Should I go? If I do, should I tell him? If so, when?

Question

I have been involved with a guy for a year now. I met him 8 months after a very nasty divorce. I wasn't interested in a long-term, serious relationship, but it became that very quickly as he is one of the sweetest men that I have ever met. We began talking marriage over the summer, but that discussion stopped after I found out that he had serious financial issues that were concealed from me and in one case outright lied about (he actually stole $20 from my checkbook!!!). I went on a pre-planned vacation with my girlfriend right after that happened and met a nice guy on the trip. I realized that I was probably just feeling hurt about my guy's indiscretions and didn't want to make some dumb mistake so I avoided him. Three months have passed since and while I still feel like I love my boyfriend very much, I also find myself still thinking about the guy from my trip. Through an email forward, the guy got my email address and we have corresponded. He invited me to visit. Do I go? Do I tell?

Thanks for all the good answers thus far...A few more clarifying details:

1) My guy has started a new job last week which should help his financial situation
2) The "other" guy lives 10 states away, so I am not really looking for a relationship with him
3) I meet guys all the time and could date others if I wanted, but I am not really looking for that or interested, which is why I am curious about the guy that is out of state
4) Should I ask to "date other people" to not totally let me guy go in case he does start to get his financial act together?

Answer 1

Depends on who you want....your current man stole money from you..and can't handle his finances....ANY FOOL who has to resort to stealing like that.....ain't ready for NO RELATIONSHIP as far as marriage....and i suppose in your case you're already stable so....i think that dude still needs to find 'hiimself' life wise before trying to take care or live with anyone else.

SO PERSONALLY i would've left homeboy and moved on....

Yet again it depends on how good of a person your man is..if his stupidity was out of desperation, and out of those 3 months he's been genuinely trying to fix himself, and he still makes you happy...then avoid temptation and work it out with someone who would be willing to work it out with you. No need to constantly jump from man to man expecting the perfect man..cause you'll never find him.

But if homeboy looks like he has no hope any time soon or by your clock...do the right thing, let him go...and THEN go emailing this dude....dont' be part of the statistic and cheat...last thing you want is to be branded as a ho.

Answer 2

By asking the question you have the answer.

If you are not married. And you want to have a healthy happy marriage with the partner that you dream of....then keep shopping. Financial Woes take on a whole different slant after marriage.

My thinking is. Go see Mr. Mysterious. Don't tell your guy,
Make up your mind quickly after you return. Otherwise you are in a triangle. Well you sort of already are, so you need to get out of that ASAP. Those things have a way of blowing up in your face and all three loose out. Any guy that would take a $20 from his woman is a lame *** dude!! Cause any man would be able to ask for a $20 and pay you back, or just ask for it!!

Good luck!

Answer 3

If you don't want a project and get into financial problems with the guy that lied to you, don't get involved, he doesn't own you and you don't owe him anything. People lie and steal, but to do it to someone you love...it's just one of those things that really make or break a marriage. Do you really want to go through another marriage just to find out that he's really not the one after all? All these things you've seen about that guy are clues, figure out what they're telling you. This guy is going to be a project for you to work on. All I can see is misery, frustration, more debt and tears on your part.

As for the new flame; first get rid of the guy you're involved with before you start something else with someone. You don't want to turn into the person your guy is: a liar.

Answer 4

Take it from someone who married someone who went bankrupt before we got married. You do NOT want to stay with a guy who has financial issues and stole money from you! Because of my ex's financial woes, we bought things together since I had great credit at the time. Needless to say, he never paid me back, and my credit went bad due to it. RUN! You can find a guy who doesn't have money issues!

Good luck!

Answer 5

You're about to cause a whole lot of problems just to get at your bf for being financially screwed.

How does one steal $20 from a checkbook anyways.

Answer 6

sometimes YES sometimes NO. Pregnancy signs are the same as signs of a period coming so sometimes it's very hard to tell. tHE VERY BEST way to know is to wait till a period is late and do a hometest. I was 7 weeks before i found out with my daughter I NEVER felt sick pregnant sore boobs ANY SIGNS of pregnancy but, a + test. With this pregnancy before my period was due i felt hot, irriated, crampy, sore boobs, everything smelled terrible. All pregnancy are differnt even if a women is having no signs and a period is late it's best to test.

Answer 7

I don't care how sweet he is - this guy has stolen from you and lied to you! If you continue your relationship with him it will just be more of the same - and if you were to marry him his debts become your debts. Break it off and find someone else. Obviously if you are corresponding with another guy you have already started to distance yourself emotionally. If you do go to visit this new guy please be careful. You only know what he has told you about himself - which may or may not be true.

Answer 8

If you go yes you should tell. You shouldn't cheat on your boyfriend. If you go then you shouldn't be with your boyfriend in the first place. Be upfront and honest with him. Just make sure a summer fling is worth ruining an entire relationship over.

Answer 9

Absolutely, go! Sounds like your boyfriend has been less than honest with you. There's nothing wrong with you checking out the other guy; especially if you think there's a future with him. I wouldn't tell him, yet, you're certainly under no obligation to him! After all, he lied, by omission, to you!

Answer 10

decide wether u want to be with your boyfriend or not, sort things out with him or else dump him.

do not make your decision based on wether u want to see this guy from the trip or not.

if u do decide u dont want to be with ur boyfriend, then go on the trip, but dont jump into anything u didnt know him very long and he may be completly different to what u expect!