someone they have recently moved in with? as a "mate", not a "room mate". living 3000 miles away so meeting them is not an option and your child has been/will be staying extended periods of time in thier house. keep in mind said child has special needs and is not able to share feelings on the matter, positive or negative.
and what would you think if the 'ex' just tried not to tell you at all?
2007-01-08 11:47:29 · 8 answers · asked by nodumgys 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I would say you have the right to know everything when it comes to your child. He should not be keeping information from you, thats not very smart. He needs to wise up and start sharing information.
2007-01-08 17:54:40 · answer #1 · answered by Chad 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be really disappointed.
How well do you trust your Ex? Has he been a good father? Has he been supportive? Do you think he would ever do anything to harm his child? If you answered yes to any of those questions then you already know the answer.
You have a right to know what type of situation your child will be staying in. On the same token you also at some point need to let go and let his or her Father have some boundaries as well. Ask questions, tell him your feelings on the matter. Hopefully he can help to ease your fears.
If you really don't feel comfortable with the whole situation, listen to your gut. Do what you think will be best for your child.
Best wishes!
2007-01-08 19:53:53 · answer #2 · answered by I Ain't Your Momma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Separate yourself from your anger to your ex. Do they have good judgement? Are they good at protecting your kids in normal situations? Are they a good parent? Have they ever put your kids in harmful situations?
If you can honestly answer these questions and assess that your ex wouldn't put your kids in danger, then just tell them:
1. You can understand why they might not want to tell you they had a new love interest, but
2. You have a right to know your children are safe.
3. You trust their judge of character, and want to have a good relationship with all adults in the household because after all, that is what is best for the kids.
If you don't trust your ex's judgement, then it would be worthwhile to accompany your child on their first trip out - yes, even if it's 3,000 miles, maybe even especially because it's so far away.
NOT TO CREATE DRAMA OR TENSION. That would be really hard on the kids.
Tell your ex that you respect their decision to move on, and just want to be able to feel at ease in leaving the kids with this new person, so you wanted to be in town for the first couple of days of the kids staying with them, so if they felt the need to call you or felt uncomfortable, you would be there for them.
Always think from the perspective of what is the best and healthiest thing for the children. Not from your anger or dissappointment about your marriage.
2007-01-08 20:04:14 · answer #3 · answered by keengrrl76 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would find out as much as you could about the other person. since your child will be staying in their house and has special needs, it is only right for you to know what kind of person they will be staying with besides your ex! I'm sure your ex wouldn't let your child be around someone who would not be good to them. If you are on good terms try getting info, or better yet, talk to their new mate on the phone and find out yourself..good luck!!
2007-01-08 19:52:20 · answer #4 · answered by zoe and skylar's mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunni, I would expect my ex to give me the whole picture on whoever he is living with and exposing my child to. hell that is the only thing he should be doing...I would want to know every last detail on the person they were living with mate or roomate for that matter. in my opinion it is your right, the child is both of yours and you both have a responsibility to be informed for sure.
2007-01-08 22:52:34 · answer #5 · answered by ROCKER CHICK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you are well within your rights to find out who this other person is. But at the same time, all you can really do is ask questions and hope for the right answer...good luck!
2007-01-08 19:52:19 · answer #6 · answered by BimboBaggins 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder about this too. I share my oldest with his father and we don't communicate well (understatement). I would like to know who's watching him while dad works and other things but he's vague about it. My son is a clam and I feel uncomfortable trying to get information out of him. I feel for you.
2007-01-08 19:53:42 · answer #7 · answered by redebeth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL SINCE HE IS YOUR EX, HE SHOULD TELL YOU NOTHING OF WHAT HE IS DOING, UNLESS ITS ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN, THEN ONLY THAT HE NEEDS TO TELL YOU. NOTHING ABOUT HIS PRIVATE LIFE IS NO ONES BUSINESS BUT HIS..
2007-01-08 19:53:04 · answer #8 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋