im in love with my best friend but she only wants to stay friends?

Question

i am 21 m and she is 20 f, she has been my best friend now for almost three years and i have been in love with her for about two of those years. she has always been there for me she is even the reason i got into college. its hard to care about her so much and at the same time watch her date other guys without giving me a chance to even go on a date. she says that our friendship is too good to mess up but this heartach is starting to drive me crazy. how can i fall out of love with the best person in my life, and i dont want to lose the best friend i ever had. ?????????????????

Answer 1

I was in the same situation. My advice if you ever want to be with her is to BACK OFF. Just pretend you don't like her anymore, or you're going to make her really uncomfortable like I did with my best friend. Who knows, if I hadn't weirded him out we may have ended up dating. Our friendship even suffered because I couldn't let it go.

Either way you need to figure out how to deal without making things hard for her. She can't help the way she feels. It's a horrible situation to be in, but just realize that other than a physical relationship you guys can be as close as any couple and that won't go away. Good luck!

Answer 2

The best thing you can do is really try and force yourself not to think about it. Go out with other girls, do fun stuff with other friends. Really try to forget about it. Either she will notice that it doesn't seem quite the same as it used to, and perhaps reassess her feelings for you, or she won't, but you will have already begun the process of forgetting. It can take ages and it's crap and to be honest, everybody's been through it. If it doesn't go away and is still driving oyu crazy, sit her down and explain that you're confused about your feelings for her, and that you think you really could be more than friends, and that friendship is a very good basis for a relationship. Ask her to give it some thought, and make clear that whatever her decision, you won't let it get awkward. And after that, if still no joy, have a good cry and try and remember that there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Answer 3

Take heart! If she says that your friendship is too good to mess up that usually means she feels a strong attraction to you as well, but she's fighting it.

People are strange creatures. They always want what they can't have... The best thing you can do is to back off from her and not make yourself so available to her. Start developing friendships and interests apart from her.

Right now your relationship is probably on an even keel. The landscape never changes, right? So you have to make her sit-up and take notice of you in a different light. The best way to do that is to change the landscape. And that means doing what I've already stated - go and make new friends and find other things interesting to do APART FROM HER. Don't share with her unless she asks and then don't tell her everything! Make her curiosity work for you.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Ooo. I've been in a similar situation and I know how it feels. It sucks, doesn't it? For me, things worked out differently than I thought they would. The best friend I was head-over-heels for started dating my other best friend (a real rough blow and I was upset about it for a long time). While all this was going on, I took a long look at our relationship and found that I really valued our friendship a great deal. I also know it's very rare for people to remain friends if they break up. So now after two years my two best friends have broken up and they themselves aren't really friends anymore. However, I still have my best friend (and I eventually got over my feelings for him and am very thankful that we still have a great relationship). I'm not sure if this helps you, but I hope so. Good luck!

Answer 5

Back off before you wind up losing her. She is trying to tell you without hurting you more. It may be in yalls future but it isn't going to happen right now. The timing just may be the problem. Don't worry at least you can have her as a friend. It is better to have her as a best friend rather than nothing at all because of her feeling like she is being pushed into a relationship she just isn't ready for. My best advice is to keep being to her what you've been and who knows the future, a best friend is for keeps. Most relationships now adays are just temporary.

Answer 6

I'd hate to be in your position. Unfortunately you can't force her to have the same feelings as you do for her. She obviously cherishes your friendship and as she said it's "too good to mess up". You could always hope that over time she will give you a chance but until then don't pressure it. If you've told her how you feel that's the best you can do for now.
Good luck!

Answer 7

You cannot fall out of love from her because love is what keeps your friendship from drifting apart. All those years mean something and you cant take them back. Keep her your friend and be patient. You would be surprised how she thinks of your friendship. There is nothing more valuable than the friends you have so try not to worry about the future... stay intact with whats happening now. To sum it up don't try to ruin your friendship with her because she's the most valuable thing in the world to you because she's your friend.

Answer 8

My best friend David and I have been through this. PLEASE don't make the same mistake we did!!! Tell her that you love her. Don't take no for an answer!! It is really hard to look back when you are both married with kids and realize that you were really in love and that you would have been great together. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and he loves his wife; but we both will always wonder what would have happened if either one of us had made that first step.

Answer 9

it is going to be hard on you because you are her friend and you getting to know her every day more and more...The only thing to do is just keep doing what you've been doing since 2 years ago. One day you might just end up in a couples relationship, but you might just have to give her time. Maybe if you got a girlfriend she might not realise that she does have feelings for you. but dont persue until she is ready.

Answer 10

It would be hard to fall out of love but I think the best thing would be to respect her decision if you want to keep the best person in your life. Just let it go.