convincing strict parents to lighten up?

Question

I'm 15, and many teens my age get to go out with their friends and have fun. My parents are different, and they are the common steryotypical over-protecting parents. They sometimes let me go out with my friends, and those few times that I can, I have to notify them with every little detail. My parents don't do curfews but I have to let them know everywhere I go with every person I am with. Over all, I am a good kid, with good grades and have never betrayed my parents' trust. HOW CAN I CONVINCE MY PARENTS THAT I AM A TEENAGER AND TELL THEM THAT I SHOULD HAVE A CURFEW OR AT LEAST LIGHTEN UP?

Thanks.

Yes, I want to talk to them, but I have no clue what to say!

...yes, more details:

I'm a smart kid, all I'm asking for is a little freedom. It's not like I'm going to go out into the world to do drugs or have sex. All I want is to hang out with my friends without having my parents breathing down my neck.

Answer 1

I HAD THAT EXACT SAME PROBLEM! What you should do is earn some trust points. I use to exclude my parents from my life, where I come home and lock my door until it's time to eat then I come back to my room. Well I started talking to them more, and informing them more about what's going on in my life. I just tell them the good stuff not the whole drama stuff. I also invited the friends that I hang out with over to my house to meet my parents so next time if I want to go out with them my parents aren't like do I know them, how are they like, and so on. You shouldn't really do anything to convince them as long as you earn some trust points because the more you try to convince them the more immature they think you're being. When I was 15 I couldn't drive, I couldn't hang out with my friends, I didn't get to spend the night*not even at my cousins*, I didn't get to go to b-day partys*not even my best friends*, and not even school events. What I did was communicate with them more and now they're like oh okay so who are you gonna be with and where at? I jus tell them on it so and so and they'll be like okay.

Answer 2

Your parents probably do trust you but you're 15 and don't have enough life experience to know how to handle every situation. There are many outside factors that your parents are protecting you from. I know you probably think you can handle any situation but when certain situations arise, it's too late to realize that you can't. Ask any rape victim or relatives of a murdered teen. May be hard for you to understand but they were your age once and it wasn't very long ago. Try to understand that it's a tough job being an involved parent. The easy thing would be for them to be your 'friend' and just say yes to everything to avoid conflict but that's not good in the long run. They are being good parents instead and doing their job. They love you and are proud of you and that's why they care enough about you to set limits. Someday you'll look back and realize what a good job they did and how they kept you from letting someone else mess up your life like a lot of other kids parents did. You seem like an intelligent, articulate person so they must be doing a good job.Probably not what you want to hear right now but good luck anyway.

Answer 3

Your parents may trust you but do they trust your friends? It's a parents right and responsibility to ask questions and to know what their teenager is doing. Could also be they knew how they were when they were teenagers and they are trying to prevent you from doing the same things. Have you talked with them about lightening up? The fastest way for a kid to rebel is to keep them on an extremely tight leash. Yet, parents were teens once, too, and things are a lot different now. They may worry excessively about you. Are you going out in cars? Don't get upset about them wanting to know what you are doing... that is their job. They're just doing it.

Answer 4

GEEZ kid , how much better do you want it? No curfew and all ya got to do is report in and who you are with and where?Count your blessings, cause I never went without a curfew(10:00pm unless I could show that whatever I went to lasted longer) and that was only if I was on a date with a girl. If I was out with my buddies then under no circumstances 10:00 pm and still had to let them know who,where, and what I was doing. Same with my kids 20 yrs later on the time and whereabouts. Now my daughter ,who has 2 boys 9 and 11 yrs old told me she understands my rules and their rules will be the same. Things and the times are different today with all the weirdos and kooks and nut cases out there so believe me when I say "When you have kids you will be the same way if not harsher !!!

Answer 5

At 15 you are still a minor and their responsibility. You have to follow the rules they have set out for you at this point.
Once you are 16, things should change. If they do not then you must sit down with them and talk to them, not get upset yell or anything like that.
You must show them that you respect their views but that yours need to be addressed also.
You should let them know who you are with and where you go, it is important in case something happens
You are their daughter, they love you and want you safe. It is not because they are trying to be strict. They know you are a good person, they are just having trouble letting go of their little girl.
perhaps if you start taking on more responsibilities at home and being more mature their attitude may change.

Answer 6

Been there done that. I'm 17 and I have a very over protective parent. Here is the deal,most parents don't realize the more restrictions they put on their kids,the more likely their kids are to become a rebel,with no real cause.
You should sit down with your parents,and tell them your true desires,I've done this and its worked alright. Don't use the excuse,"well other kids my age are doing this and that"...because it just doesn't make the cut,because what one parent finds socially acceptable,another parent might not. Write a list of things,and put them on your agenda to discuss. Don't feel like everything you say,will have you scrutinized,though it comes off that way sometimes. Most of the time,if you voice yourself in a tactful way,parents loosen the restraints.

Answer 7

Well there is probably no way to convince them now but over time they will see that you are a good kid. They love you and im sure they do not want you to get involved w/ peer pressure. There are some BAD things out there that can get a 15 yr old girl in allot of trouble and they are really worried about you. I'm sure you will not appreciate it until you get older and see they just care about you.My parents were very over protective of me and i found trouble and ended up pregnant at 17 and moved out and made my life allot harder for me than I should have,not that they didn't accept my child and me for being a mother they still loved me and my son but they just didn't want me to live a harder life. I'm not saying that you will do this but they don't want to chance this or any other peer pressures to cause your life trouble. Your parents love you and thank them for that. Over time they will see how responsible you are and they will give you allot more freedom. I promise.....

Answer 8

One way to build that trust is to have them, I know this'll be gross, drop you off at your destination so they'll see who you're with. As with the other answer, they do love you and only want the best and safest experiences for you.

You can also introduce the people you're going to hang out with so they can match faces with names.

You can even make it really fun by taking pictures of your buddies and stick them on the fridge with names underneath. This way you'll be able to see them constantly, but your folks will see them all the time and most likely will lighten up.

Having your folks go to the places you'll visit, not at the same time, also will ease the tensions they have.

Sounds like you're doing all the right stuff other than that. Best of luck to you!

Answer 9

I know exactly how you feel because my parents are just like yours, especially since I just had major surgery 2 months ago on my back. What I do is, in everyday life I try to be very good, responsible and trustworthy, and being VERY honest with them. Tight parents used to be my biggest problem. I wrote a list of ways I could let them trust me.
You should also talk with them and very calmly and honestly tell them how you feel. If they are good parents, they will understand.

Answer 10

generally, parents are protective of their kids..and you can't blame them for it. they are just afraid of the things that might happend to you when you are out of the house or out of their sight. i think your parents are an ok pair bec they trust you that they don't need to give you curfews. you should congratulate yourself with that. but don't abuse that trust..it's rare nowadays for a parent to give their fullest trust to their kids when they are out of the house.

if you want them to give you a curfew.. then why don't you yourself set a curfew to yourself? example.. tell them where your going and what time you'll be home. that way they will trust you even more. if you want you can invite friends to your house so that your parents could see what you guys are doing... honestly you are lucky to have an ok parents. me, i have to grow up in very(AS IN VERY) overly protective parents to at a point in my teenager's life i rebeled against my parents. something i regret but in a way was thankful bec if it wasn't for that experience i wouldn't be a strong person as i am now.