Jehovas witnesses,why are you so aloof toward non-JWs?

Question

There are quite a few JWs near to where I live.None of them integrate with non JWs and the one I see every morning and evening does his best not to catch my eye.
His wife used to be friendly with my wife and then suddenly stopped.We are certain he is behind this decision and we are aware that JWs clearly recognise the man as master of the house.
We have offered assistance with various issues on numerous occasions and have always been politely refused.Yet then we see them struggling.
Are some of the men insecure and find comfort in the private and comfortable bosom of the JW world?
I get the most truthful answers from former JWs.
Existing JWs tend to repeat stock answers without depth.

No disrespect intended.
Truth sought.

Answer 1

I am a former Jehovah's Witness. I grew up as one. The reason that they are this way is because at 1 Cor 15:33 it says bad associations spoil useful habits. They consider anyone who isn't a Jehovah's Witness bad association. Of course when they come to your door preaching they are going to be nice but they would never associate with anyone if it wasn't for anything other than conversion. One of the characteristics of a cult is this: Members are encouraged or required to live and/or socialize only with other group members. It comes in real handy when they decide to disfellowship you. When you are disfellowshipped no one in the "congregation" will talk to you. That way you have no one for support outside the congregation when you are kicked out. You feel like you need to return to the congregation because they are the only friends you have. It's a "wonderful" cult method of control.

Answer 2

The question here is whether they should be an active part of the world, and which world should they be an active part of? JWs are not just here in the U.S., they are in every nation, in 256 languages, and wide variations of beliefs. Should those in the hot zones of the world, where terrorism is common, fully associate with their neighbors. Prior to WWI, should they have openly associated with the Nazis, all neighborly? One factor found in the witnesses, that is not found in any of the other religions of the Earth, whether it is Christendom or something else, is uniformity in beliefs and practices. Yes, you can call that brainwashing and cult like activities, because it is not humanly possible otherwise, but than that is what was said about the early Christian church.

Answer 3

First your question makes it hard to think you do not intend disrespect. I personally, and others I know on here, go in to much depth, so much so that Irecently answered someone who complained we type to much.

Your logic is somewhat flawed. You mention that the Witnesses in your area do not intergrate with non Witnesses. It could be that you are the one who is not being integrated with. This could be because of your personality or any number of other reasons. You said you prefer to hear from Former Witnesses. It could be that your neighbors know this. Many former Witnesses are bitter because they could not/would not live according to Bible standards. It could be likened to wanting info on someone but only going to the persons Ex Girlfriend. While the Ex may know some insight on the person, chances are some or all of her feelings would be tainted by being the Ex.

As your Wife I am sorry she lost her friend. Maintaining friendships nowdays are never easy, even among us Witnesses. Plus we ALL have our own personalities. It could be your Wife's friend has started to drift away because people do that. Feelings change. If that was not true more people would be friends for years. Sometimes people are often they aren't. It is also possible she got her feelings hurt by something you or your Wife said. It is a dangerous thing for us guys to get involved in the friendships of the Ladies as often we can make things worse:) While we recognise that the Husband has certain responsabilities as head this does not mean we see him as a totalitarian Head of household. If this were the case Husbands and Wives would never fight, as the Wife would be afriad. If the Wife decides not to speak to your Wife it is her decision. We are all free moral agents.

As to the offer of assistance please keep in mind we ALL regardless of faith have some pride and selfrespect. It could be they want to "Make it on their own". My Grandmother, a Witness, often accepted aid from any who offered. My Sisinlaw, not a Witness, currently says she will accept help if need be but prefers to do things on her own. It is a matter of Choice.

Are we Witnesses more comfortable around other Witnesses? As a general rule Yes. Why?? Because we have similar interests. Being involved in any religion should be a BIG part of one's life. Since we share this there of course is a bond. Plus as Wintesses we know we do not have to worry about listening to offensive speech, or being treated bad because we are a different race, or not Handsome, or not Rich. Plus, we can build each other up. Encouragement is nice. This does not mean that every Witness gets along with the next like Best Friends. There are some brothers I do not Mesh with. Others I do immediately. It is a matter of CHOICE. If you want to know why a Witness in your area feels or acts a certain way Ask Them. We are ALL individuals. If you POLITELY and RESPECTFULLY ask you will probably find the answers to your questions make sense even if they do not make you or your Wife happy.

To the woman who mentioned being taught to stay only around each other so that if one is disfellowshipped they have NO ONE to turn to. You are right and wrong. Timeout is the same basic principle. It gives someone who is erring time to think and keeps them for making others feel bad. When someone is Disfellowshipped it is to keep the congregation free from immorality, as opposed to saying God made them that way, and to give the person a wake up call. No one who leaves being a Wtness is ALL alone. We have jobs. We have associates inside and outside the organization. Unless someone is a minor or handicapped there is no reason why they can't go on with their life. If they are a minor, they have their family, who do not put them out as many think.

You say in another question that you know another brother who seems rather well to do. IS this the same one who is having hard times??

Answer 4

My first step-dad had two brothers that were Jehovahs Witnesses. They were the nicest, most down-to-earth members of his family. That doesn't say too much though.

I think that many members of religious sects tend to stick together and interact mostly with each other. Just like members of the same clubs, people in the same school, etc. Its about unity, comfort in numbers, sharing a common interest or belief. It applies to all sorts of cultural and religious groups, cults, demographic areas, people of the same socioeconomic status, etc. I think because of your personal situation with JWs you are overlooking the whole "gang mentality". It happens to people in all walks of life.

Answer 5

Jehovah's Witness believe that the bible calls them to be separate from the world or non-JWs. Their relationship with others outsdide their faith is predominately aimed at conversion. They do no really intimately (non sexual ) interact with non-JWs (except family members) because they believe that they will become polluted with worldly ways.

They are frequently told that they are the only ones who have access to the "Truth"; when you believe this it automatically means that ALL non-JWs are either duped by false religions (esp Catholics) or are willfully choosing to live against God's will. When you see people within a dichtomy like this you will undoubtely develop a superiority complex.

Perhaps this explains what is going on in your situation.

Answer 6

that is not true about Jehovah Witnesses. I am a witness and I am friendly to everyone, even people who are not witnesses. we go door to door like Jesus Christ commanded us to do at Matthew 28 verse 19 and 20. I talk with everyone. I really don't know why your neighbor is acting that way, we are suppose to treat our neighbors as ourselves. I try to help people even if they are not a Jehovah Witnesses. remember we are very busy people. studying for meetings, going to meetings and going door to door. if you are not interested and don't want us coming to your door, have the witness put you on the do not call list.

Answer 7

I am not a JWs but i would like to share my experience with them
i had a couple of girls, neighbours, very nice and friendly.
we went out on girls nights out and movies and so on.

Until one day they started talking about conversion
and when i didn't pay much attention to them they started becoming very cold towards me
to the extent that they didn't even say hello

so i would like to know as well what do they have against other non JWs human beings???

Answer 8

Aloof? I find them the complete opposite. We had some coming round before Christmas trying to spread the word. I told them I was Catholic and they still insisted on talking to me. I then told them I was going out (which was true) and mistakenly wished them a Merry Christmas. They told me they didn't celebrate Christmas and I said I do. I also told them that if I was in an accident I would want a blood transfusion. That got rid of them.

Answer 9

I had a friend that was a JW and she told me it was because their philosophy is that 'one bad apple will spoil the barrel'. I guess they just don't want to be tempted and made dirty.

Answer 10

Long and boring question...Next one please but shock us with something less predictable than the usual religion bashing. Better still convert to a religion and become subversive within it, rise to the highest echelons and then disban it stating that it was a false religion in the first place.
Bye bye