that her taking over is really upsetting.
2007-01-08 14:25:44 · answer #8 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What are you going to regret more?...her making all the decisions while spending your money or not having her make all the decisions and spending your money??
2007-01-09 04:17:11 · answer #9 · answered by Inquisitive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should talk to her and let her know and if she does not understand then kick her out! so she could learn her lesson!
2007-01-08 13:37:31 · answer #10 · answered by Melli! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋