how much and what do i tell my 10 and 8 years old boys about sex?

Question

how much should they know at there age

they talk about stuff that comes from school for eg when my boy was 9 he came home and said these two kids were having sex in the toilet at school and i didnt know what to think or say
and there little 5 year old sister is picking it up
things like humping ect she doesnt have a clue what there talking about but it doesnt stop her from repeating it

Answer 1

I suspect you should have started talking a long time ago. Now I'm not talking about passing on all knowledge, no matter how graphic. You should be passing age specific information starting when they ask the first question. Your answers should be age specific. If they have asked no questions yet, now is a good time bring up the information on your own. Books are a good way to open discussion. And there are a lot of them out there. Barnes and Noble or any other good book store will have lots of options.

My daughters had "What's Happening to My Body - Girls" as well as the boys version. They not only understood themselves, but also understood what boys were going through. Picking a book based on the age of your boys may be limiting. You should also take into account their physical maturity. I started puberty very early - late into my 9th year.

Talking early and often will help keep the lines of communication with your sons open when they are much older. This is when you really need to give the critical information about aids, std's, pregnancy, and the fact they could cause cancer in their girl friends by initiating early sexual activity. Knowledge is the key.

Answer 2

Okay, (Yeah, all of you old people are going to laugh and complain, I know. I've watched you.) But I'm only 12 and I'll give you my young person perspective; I think that sex is a natural thing, and you should teach them that. It's nothing to be embaressed about, and they should know the facts! You should probably save the whole sexually transmitted diseases for 11-12 years old when the mind is pretty much anything that parents or teachers have to give as a good explanation. The eight year old may not need to know "how" sex is performed, perhaps just how a child is born, and some proper names for the anatomical features, and the diffrences between boys and girls. The ten year old, however, may want some kinds of technical details. (depending on gender) For girls; For girls, and this is avery common and scary issue; is if it hurts to have sex or have a child, and what about that monthly "friend" they've been hearing about in the girls bathroom, and just what is that "tampon and pads" machine for?" For guys, it's a little diffrent. They may want to know some terms of their body that they are beginning to discover. At very young ages they may have already began to masturbate, and are just now beginning to notice that this is something every boy has, but what is it called? You cannot allow your children to learn these terms by unreliable classmates, they may have learned something incorrectly. I hope you have taught them that they should feel comfortable talking to you about anything, and that you have a healthy relationship with them. It helps alot, because it can make them, (us) feel like we can trust you with anything, and that we can know what to if something horrible goes wrong, or just that you could answer any questions.The choice of how much you tell them is all yours; I suggest you tell them, but in diffrent ways. I hope this helps you! :)

Answer 3

When they start asking questions - answer them (just that question, don't elaborate!!). Be careful of questions like "Where did I come from?" -- they just might want the name of the hospital. Otherwise around 11-12 they need some kind of sit down talk.

My son was about 10 yrs old and a friend 'watched' his parents the night before and come to school to tell all his friends. When I got home, I was in for VERRRRY specific questions - none of which I was ready for at 10 yrs old, but thank God I came from a wonderful family and had my ducks in a row. Things like "You will never HAVE to do anything you don't want to" might come in handy. lol

Answer 4

You will be amazed what they know already.When i was that age any adult would have been shocked at what i knew,so much so that by age 13 i was masturbating.I 'd say be frank with them and impress it upon them that sex is something adults do to make babies and sometimes for recreation,but you only do it with someone you like that likes you back.And let them know they too will do it when they GROW UP!Also,let them know that people catch sexually transmitted diseases when they have sex without protection or they could have an unwanted baby as a result.So ,they have to be responsible and grown up when they start having sex.Im sure they'll understand.

Answer 5

you'd probably be surpised at what they already know!! just let them know that sex is what GROWN UPS do when they are in love. answer any questions they have honestly but you dont have to give details.
I grew up knowing my mom got pregnant the 2nd time she had sex, therefore i didnt have sex til I was 19!! my mom was always honest with me as a kid and i am greatful for that. now that i have a (step) daughter of my own, i try to do the same for her.

Answer 6

I have a nine year old and he has ask me questions before. I went and bought the book "Where do I come from". It is a cartoon based book about the birds and the bees in a language that youner children understand. I told him to go and read it and when he had finished if there was anything he needed to know more about to ask his father and I.
I don't go into details and I don't lie. e.g. When I go shopping and go to buy sanitary items for myself and my son usually goes to me " Oh your not having a baby this month." I have not gone into details and my son asked me what i was buying them for.
I think it is up to the parents discretion when to talk about sex issues with their children.

Answer 7

your kidding me right? By the time I was 8 I knew all the facts about sex ( my mother told me ) tell the the truth tell them the facts let them know u love them no matter what and tell them not to speak about that stuff infront of ur 5 year old

Answer 8

Kids pick up so much at school from other kids! I would talk to your pediatrician and find a good age appropriate book.

Answer 9

wait till they start pubety, 10 and 8 is too young, when their about 12/13 sit them down and just tell them what sex is and how is works and what can happen from unprotected sex, you dont need to get into the details or scare them, just the general idea

Answer 10

Why do you wana tell them!?! They probaly havent even gon through puberty yet, and i hope they didnt get presherd at there age. This might be a good time to talk about drugs rather then sex.