Ive been "seeing" this girl for four months now. Were not dating, were just hooking up alot. I have a four year old son, hes mom left us right after he was born. This girl know that were not or never will be more than what we are now and were both ok with that. Well lately my son has been asking for her all the time. Shes so nice to him and she really cares about him alot. Everything was fine until 3 days ago when he called her mommy, right away he corrected himself and said i mean ashley but its scaring me, hes so attached to her and i know its not going anywhere. Please tell me what you think i should do about this.
2007-01-08 10:09:57 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
It's your fault that you introduced your son to a piece of as s. Have some common sense next time. Don't subject your son to a life of women coming and going. His mom already did it to him, don't have other women do it to him too.
2007-01-08 10:13:07 · answer #1 · answered by zinntwinnies 6 · 11⤊ 1⤋
When there is a child involved it is very hard to have a privet life because of the fact that they are your life! I think it is a mistake to bring her over so much if the relationship is not that serious. Kids do not understand it is just sex they just see the person. If you care about your son witch I think you do. You should keep you lady friends separate from your home life! Remember that he is always watching you and will never stop. You have to think of him more then sex! I don't mean to be rude but I have been through that and I would never want my kids to be hurt or let down because of what I chose to do. Make sense? I hope that you find a balance that works for you as well as your son!
2007-01-08 10:34:39 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This girl should have been seperate from your sons life right from the get go. Obviously he knows she is more than a friend so you must be doing things in front of him that he picks up on, such as kissing, hugging and so forth. That needs to stop.
The only way you can not have him get attached to your special friends is to introduce them as friends and keep your hands to yourselves if he is in the same room.
If you can't keep from being romantic in front of him then you need to accept the fact that he will be confused if you don't commit to this person / or persons and you are just harming him emotionally.
Keep your bed mates only for the bed, not during your time with your son unless you are committed to them.
Why confuse your son and btw, is this really what you want your son to grow up thinking? That women are worth sleeping with but nothing more? Just keep your 2 lives seperate until he is much older.
2007-01-08 10:17:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your son is looking for that Mommy figure and since shes the one that he sees all the time, hes become attached. Im sure it will happen alos with any female that walks through your door. Just a word of advice. Do not bring any more females around him unless you are in a serious relationship. He will get very attached.
2007-01-08 10:25:56 · answer #4 · answered by courtney b 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First of all, in the future learn from this SERIOUS mistake. DO NOT BRING A WOMAN AROUND YOUR SON UNLESS IT IS VERY SERIOUS! Even then, I would be hesitant. This is going to cause him some serious emotional pain. I would sit down and talk to this girl. Be nice. In other words, don't tell her that you are a jackass and she has meant nothing more than sex to you. Lie to her and tell her you care but there is some (make up a good one) reason why it cannot work out. Ask for her help with easing your son into this transition. Hopefully, she will. She seems like a decent person, hopefully in the future your son's father will be as well.
2007-01-08 10:12:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
why in the world would you allow anyone you do not take seriously to even MEET your son? being a father is more important. I;m not saying not to date or gets your needs taken care of but find a babysitter go out. do not bring a woman home to meet your son unless you are planning to make a life with her. women may come and go in your life but your son deserves better than that. you are going to have to talk to your son and this woman needs to stop coming around. Tell her you can only see her alone because you do not want your son attached to her in that way because it's for his own good. She will be hurt but it's whats best. your son will be hurt for a time also but better now than to let this continue.
2007-01-08 10:13:51 · answer #6 · answered by Ella727 4 · 7⤊ 1⤋
You've turned this women into a mother-figure in the life of your motherless son and you really only have yourself to blame. If you didn't care for her, you shouldn't have let her so close to your son. Now you just have to grin and bear it. He's a child looking for a mother and he's found her in this woman who cares for him and loves him.
Breaking that relationship up now could emotionally harm your son, especially since he's at an age where having a mother is so important. Even if you break up with this girl, all you can do is maintain your son's relationship with her for as long as he needs it as you have to put him before yourself. And thank your lucky stars that she reciprocates his love as some people end up with partners who treat the kids like crap.
2007-01-08 11:51:16 · answer #7 · answered by starchilde5 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No offense, but do you stop to think what you are putting your son through just to get a piece? If you make the decision to have children, you should also be responsible enough to NOT DATE until the child is 18 if things do not work out with the other parent. Losing his mother is enough, watching you skirt around is something he doesn't need to see.
2007-01-08 10:16:04 · answer #8 · answered by Firegrl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Either move into a commited, long term relationship with "this girl" or stop seeing her immediately. Ultimately, the needs of your child are vastly more important than yours. Don't confuse your son for a hook-up. And don't even think about explaining it to him--there is no way a 4 year old can distinguish between a female adult in a permanent loving relationship with his father and a female adult in a sexual relationship with his father.
2007-01-08 10:14:04 · answer #9 · answered by Qwyrx 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You will have to do what most women do when dating or meeting a **** buddy and that meet that person else where. This pattern most be maintain until you are sure that this person will be around for a while. Otherwise you will find yourself in this situation all the time. Children have not way of understanding this type of relationship as anything other than mom and or dad.
2007-01-08 10:14:45 · answer #10 · answered by georgiabanksmartin 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
it truly is the reason you should keep your "lovelife" separate out of your baby till you experience confident & waiting that the guy you're with will percentage on your son's existence besides. this way you received't ought to bypass by circumstances like this. little ones at this age are very liable to many stuff and we must be very careful what & who we invite into our lives. i'm a unmarried mom of a 2 year previous & today I easily haven't any desire of wanting a pal of any sorts yet i'm particular many, many eons from now that could want to replace. And even as it does my son received't meet this human being till i understand it's going to be a concrete relationship that could want to finally finally end up in marriage. I already made one mistake falling in love w/ an fool (his father) so i can't bypass for round 2. At this element your son is for sure connected. 4 year olds are a lot smarter than we supply them credit. sit with him first & clarify the challenge, the kind of friendship you've (nicely, w/o the truthfully information). enable your son to voice his reviews, to percentage his thoughts & emotions and it would want to exercising consultation after all and end bringing her close to him till you're extreme about her! keep in thoughts, today this is about HIS existence! strong success & perfect needs.
2016-12-02 00:39:01 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋