What is wrong with my daughter?

Question

I've had to put her in time out for being disrespectful to my mother(her grandmother) then she went and told a big lie to her father. She won't stop throwing things on the ground. We went shopping today with my mother and she threw a big tantrum. I had to spank her twice. This just happened today. What should I do? Also she is 2 years old. However she does know right from wrong and she knows she isn't supposed to do this. I tried firmly telling her to stop. She hit me in the face and said "shut up momma" Also anti-spankers please do not force your views on you. The only spankings I do is a few smacks on the bottom or 1 hit on the hand. It usually get's their attention.

Answer 1

Sorry to say this.. but she is 2. That is how they act. She is testing her boundaries. When she tells you to shut up and stuff, explain to her that that hurts Mommy's feeling. Perhaps if she sees that you are sad it will help. I haven't quite figured out how to get them to be good but I have found that talking to them does help. Even at a young age. Good luck


To other answerer's: I don't believe she asked to be judged by the amount of children she had. How is judging her helping?? Goodness sakes, leave your opinions about teen pregnancy at the door or don't respond. Like she doesn't get enough crap when she goes out. Glad so many of you are saints!!! (Sorry I hate that.)

Answer 2

What's wrong with her is that she is two! My seventeen month old does a lot of the same stuff, but luckily she is very distractable so all I have to do is say, "Hey look at that" and she forgets all about her tantrum. Don't worry, she'll outgrow it. Your best bet is to be as calm as you can be (I know that is hard) and pick her up and remove her from the place (or take her to a quiet spot in the store) and tell her that you understand that she is upset but that she is not allowed to behave that way. Most two year olds have these melt downs because they are frustrated that they don't have control over their lives. By being sympathetic, she will calm down quicker. Good luck, and no matter what, she will outgrow this stage, so hang in there!

Answer 3

My daughter is nearing 3yrs and this year has been the most trying for us. I had a hard time being strict with her and setting ground rules. It was heartbreaking to be a tough mommy. My kid has excellent manners but liked to get her way all the time and loved to throw tantrums and sometimes hit. But once I had enough and was embarrassed by my very badly behaved kid many times I caught onto the realization that she needed ME to be the disciplinarian and I needed to step up. I spanked and got no where. I started talking to her and taking the time to show and explain to her why what she was doing was wrong. This WORKED!! Kids don't learn to behave correctly on their own, they are too young to get that. And I know parents who spank don't like to hear that "spanking kids only teaches them that hitting is ok, if you are bigger than the little person you are hitting" but its true and I saw that in my kids eyes and it broke me.
Now I am a tough but still loving mommy and she listens more and doesn't have a meltdown everytime she hears "no".

Answer 4

Sounds like you have a 2 year old all right. At that stage they are constantly trying to test their boundaries. Know that this is normal and try not to let it stress you out too much. The main thing is be consistent, if you don't she will definitely take advantage. Even at that age they are very smart. Try using time outs as opposed to hitting (although I know that in the heat of the moment it's hard to restrain from hitting). However, hitting just teaches her that violence is the answer when you are unhappy or upset.

Good luck.

Answer 5

You are missing the point. Listen to the answer I gave you. Spanking obviously isn't working for you. Find another alternative. Hitting teaches her that hitting is okay. Go to the site I gave you. It will really help.
I have a 2 year old and I never hit or spank her. She would never hit me in the face or use the word shut up. You need to take some parenting classes. She is copying you.

Answer 6

I am totally for a good swat on the butt for effect when a child acts up. Never to hurt, but just so it gets their attention. Just like when you're supposed to slap an hysterical person to get them to snap out of it. They''re so out of control, you have to get their attention before you can reason with them. Anyway, it is the "terrible twos," but if you don't learn how to exert your authority, it's going to be the terrible teens before long and terrible the whole time in between. In a nutshell, the child doesn't acknowledge that you are the authority. She doesn't acknowledge your authority because you don't. She senses that you doubt your power. Have you watched any of the reality nanny shows? Or, for that matter, and don't laugh, the Dog Whisperer? Really, it's the same thing. Pets and kids. You have to let them know who is in charge and whether you hit or try to reason with them, neither will work if the child does not acknowledge your authority. Anway, they basically say, that even though the words of authority are coming out of your mouth, the child (or dog) can sense that you doubt yourself and are afraid of being in charge. Once you acknowledge to yourself, and it's easier said than done, that you truly are in charge, they begin to listen and obey without question. If you won't get a book, watch some of these shows.

Answer 7

She threw a tantrum because she is two, and that is what two year olds do.
At this age, children are just seeking attention, and also trying to assert their individuality, which gets them the attantion they are seeking, for they will do things that annoy you for their reaction.
Instead of getting stressed, relax and ignore the stuff you don't want to see her doing. Praise the things she does right and well, and you'll see that she will respond to it.
Positive attention is better for you and her than the attention she gains for being 'naughty'.

Answer 8

she's 2...you will have to tell her 100,000 million times not to do something and then maybe another 100,000 million until they get it. it's her age. i know lots of 2 year olds that hit, that is how they "act out". Try talking to her and telling her its wrong. it will take a while but she'll get it! Also try time outs, they work wonders. A tap on the butt every now and then is not wrong, but don't do it out of anger. Its not fair to her or you. She will grow out of the hitting phase, and she will start listening, but probably not until she's 18 (and maybe not even then!) :)

Answer 9

Little kids can't help themselves. It's impulsive. Even if they know they're not suppost to be doing something they just can't stop. You're gonna have to just ride it out. But as for the shut up stuff. She has to be hearing it somewhere. So maybe you should watch what people are saying around her. Children are like sponges ya know?

Answer 10

there is not a thing wrong with your little one. She is just trying to a person, no, this is not how to be. So try to redirect her anger. And don't get me wrong, but hitting never works in this stage. Manly because she is in an anger mood, and she will fight you.