im in love with an older man...?

Question

i used to live in nebraska ,well i still do but also have a house in california ...anyways we used to go to school together when i was 15 and he was 17 we were madly in love and we kept in touch ever since were planing to go out for my b-day but the thing is after i moved we moved apart and got other compains he had a baby girl and a new gf im thinking of oving back after im finished with HS and go to college there and we'll raise his daughter alexa and the mom said she'd go along with it she doesnt like nick any more and doesnt take care of alexa and i ready to be a mom at 18?? right now im 17 turning 18 on jan 16 and he jis turned 20 two months ago

Answer 1

Two years does not an "older man" make. Well, chronologically yes, but not socially. You made it sound as if he were 20 years older than you.

The important thing is your education- above being this child's mother. If you think you can juggle both, go for it. If you don't think you can do that, finish college first. If he really loves you he'll wait.

Answer 2

In my opinion you should get your education before you raise someone else's child. First you're 18 you probably can't support yourself. Do YOU have two houses or do your parents live in seperate houses??? What does he do? How will he support all three of you? This may sound silly, but write down what qualities you want in a guy don't just act on impulse. Would he move and postpone his education just to be with you? What's so good about him that you would move across state lines? I wouldn't postpone my education for anyone. What if it doesn't work, then what? Two years older than you is not an older man.

Answer 3

Yes, honey.... you're too young to be a mom at 18. Period. If you plan on going to college and trying to raise some other woman's baby at the same time, it's gonna be the hardest thing you'll ever do. It's a full-time commitment raising a child, and with your guy not knowing what he's doing either, I think it would be much better to wait things out a bit.

Babies aren't toys, to be passed from one person to another, and you should only commit to this if you're 100 % positive you can do it. Do either of you have family who are willing to help out ?
What does the baby's grandparents think of all this ? Would they support you in this decision ?

Good luck sweetie, and I hope this works out for everyone concerned.

Answer 4

Well "Nick", isn't that much older than you I was thinking that you were saying that he was maybe in his last 30's or something along that line. Do you think that this is the best thing for you to do to come and try to raise someone else child at such a young age? I'm not saying that it couldn't be done or anything like that I'm just pretty much saying that you really need to rethink this situation, put your puppy love feelings to the side and think about this innocent child who may get attached to you if her mother is really willing to let you raise her and it then it doesn't work out between you and her day then she'll be attached to you and then she'll have 2 mother figures out of her life...
GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

omg
This is not an older man! Yes, you are young and he is alittle older but the way you were talking I figured this was a 40 yr old guy.
You are hanging on to him in a romantic way. You have a fairy tale version of romance and love. The two of you are way too young to be thinking marriage. The chances of him being your Happy Ever After man is slim to none.
Get your education and become who you need to be before you dedicate yourself to a man and his kid. It sounds like he has moved on with this new girlfriend. What makes you think he is waiting for you?

You haven't mentioned how this guy feels.

Love is so much work. It is hard work. There are so many variables that there is no way you can foresee what your future is with him.

Answer 6

Raising a child is a really big responsibility. Even if it isn't your biological child.
I applaud you for taking on this big commitment. But you should think about what you are doing.
What exactly are you asking in your question? Suggestions on whether you are doing the right thing or not? That is totally up to you. But if you go into this relationship and things don't work out...You will be leaving two hearts behind. Not just one. That child will become attached to you in some way and it will be hard on you too.

Answer 7

Do you think your love will last for the the three or four years of changing diapers, cleaning up throwup, comforting a crying baby that won't stop crying, teething and all the other stuff that comes with a baby? All the while you can't go out for any reason but your guy can and will and you won't know where he is? You're going to have to grow up awfully fast. Don't you think you'll miss your social life?

Answer 8

Darling, take it from someone who got married young, and also got divorced young. Enjoy your life. This guy had a kid with someone else, at 18 no one is ready to be a mother. I'm sure that you will have plenty of time to fall in love again. I personally wouldn't do it. Live your life with as little of a hassel you can.

Answer 9

You think 20 is an older man?? You are too young for all of this. Give yourself a chance. You will be amazed at how different you will be at 25 than you are now. Doing this is a mistake.

Answer 10

Two years difference doesn't qualify him as "older". Also, I'd pay better attention in English class, if I were you. First impressions are huge and reading what you wrote, in the manner you did leaves a lot to be desired in regards to a first impression. Not knocking you just my opinion.