Rate my poem?

Question

I must warn u this is not like one of thosehappy, cheerfulish poems..
here ya go

No Title Yet

I Cried On What You Said
Those Awful Words Made Me Hurt Inside My Head
They Never Gone Away, Not Even Half
They Just Sat In My Head As If They Laughed
I Try To Shake My Head
To Get Rid Of Those Words
But All I Feel Is Me Getting Worse
I Try And Try To Make Them Go Away
But Its Like Your In My Head Telling Them To Stay
All I Wanted Was Some Peice And Quite
But I Got Your Words Up Inside My Head
Hurting Me Instead
By Yelling Those Awful Words That You Have Said.

rate from 1 to 10....tell me what to do to improve

Answer 1

9/10

Answer 2

10

Answer 3

This poem is amazingly good for a newbie, there is defiantly some helpful imagery in it, in spite of the undeniable fact that it sorts of lacks direction, its somewhat puzzling, it starts off with you satisfied you've got here upon someone, yet they are not extremely yours? and then they go away, it really is a very good storyline, yet you want as an example a level contained in the poem even as they go away. It doesn't extremely rhyme in places, which i do no longer blame you for, rhyming poems are very very puzzling, so perchance you may basically try non rhyming poems to commence with. in case you in consumer-friendly words like the idea of rhyming nonetheless, try basically making it lyrical even as spoken, counting the syllables in step with line is that if you need to objective this. Poetry might want to be relaxing and extremely gratifying, i imagine you may proceed, you are able to make some money! yet you want to purchase a e book on writing poetry to truly get the suitable effects, i guidance "the ode a lot less travelled: unlocking the poet interior" by way of Stephen Fry, he's superb and and extremely relaxing.

Answer 4

9/10

Answer 5

It was a good poem A 10 +

Answer 6

Pretty good poem. 7.5/10. It seems as though you had a limited amounts of words to choose. Remember that all poems don't necessarily have to rhyme to get your point across, but still good. You might wanna work on the last three lines.....maybe ..Yet still your words surround my head, hurting me instead,.....Good Luck Young Poet ;-)

Answer 7

This is fantastic! Congrats. I give you a 10...it could be the lyrics to a song which I would call Words. Find a pubisher or someone who can write the music to accompany these words.

Answer 8

I rate it 10/10 I liked it. I can relate.

Answer 9

I would give it a 9. Only thing wrong is some misspelled words. I like it.

Answer 10

OMG thats so sad!! 10/10

the only thing is u have to fix sum words:

peice should be peace

quite should be quiet

and maybe you could switch getting (from ...getting worse) to feeling?

your should be you're