and puts all the work on her mother in law to raise her kids one is 5 and the other is 1 year old the mother in law cares for them 24/7 the son and daughter in law live with her
2007-01-08 12:55:47 · 15 answers · asked by poptart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Stop taking care of the children and kick the bums out. (if the parents do NOT have a home, please, care for the kids untill they can get a home) If they refuse to obtain a place to stay, call child protective services and try to take custody. Stop being a door mat and be a mother.
2007-01-08 13:00:33 · answer #1 · answered by Pandora 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't under estimate the joy/enthusiasm of a woman who knows she's soon to be a first time gramma! She must have offerred to handle the "child care" issues (unconditionally) from the start. So she shouldn't be making any fuss now. If I were the d-i-l I would also TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE of having a full time child minder! I hear of too many such cases these days, which is what's causing the great divide between in-laws. And both sides DON'T get any sympathy from me. Rules of both parties should always be discussed BEFORE going into this kinda arrangement
or things tend to get out of hand and even turn very ugly after a few years.
2007-01-08 13:10:57 · answer #2 · answered by PikC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mother-in-law needs to set some rules and that is that this couple & their children move out of her home and make a home of their own. Both parties deserve their own place.
As long as they are all under the same roof nothing will change. Why should it when Granny will carry the load and be a Nanny for free. I hope it changes and everyone lives happy ever after. Make it a Happy New Year ~~~~~~Jill
2007-01-08 13:40:50 · answer #3 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mother-in-law.....doesn't only have a daughter-in-law problem....she has a son problem, too!
Mother-in-law should rule her roost with some rules!
You do not stoop to pick up toys again. You need 24 or 48 hours advance notice to babysit. The parents of the children will plan and prepare meals for their children. You give them a designated laundry night.
You are Queen of your domain, not a lap dog or carpet mat. Nothing happens without your approval. If they disrespect you.....you will have yourself to blame.
Starting with the New Year....these are the rules!
You can do it!
Good luck!
C-F
2007-01-08 13:05:50 · answer #4 · answered by Crispy_Frog 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The son is a parent, too, so let's not dump just on the daughter-in-law. He needs to make a home for his family and not expect his mother to become another parent while enabling he and his wife to become accustomed to the best of both worlds - ie. joys of children with no responsiblity for them.
Start with him. If it is your house, give them a timeframe to get out on their own. There are a lot of good suggestions given - find one that you can stick with and be consistant! You are being used and that won't stop unless you make it stop.
2007-01-08 14:21:55 · answer #5 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start charging them rent and childcare costs. That ought to get them moving... either out the door or at least helping out around the house.
Also... don't make yourself quite so available. As they begin to leave the house some evening, breeze out the door before them and say you made plans... so they could spend some quality time with the children. :) If they have to coordinate their activities with you to make sure the children are cared for, they may realize how much they're asking of you.
The more I think of it... This is a question about boundaries. You're the grandmother to these children. How your son and his wife choose to raise them is, unless it's neglectful or harmful, really up to them. YOU, however, need to figure out where the boundaries are for YOUR life. What will you allow? How many of their responsibilities are you willing to take on? Figure that out and communicate it to them clearly and lovingly. Then STICK TO IT!
2007-01-08 13:03:30 · answer #6 · answered by Amy S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have them pay u for every hour u work.I'm serious.This will shape them up. Get a back bone and tell them that it would cost them 5.00 an hour if not more anywhere esle. So that u want to be paid every week.If they protest then say thats fine.Tell them to take them somewhere that they think is cheaper. Then when they put that crap about, but your their grandma. Then u tell them right u are.But u are not their babysitter that is cheap labor.They cannot and will not take advantage of it anymore. Let them know that they blew it by useing u as cheap labor and now they will pay u or fine somewhere esle. Good luck from one grandma to another.
2007-01-08 13:09:57 · answer #7 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if it bother her she should just say that she is sorry but that she can't do it. The truth is always best even though it stings a little. At the end things will be better. Mother in law must love to do it or else she wouldn't do it.
2007-01-08 13:06:12 · answer #8 · answered by LittleDaisy. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can the mother-in-law say NO!! Then it's her problem and she should be able to live with it. She should tell her son to get his wife's act together or move out.
2007-01-08 14:15:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are living with you, hand them the paper and tell them you have several apartments circled for them to look at. Your daughter-in-law couldn't put all the work on you if you didn't allow her to. It's time both she and your son get off their butts and took responsibility. You aren't helping them by doing everything for them. You are hindering them. If you live with them, find a place of your own.
2007-01-08 13:02:21 · answer #10 · answered by lucy7 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋