oh ****!!! i just found out.....?

Question

im 19 years old and i just found out my boyfriends real age...he told me he was 26 when i met him and i believed him becuz he looks young...but then i found out his real age is 30...i love him soo much...yes it hurt me that he lied of his age but it didnt change who he is and our love stay the same...so the question is does age really matter? 19...30? please give me real answers..thank you

Answer 1

hey chick. the age gap shouldnt matter if your both in the same frame of mind and maturity.
i was 18 just out of school and my boyf was 28. things were great as we were both the same level of maturity and both working that summer. i went to college though and was going out during the week and working part time weekends whereas he would work during the week and wouldnt go out and always wanted me to go out weekends but i couldnt because i was working.
also after 6months he wanted me to move in which was a bit crazy as i was only 18, only starting college and hadn't really got the money to be independant yet. but he was 28...looking to settle down. and thats where you might find problems.
also your friends might be the type to go out and party and most might still be single. but dont be suprised if his friends are opting to stay in and have meals together as they are engaged, married, or have kids...
things like that ruined our relationship, he felt he was too mature to be silly and go clubbing whereas i felt like i was playing house before my time around his. The fact he was ready to settle down when i was still so young just made us a disaster too.
look hard at your relationship and look towards the future as to how things might be when do you think you want kids, marraige and when will he. it may seem silly to discuss that now but (and im not being funny) at thirty things happen a lot faster than when your in your teens.
it is weird that he lied about his age. how did you find out? did he admit it or did you catch him out? I would be wary of other lies too. If youve never seen his house or have restrictions on when you can call him he may be playing you around.
on the other hand he may just have been scared of losing you.
only you can decide whats best for you. look towards the future. and best of luck pet!

Answer 2

I agree that age SHOULD not play a factor in love and that he did lie about his age. Let's talk about the lie first... If he had disclosed his real age right away, would you have given him a chance? If you can honestly say that you would have, then you can stress about that lie. However, if you know that you would never have given him a chance with his age, then let it go.... by giving you a fake age, he brought down a HUGE barrier that would have prevented your relationship.

Now to the bigger issue. Age. I'm 30 now and have dated girls who were MUCH younger (don't worry, all were legal. LOL). The best example was when I was 27 and dating an 18 year old. There were so many references that she did not get. It was amazingly strange knowing that the stuff I grew up on, was ancient history for her. If you two can overcome that, then it's no big deal. To me, it was kind of a big deal that there was such a difference in the way I thought things through and the way she did. It was also a big deal that she could not go to the places I wanted to go (such as bars and some clubs). In the end, the hardest thing to overcome is that you're not 21 yet. But if both of you are okay with that, I wish you both nothing but happiness!

Answer 3

Age matters to a certain degree when you are young. A 10 year spread between a 17 year old and a 27 year old is pretty big. This isn't so much of a deal when you are older. Say 27 and 37. This is primarily a prejudice put on people by society. But when you have old men preying on young women, I just think it's really gross and sad.

What you should be more concerned about is that he lied to you to get in a relationship with you. From the start, your relationship was built on a lie, and now that you are suckered, you want to forgive that? What else has he lied or misled you about? What else will he lie about in the future?

My take is if he did this just to get you into a relationship with him, you better run fast. Because crimes of the mind are one thing, but crimes of the heart are another. You have been violated and you don't even know it because he has obscured your trust. Think about it. If my daughter was seeking that guy, I would go kick his ***.

Answer 4

He's not a very good liar... the difference between 26 and 30 really isn't that great. What matters more is how long you've been going out. If for more than a year or two, you may have right to be concerned about why your boyfriend, an adult, would even consider dating a minor.

The fact that he lied may be of more concern at this point.

Answer 5

It does not matter i am in a relastion where the guy will be 30 in Sept. And i will be 22 in june. If you love him stay with him. But watch out if he lied about his age he might be lying about other things


good luck

Answer 6

Well how long do you want to see him? Do you think you are going to get married to him? It only matters if you see yourself having children. I changed a lot between 19 and 30 and you may grow out of your relationship with him. I know a lot of girls that got married at 19 and are divorced by 21.

Answer 7

I think it's not a good sign that he lied!!!! You are so young and you have so many decisions ahead of you. 11 years wouldn't be bad if you were 30 and 41 but, 19 and 30 I say break it off.

Answer 8

So u 19 and he 30?? and he lied?/
Oh that bad girl I read in a teen magazine that if a man lies about his age that means he wants to break up with you
Iam not saying this is true that is just what I have read

Answer 9

Age is just a number! But find why he lied? Lying isn't going in a relationship.

Answer 10

no age doesnt matter, its the love of the heart that matters. I would be more concerned that he lied about it in the first place. I mean if he is lying about his age what else is he lying about?