Why do some other parents feel the need to look down on teen parents?

Question

I was in the store a few days ago. A woman with a baby came right up to me and asked
"How old are you?" I answered. "17." And she said "Your young." Then walked off like I was a slug or something. I have a son who is 12 months. A daughter who is 2 and pregnant with my 3rd who is a girl.


Before anyone passes judgment on me I live with my husband who is the father of all my kids. We have been married for a year and a half. We do not live off of welfare nor do our parents help us. We live in our OWN house which is big enough for us all to live comfortably. My children get what they need and we work and are still in school and going to college.


How do I deal with this? Am I the only one who thinks this is incredibly ignorant?

For all the people saying he is an older man he's 17 also. We are not married but mine as well be. We already have kids together

Answer 1

regardless of age, that many babies in that amount of time is unhealthy. on several levels.
otherwise, yeah, its not really for a stranger to say what is right or wrong for you. though the fact of the matter is that you do not have the life experience some others may for dealing with certain issues that will come up. but then again, i see plenty of retards well over 30 with babies so that really cant be held against you. the other drawback for you is that you do have to work, and your still in school = less time with your children. my mother was just 15, dumb as a freakin rock, wouldnt recommend it...

Answer 2

I had my first daughter a month before I turned 18. It was hard for me because I couldn't get a GREAT job with just a HS diploma, I had a hard time balancing going to school full-time, working full-time, being a mommy, taking care of the house, shopping, and being a wife. It is something that I would not encourage to my daughter or ANYONE! Great for you to have it all together although getting pregnant as a teenager is not the best because your body is still going through puberty. I take it you probably have an older man, but it is not something that I would glamorize to teenagers or simplify. It is hard work. How can a 17 yr old support 3 kids?! Best wishes.

Answer 3

Do you want to know why you're getting so much grief? There's NO WAY you are emotionally ready to have a kid at 14 years old. You may think you're ready, but you really don't know what life is yet. Not only that, but it shows that your parents didn't do too well in parenting you, either. There must have been some sort of drama in your life to make you want these things at such an early age... AND just out of curiousity, how old is your husband? If he's around 10+ years older than you (which is what I'm really thinking), then something DEFINATELY went wrong at home with you...

I have a 4-year-old right now and I'm 26... You're gonna (well you were supposed to) learn a lot between 14 and 22... Now your life is just more complicated and if you think your relationship will acutally work, statistics proove otherwise when either party is of such young age.

As harsh as it sounds... Way to throw your life away... I feel sorry for you.

Answer 4

Because 99.9% of the time it's irresponsible. I'll be honest that I think 3 kids by 17 is insane though. The chances of you getting divorced and becoming a single mother is very high because of your age. How does a 17 year old own a house? What kind of job can you possibly have to have enough income to raise 3 children?

Answer 5

I am 17 i am also a parent. I do believe that teenage mothers get judged wrongly, and i know that some girls can suck it up and do what it takes to be a good mother at such a young age. But what i don't believe is that anyone young or old could afford to have a happy family life, support near three kids , go to school and have jobs.
I am supporting my family to and that isn't possible, you are not old enough to have done any apprenticeships to have trades and well paying jobs that good don't come around like that especially to people who haven't finished school.

Answer 6

Well, I think that the reason that adults look down on young parents is because that was considered to be "very innapropriate" behavior. Still to have 3 kids at 17 is very young. I'm not judging you or anything...so don't get upset. But, it has to do with the way that things were when the people were brought up. They are just dissapointed to see things changing.

But, good job for taking care of your kids. That's probably another reason that people get upset. They are afraid for the children of our future.

But, you said that you have everything under control.
So GREAT!

Answer 7

It's because of statistics. Most people see you and assume that you are unmarried, on welfare and uneducated. That's the case for a lot of teen moms, but not all. I had my first child at 18 and my second at 19. I've had a lot of rude comments made to me. I have some college education. I'm not on welfare. I am married (now). We actually just got married. My kids are loved, well behaved, and very taken care of. Some of the comments I've heard were: "Do you know who the father is?" And there's always the one that I "trapped" my husband. I didn't know you could trap a man when you are living with him and he sees the birth control patch on you everyday. People are stupid. Just ignore them. Hey, if they comment about your age just say "I know, but at least I won't be dead when they get married."

Answer 8

Maybe you are doing just fine with two children and baby #3 on the way but think about all of those other young Mothers who are living off the system. Welfare takes money from taxpayers, hence why society is not always happy to see young people reproducing without taking any responsibility for their actions. Good for you, it's good to hear of people in your situation who are handling things with a firm grip on reality. People tend to judge what they don't understand, or in this case what they misunderstand.

Answer 9

Unfortuanately I don't think this is ignorant. I'm 17 and I'm tie free. By the age of your children you and your hubby have been having children long before you were married. And if you are doing all that stuff good, but people are going to think whatever they want and there's nothing you could do to stop them. You're taking care of your children, and you're married, so if they put up their noses at you. You can let it get to you or ignore it. Take care of your kids like you're doing and ignore all those others. Good luck babe!

Answer 10

Great, I'm glad to hear you have all your ducks in a row. You are really doing a great job. All I will say against it is - you need, after the third child to take a break. I was not quite as young but had my children really fast like you and brought on a physical problem and had to have an operation - was affected for the rest of my life by the results. Please take your vitamins, eat healthy and get your exercise. Best of Luck!!!