I need to talk to people that have grown up in the church of christ and left after grown.?

Question

someone that has grown up in the church of christ but didn't believe in it should know what i'm going through. how did you brake this fact that you don't believe this crap to your parents? i'll be 18 this year and i don't plan on going back after that but i don't know the easy way to brake my moms heart.

for all you people that don't know what i'm talking about is this:
they believe that your going to hell if you step inside another church other than the churh of christ.
they believe that in order to be saved u have to be baptized.
and a woman can't speak a word in church witch neather can another man other than the one who is preaching.
and u HAVE to take communion every sunday and only sunday
and u can't have any music other than singing
AND THEY DON'T BELIEVE IN MIRACLES

theres a lot more lol but i think u get the picture. I don't want to tell my mom I don't believe in this cause in her mind i have givin my heart to the devil. but i don't want to pretend anymore.

Answer 1

That used to be the Boston Church of Christ (aka International church of christ). I do feel for you kiddo. I only spent 6 months there, but I got out when those rules started infringing on my privacy. They are a very Toxic church and yes they are a cult.

When I left, I did not tell anyone. I just packed up one weekend while they were away at a camp, and walked out. My sister found me a place to live. They did try to disciple me at work on the phone, but when I told them I was calling the police because of their harassement they stopped. They dont like to be "persecuted".

Prior to joining the ICC, I grew up in the Baptist church. When I left there, I just told my parents, I'm 18 now and I dont want to go to church any more. I'm old enough to make my own decision, and really you cant do anything about it.

But you will still need a place to stay. Do you go to a public school or an ICC school? IF you're at a public school, can you ask any of your friends for help? .

Do you have any family who are NOT in the church that you can contact? Otherwise I would strongly suggest you get in touch with the folks at www.REVEAL.org. (see the link. )

They are all ex-ICC . They know what its like, and they want to help people to get out. The second link is a page of support groups - find one from your area - I am sure they can help you.

Good luck

Answer 2

I grew up in the church of Christ. When I was your age I went through a stage where I was unfaithful, but later I returned to the church.
My advice to you is before you reject all of the things "they believe", study those issues.
Ask yourself why you don't believe them. Is it just your desire or do those things contradict the Bible?
Be honest with yourself, your parents and other members of the church. If you have trouble with something ask them about it. Get Bible answers to your Bible questions!

For example, you mentioned the role of women. Women have a vital role in the church! Also properly viewed, the ways men are "over" women is not a way that should be insulting to women. There are just different roles. The bible says, "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." (1 Cor. 11:3)
If it is an insult for man to be the head of woman in this verse, then it is also an insult for God to be the head of Christ or Christ to be the head of man. When properly understood, however, you can understand that Christ loved men and women so much that he gave himself up for us. When those roles are so motovated by sacrificial love, it is no problem to follow those who have certain authority.

Again my advice, tell your parents and those in the church that you have trouble with some of the things you see. Do this with an attitude of seeking understanding! Don't try to argue or point fingers.
It may be that instead of completely leaving the church, you might find another congregation where you feel more comfortable.
I don't know anything about your congregation, but they may have trouble standing by the truth, but doing it with love. Maybe you can encourage them toward love and good works (Heb. 10:24-25).
Don't burn bridges behind you! Make sure the things you have problems with are not just what you desire. If you don't like what the Bible says, then the problem is yours, but if the problem is a difference between your opinion and someone else's, then you and that other person may both have to return to the scriptures.

You listed several things you don't like, but the important thing is "What does the Bible say?" Please take the time and study each of these items. In the future, you will be gald you did!

Answer 3

Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.

There are many bible believing and loving church's of Christ. Read a book or two by Max Lucado. He is a pastor at a church of Christ. Churches of Christ are largely independent. Likely you have experienced bad pastoral leadership. There are good ones out there.

You must also make your faith in Christ your own. Your parents cannot believe it for you. Perhaps that is the tack to take with your parents. That you are seeking God, and Christ. If it leads you back to the church of christ then so be it. If not then hopefully they would want you to find Christ and trust Him with your life. If they are truly bent on the church being the only one qualified for you then you have a hard decision to make.

Being 18 is only the start of your adulthood. You have a long row to hoe and you will need support. The one thing I have learned about God is that the relationship is always more important than the issue. While it will not be (at least at first) for them it still can be for you. Find a church where you can go and live and love. Ask God to show you His heart and He will. If you are going to be living at home, you may have another battle to fight. Remember that while you do not agree with your parents you still love them and it is partly their love that motivates them as well. It is also partly their own immaturity that motivates them. Parents are people too and just like you need the grace to find God, so do they.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Hey,
My brother's a believer and it's always interesting when he comes home for Christmas. This year he was a lot less fanatical then last, but there's still a certain pretense we have to keep up. I understand that you don't want to pretend anymore, but there are ways around an outright confession without compromising your own fledgling beliefs. The first step is moving out, if you haven't already. That way, you're not around this stuff all the time and it's not such a burden on your day to day life. Reassure your parents that you aren't going over to the devil and continue to attend church with them on special occasions. If you have to sacrifice Sundays to attend church, you could always think of it as family time, chill out and take the quiet time to reflect on your day, your own philosophies and beliefs. Some folks might tell you that you have every right to tell your family about your change of heart, but I just don't think it's necessary. Your beliefs are your business and no one has a right to know what's going on inside your head but you. Why make these things your family's business when you know it will only lead to them getting upset? You're already baptized, so no worries about that and, if you ever want to get married or ever have to attend a funeral, churches really know what they're doing. Lots of church stuff is about Jesus and souls, but there's an undercurrent of community it's hard to replace. Tolerate your parents religion and do some active research. Reading some great Christian thinkers like Milton, C.S. Lewis (check out his sci-fi) and Dostoevsky, will keep you connected to your family's spiritual roots without boring or annoying you. Trust me, they're all worth the read from a secular stand-point. In the meantime, there's no harm 'keeping the faith' even when you don't feel it... who knows, you might find it a real comfort some time in the future.

Best of luck to you,
Nicole

Answer 5

Well, I didn't leave the Church of Christ, but my situation is similar. I grew up Catholic and never believed anything about God. So, when I got out of the house, I just didn't follow that church thing anymore. I didn't really tell my parents, but no longer supported those ideas. It was easier for me because my parents have since stopped doing the church thing and are open to my having my own beliefs. I suggest you just live your life and let your mom know you feel you have a different path. There is no way to get her to think you aren't doomed. But there is also no way to just hide it. This is a part of growing up. It's just a part of life to disagree with your parents, even on pretty serious issues (to them) like this. She will either understand or not. That's just how it is.

Answer 6

I attend a church of Christ and sadly there are some people who still feel this way. There is currently a movement away from the doctrines which you mentioned above. first, I would say that you should do what is best for your relationship with God which may or may not be what is best for your relationship with your mom. Second, it is very possible that you can find a more progressive "church of Christ". I currently attend one myself and have visited many in the past as well. Last, PRAY about it. God is in control and He can take care of it in the end.

Answer 7

My parents are Church of Christ, so I know where you are coming from. I converted to Catholicism when I was seventeen, and even now, over fifteen years later, my folks still haven't completely accepted it. My mom still hopes to see me baptised in the Church of Christ, because my Catholic baptism is not seen as valid. It bothers me a little that my parents think I'm probably going to hell for how I choose to worhip, but I just tune it out, and we get along fine. I am an adult after all, and they respected me enough to allow me to follow my own path.

Answer 8

At the time it was once simply referred to as "the Church". Those who belonged had been Christians who believed in Orthodox Theology. In 1054 that Church was once cut up and the 2 materials had been both referred to as Orthodox or Roman Catholic. They each had Orthodox ideals and most effective disagreed on a pair problems. They are the 2 final materials of the Church Jesus based. Only the Roman Catholic Church has maintained its proof of the Bishopric that belonged to Peter--or else referred to as the Pope. Today the Orthodox global as a rule accepts as a indisputable fact that Rome does have Peter's stays and the Pope is the successor to Peter, the Roch that Jesus developed the Church on. As Father Joe facets out right here, a few folks attempt to take strong flips and flops to check out to disclaim what is apparent in scripture and global historical past(no longer the revisionist sort however truly historical past located in all of the best libraries of the arena from Harvard to Oxford). If you learn cautiously the Gospels and the ebook of Acts Jesus surely was once founding a "Church" no longer a unfastened knit institution of people who preferred to hang around every now and then. He selected leaders and taught them the way to lead and took exact moments of anointing them for ministry and coaching them and appointing them positions within the coming Church IN Acts and the letters of Paul you spot them developing workplaces equivalent to Deacon and Bishop and their are Bishops recorded in History right down to in these days(the pope being the leader bishop).

Answer 9

If you have to live with her it might be easier to just go to church until you can move out and study other religions in private. You know what's in your heart and that you don't believe in it. And once you move out if she doesn't respect that well she'll lose touch with her own child, and that will be her choice. Maybe take this time while living with her to build a better relationship that may withstand the rockiness when you leave the church.

Answer 10

I was 18 when i left Christianity ... but luckily my parents were very open minded and accepted my decision
actually my parents left not long after, when their church told them that they could not attend the funeral of a friend because it was in a Catholic church ...
that was the straw that broke the camels back for us all
i dont know how to advise you sweetie ... as i had an easy time of it
but best of luck in whatever you do xx