Cancer and respect?

Question

My dad was recently diagnosed with cancer, and I'm afraid that I think not only I am losing respect for him, he is losing respect for himself. I don't really know how to cope with it, I've never been in a situation like this before. I guess I don't have a question, but more or less support, or what I can do so I feel better for him, and he feels better for himself.

Answer 1

I don't understand you losing respect for your father. His reaction to this diagnosis may make him very moody and hard to get along with but he sure needs your support right now. I was diagnosed with lymphoma in November of this year . My family has been at my side throughout all of it. WE bring each other up when we get down. We have 3 daughters and have always been a very close family. Maybe it is time to put your best foot forward and fine some closeness with your father. I think it would help you and I know it would help him. God bless.

Answer 2

Why are you losing respect for him? Why is he losing respect for himself?

Cancer isn't something that bad people get. I don't think I understand why your coming from where you are coming from. If I did I could likely be of more help.

Cancer is horrible to go through, for everyone in the family. Don't be afraid to reach out, there are support groups just for family members of the cancer patient.

Answer 3

There are some very good web sites you can check out that offer excellent information on current treatment and support. Start with the American Cancer Society, and the Lance Armstrong Foundation. You dad may feel embarrased about having cancer, depending on where it is located, or feel like because men are supposed to be the bread winners and strong and virile and now he feels so bad because of the treatements/surgery or whatever type of treatment he has decided to undergo. Cancer isn't necessarily a death sentence. I felt that way 14 years ago when my younger sister was diagnosed with it. She is still going strong and has been cancer free for a very long time. I too had cancer just over 2 years ago and so I know what it feels like.

Please reach out to your dad to let him know you care. If it's hard to tell him in person, write him a letter, or keep a journal to help you work out your feelings about how what your dad is going through is affecting your life. When my husband told our boys not to bother me because I was sick. I told them I wasn't sick, I just needed to deal with chemo and radiation to prevent me from getting sick. The unfortunate thing about chemo and radiation is it does make you feel like crap, but it's temporary.

Answer 4

I lost an aunt to cancer 3 and a half years ago and I never lost respect for her. Just let your dad know that you'll always be there for him and there's no reason to lose respect for himself. People don't choose to have cancer. Just let him know that you'll always be there

Answer 5

My father in law lived with cancer for fourteen years before he got it checked out, - he was depressed, moody and in a lot of pain. He didn't bother seeing a doctor and just automatically assumed he was going to die. It was skin cancer, he went to a doctor one day, they chopped it out two weeks later and told him he was a wally for waiting so long!
You didn't say which cancer you're dad has? I recommend you do a lot of research about it, maybe have a word with a doctor. Don't ask him to talk about it because for my father in law it was totally hushed up - I guess he felt ashamed, that he's less of a man because he can't look out for his family. Or he just didn't want any fuss. So just let him come to you. Good luck.

Answer 6

Getting him this book will probably help.
"Beating Cancer with Nutrition", by Patrick Quillin

This book gets great reviews at Amazon.com.
The book is in stock at http://bioinnovations.net.
I have ordered from them many times.

Answer 7

you shouldnt feel like that he has a hard fight ahead of him and will need all the respact and support he can get either change your ways or go ahead and tell him good bye now