how do you comfort someone with cancer?

Question

my mother in law has breast cancer and started her cemo 3 weeks ago i practicaly live at hers i help her alot with the chors and stuff but dont really know what would be the best thing to do, is it talk about it, dont talk about it,help to much,not at all i dont know what to do and her son my partner is very upset as you can imagine and i dont know what to do with him either.

Answer 1

My step son had cancer, Talk only if she wants to talk, and listen when she needs to be heard. Also look for support groups for your family many hospitals have the contact information for your area. Don't do to much and let her feel like she has lost control over ever thing... here are some extra tips... Traditional meals mean nothing.. if she can hold down a particular food then make it for her.. My step son never lost any weight... through 2 years of chemo... Smoothies digest fast banana, real ice cream made with cream.. (most are not).. buy heavy cream make mashed potatoes with it.. sneak in calories when she is in between cycles.Hair loss is the big one...We set a date he was 18 at the time to cut his hair loosing it is very traumatic... anything else feel free to e-mail me

Answer 2

Ok, I truly understand your situation right now because my ex-bf had lymphoma cancer 6 yrs ago. He had cancer discovered only after 2 mths of diagnosis and was already at the last stage. I was also very upset and don't know what I can do for him and myself. I was almost crying everyday in school and at home. But I quickly come back to my senses & did my very best to stay by his side, drop by his house or hospital to keep him accompany daily after my classes.

Doctor told me once that cancer patients require loads of care & concern but most importantly, it is his strong willpower and urge to carry on his life. So pls do give your mother-in-law more encouragements so as to provide her with more determination to fight against this terrible illness. Also, talk to her more often, brighten up her day by telling her more jokes. Cheering up a cancer patient can make her feel better emotionally & mentally. But afraid to tell you that physically, it is very hard even though there is family support. Chemo therapy is an extremely painful experience. So your family has got to give her the FULL support, so she can persist and live on to take on more challenges arised by cancer. By the way, don't let her eat any fried food or food contains any carbon or charred portions. It can increase the chance of spreading cancer cells. Eat healthily and do some simple workouts. Ask her to rest more also. It helps in improving her well-being as well.

During the chemo process, she'll experience lots of giddiness, vomit very frequently, low eating desires and finally hair dropping dailly as the chemical in her body will be taking effect. But not to worry, you can always buy her a hair wig so she don't need to go bald & get upset over this issue. Trust me, try to cheer up her more often and it really helps alot in fighting cancer. It is all about the mentality in her head. And if you've enough financial support, you may wish to hire a private nurse or entrust your mother-in-law in the nearby hospital for caretaking while you & your family is out for work. Anyway, it has been 6 yrs and my ex-bf has recovered from his cancer, but doctor did tell him before that if he doesn't take gd care of his health, the relapse can come back again. Lastly, I hope she'll recover soon. All the best, gd luck & have faith in yourself that you can help her!

Answer 3

It's like any other sickness, be there sounding board when they need to talk. Be a great listener and be positive when possible. Your partner is hurting because his mom is ill and doesn't know how to cope. Be there for him as well, listening and comforting him when needed. Have many questions for the doctor involved in her case. Now a days there is cures that can do miracles with sick patients. Help out with chores when you can, and take her out for drives or walks, this will help if she is down and out. When your partner wants to talk, talk to him about the cancer. If she wants or has the need to talk about her illness then talk about it.The problem with most people these days is they don't communicate enough. When we talk, our souls feel so much better because the other person listening takes the time too care. Some things can't be fixed so the best thing to do is except it and cherish the time together. Hope this helps all of you. Cocoa

Answer 4

I suppose no amount of words will be able to comfort her. The best remedy i suppose as a mother would want her family to be safe and healthy and not to be like her. Stay with her, bring her to do things she like if possible. My mum has lung cancer and she is happy when we are happy. Its very sad to have cancer and its tough to go for chemo so do not bring the atmosphere more down and be upset in front of her. Accompany her the most you can and let her know she has all the support. Hope she can get well soon! No worries ya!!

Answer 5

I was at the spot you are in, My brother had cancer and I was so scared that he would dieand then he started cemo and we started to talk about it but I let him talk about it but you talk to her like everyday things maybe some thing that your husband did or you children what ever you can to help her make it through the days it is very important to make sure she eats what eve it takes and have her get up every so often and drink lots of water. she will start to get sick only because of the cemo be there for her . My brother is health and it has been 12 years and no sign of any cancer good luck and God bless

Answer 6

First off, I just want to say, I'm sorry you have to go through this. My mother has survived cancer three times, and I have had friends/relatives that have had it, and a few have died from it. What you can do to help is offer your support. Ultimately it is up to the one with cancer to decide what help they do/don't want. You're helping with chores, and no doubt your company is much appreciated. My advice, though I'm not sure how effective it would be for your mother in law, just poke your head into her room once a day and say, 'If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask.' Sometimes she may want to talk, sometimes she may want to be left alone. But never forget that she's scared witless; emotional support is as important as physical support. Hopefully I managed to help.

Answer 7

Give her the best physical comforts. Let her rest well. Don't need to talk too much. Give her the best food to eat esp nutritious food. Maybe buy some chinese medicine for her that helps to alleviate the symptoms of chemo. It's good that you are helping with a lot of the chores and stuff. Don't feel too guilty about it. It's not your fault. It's the cancer's fault that she fell ill. But sometimes, it's best to relax and go for a bit of fresh air by yourself so that you won't be overwhelmed by all the work and stress. Just do your best.

Answer 8

Why don't you help her to build up her immune system in order to fight this battle with cancer by starting her on some nutritional supplements?

Quote" Antioxidants helps destroy Cancer Cells & help good cells........ It is common knowledge that almost all of the harmful side effects of chemo- and radiation therapy to normal cells are the result of the increased oxidative stress these treatments create inside the body. What is not common knowledge, however is that when a patient takes high doses of antioxidant supplements, he improves the defense system of normal cells since they take up these antioxidants normally. This creates a true win-win situation. Chemo- & radiation therapy can work at a peak while at the same time the terrible side-effects & damage that occurs to the healthy cells is significantly reduced. Vitamin E protects against the damage caused by various chemotherapeutic agents to the lungs,liver,kidneys,heart & skin. CoQ10 has shown to protect against the long-term damage to the heart that the drug Adriamycin causes. Beta-carotene & vitamin A reduce the adverse effects of radiation & some chemotherapeutic agents. All of these antioxidants have been shown to help protect against DNA damage to normal cells that cancer treatments caused....."unquote

Pls if possible read up on this book. It had helped me so much and I hope it can help all people around me. You may contact me by email : [e-mail]

Nutritional supplements are not alternative medicine- they are complementary medicine.

Answer 9

Pay attention. Try and think about what you would want someone to do for you. Does she seem to be eating enough? Are her meds working? Maybe she could use some weed to increase her appetite? Does she need some ensure plus from the store? Her favorite kind of ice cream? What would make her more comfortable? Is there a support group that you think sounds kind of cool? A book that sounds good at the library? Just be thinking of her and she will appreciate it.

I told my boyfriend point blank that if he needed anything he HAD to tell me. I told him I love him and I'd do anything for him but that I can't read minds. I try, believe me I do, but I told him that he just has to be honest and tell me if he needs or wants anything. I made him promise, and he does a really good job. Sometimes I can tell he isn't saying something so I ask what he needs and I call him on it. I tell him to quit holding back and I remind him that he promised to tell me if he needed anything.

Answer 10

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