Ive been "seeing" this girl for four months now. Were not dating, were just hooking up alot. I have a four year old son, hes mom left us right after he was born. This girl know that were not or never will be more than what we are now and were both ok with that. Well lately my son has been asking for her all the time. Shes so nice to him and she really cares about him alot, i honestly think she even loves him. Everything was fine until 3 days ago when he called her mommy, right away he corrected himself and said i mean ashley but its scaring me, hes so attached to her and i know its not going anywhere. Please tell me what you think i should do about this.
2007-01-08 13:20:52 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
You posted this AGAIN after everyone explained very clearly that you suck as a father ?
What are you hoping for ? Go read the answers from your other posting . . .
2007-01-08 13:25:43 · answer #1 · answered by kate 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is why you should keep your "lovelife" separate from your child until you feel confident & ready that the person you are with will share in your son's life as well. This way you won't have to go through situations like this. Children at this age are very susceptible to many things and we must be very careful what & who we invite into our lives. I'm a single mom of a 2 year old & right now I have no desire of wanting a friend of any sorts but I'm sure many, many eons from now that may change. And when it does my son will not meet this person unless I know it will be a concrete relationship that may ultimately end up in marriage. I already made one mistake falling in love w/ an idiot (his father) so I can't go for round 2. At this point your son is obviously attached. 4 year olds are much smarter than we give them credit. Sit down with him first & explain the situation, the type of friendship you have (well, w/o the actual details). Allow your son to voice his opinions, to share his thoughts & feelings and it may work out after all and STOP bringing her near him unless you are serious about her! Remember, right now it's about HIS life! Good luck & best wishes.
2016-05-22 21:32:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you made a mistake by bringing a female around your son that you don't care about . That isn't right it can damage a child for life . I would say unless you actually find a girl your going to have a serious relationship with don't bring your bed toys around your son and you won't have that problem . He is 4 he is realizing that he is diffrent and don't have a mom like other children and it is affecting him which is why he is acting the way he is . He wants a mommy .
2007-01-08 13:29:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOU should have thought about what affect this would have on your son before you "hooked" up with this girl. What I THINK you should do about this is find a foster family or an adoptive family to place your son into since you want to simply ****** and forgetem. Your son is a child and he doesn't understand that some men such as his biological father are ******* only looking for what they can get out of women and to hell with the feelings of others even if one of those others happen to be their offspring. Since obviously your penis comes before you son I suggest you find a good home for your son when he will be loved and taken care of and won't have a line up of women in and out of his life confusing him.
2007-01-08 17:51:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have created this situation and your son will suffer.
You need to stop having sex with this women, and if she cares about your son, enlist her help.
Just have her slowly come by less and less often. Gradually he will get less used to having her around.
Focus on your job as a DAD. My advice is to not date until he is 18 and does not need you. However, I feel that is not advice you'd be willing to take - so at least keep your son safe from the inconsistency of transient women. Do not expose him to anyone that you are casual with and if you do find someone you see a future with, do not allow them to get close until you are engaged to her.
If you don't change he will begin to think ALL women leave eventually. Talk about baggage he'll carry for his future.
Find a female that you will not be physically or romantically involved in - even if it is your mom - to be a stable and ever present female in his life.
2007-01-08 14:04:29 · answer #5 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That will teach you never... bring another woman into your sons life until you are in a committed relationship with a future. You have seen first hand the confusion it causes.
Anyone you are "just hooking up with" is the same as saying they do not mean enough to me to have my child get to know them let alone become attached to.
2007-01-08 15:37:31 · answer #6 · answered by CAE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop sleeping around with her. It's not fair to bring f#ck friends into your childs life for the same reason you already said. He is so attached to her and you are not planning on being with her nor is she planning on being with you. Go date someone and find a person you can start a life with and then bring that girl into your sons life. It won't hurt you if she leaves but it will kill him esp. because if he is calling her mommy then obviously his real mommy is not in the picture. Not fair to him, think about your lil man who is walking and talking before the lil man in your pants!
2007-01-08 13:28:18 · answer #7 · answered by jule9104 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you should have done is not let this girl be a part of your son's life unless it was serious for you.
He is looking for a mother. You need to explain to him that she is just a friend and that you know he likes her a lot, but she is not going to be his mommy. It is also not fair to her to let her get attached to your son if "it is not going anywhere."
NEXT TIME, think before you involve your son in your dating life.
2007-01-08 14:21:35 · answer #8 · answered by Marilyn E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, grow up - get a baby sitter and go to a hotel room. Don't put your child through women coming and going. He is too young for all this in his life. Each time you let one womann go and bring in another, he has to go through another seperation of someone he loves and then try to develop a relationship with a stranger -- who will probably leave, too. You'll be lucky if he doesn't develop a detachment disorder that will prohibit him from developing lasting relationships as a grown-up. Buy a parenting book.
2007-01-08 13:34:27 · answer #9 · answered by mel 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well if she is just a hook up then your son should not have any relationship with her at all. Nothing!!!!! Not even see her. This will probably hurt him when she is no longer around. You should be scared he will be upset for awhile stop before it gets too bad or maybe you should see if you two can work at a relationship
2007-01-08 13:26:47 · answer #10 · answered by goodmommy22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe in the future you should consider keeping the girls that are only for sex, away from your son, so he doesnt get attatched. But since youve already gotten yourself into this, do you think you could keep this girl as a friend? sounds like you communicate, maybe you could stay friends, and she could visit you guys, cant you explain to him that she's just a good friend of yours? and then he still see's her... Good Luck, being a single parent is very hard.
2007-01-08 13:30:27 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋